(no subject)
If you read my previous update, you'll have already noticed that I'm going to Berklee, and thus moving to Boston. Problem is, I'm not so sure about this moving thing.
I mean, I know it'll be great when I get there, and I'll love it next year when/if I go. That's not even a question. But I've had to move so many times this year (Puerto Rico-Raleigh, Raleigh-Asheville), I don't know if I'm ready to leave again, especially when I'm just really starting to get comfortable in this place. Throwing myself out into the unknown, though it's been somewhat of a pattern throughout my life, is not one of my favorite activities in the world. So I'm not too psyched about that.
But as long as my mind is still relatively tranquil, it's cool, and it has actually been pretty steadily alright for the past few weeks. I've skipped far too many classes and indulged in even more... shall we say "less-than-legal" substances, but I'm getting the hang of things now. It's been steadily getting a good amount easier, and I've gotten used to going to classes again after such a long break. I also went to see Toubab Krewe last night in Charlotte with a bunch of friends, and am going back next week for the Soulive concert, which should be awesome.
Now that we're up to date, I have one thing that's been bothering me: why, instead of focusing on the present, do we always seem to have such one-track minds that we can think of nothing else but preparing ourselves for the future? In the past few days I've been thinking about that how in my situation most people would be looking forward to next year so much and playing all the time to get ready for such a competitive school. And for the most part, they have good reason for doing so. It's always great to be prepared. I know this because it happens so infrequently for me, it's almost a novelty when it does occur. But my problem is that instead of looking to how great it's going to be once I get to Boston, I'm thinking about how little time I have left here. I really only have a few more weeks before break, and afterwards, what do I have? Less than two months, and then it's goodbye, Asheville. I don't know, I guess I just don't think of this part of my life as being complete, to put it simply. I don't know if I've learned all of the lessons here that I was supposed to, if I've grown enough as a person. But most of all, I don't know if I'm ready to be alone again, living by myself, surrounded by new people, in big city life in a place I've only been to once. I just don't know.
In other news: girls do weird shit.
I mean, I know it'll be great when I get there, and I'll love it next year when/if I go. That's not even a question. But I've had to move so many times this year (Puerto Rico-Raleigh, Raleigh-Asheville), I don't know if I'm ready to leave again, especially when I'm just really starting to get comfortable in this place. Throwing myself out into the unknown, though it's been somewhat of a pattern throughout my life, is not one of my favorite activities in the world. So I'm not too psyched about that.
But as long as my mind is still relatively tranquil, it's cool, and it has actually been pretty steadily alright for the past few weeks. I've skipped far too many classes and indulged in even more... shall we say "less-than-legal" substances, but I'm getting the hang of things now. It's been steadily getting a good amount easier, and I've gotten used to going to classes again after such a long break. I also went to see Toubab Krewe last night in Charlotte with a bunch of friends, and am going back next week for the Soulive concert, which should be awesome.
Now that we're up to date, I have one thing that's been bothering me: why, instead of focusing on the present, do we always seem to have such one-track minds that we can think of nothing else but preparing ourselves for the future? In the past few days I've been thinking about that how in my situation most people would be looking forward to next year so much and playing all the time to get ready for such a competitive school. And for the most part, they have good reason for doing so. It's always great to be prepared. I know this because it happens so infrequently for me, it's almost a novelty when it does occur. But my problem is that instead of looking to how great it's going to be once I get to Boston, I'm thinking about how little time I have left here. I really only have a few more weeks before break, and afterwards, what do I have? Less than two months, and then it's goodbye, Asheville. I don't know, I guess I just don't think of this part of my life as being complete, to put it simply. I don't know if I've learned all of the lessons here that I was supposed to, if I've grown enough as a person. But most of all, I don't know if I'm ready to be alone again, living by myself, surrounded by new people, in big city life in a place I've only been to once. I just don't know.
In other news: girls do weird shit.