What's the opposite of spazzing?

[daeness]

The rocky part of being a student is that if you are like me, who is really aiming to be on top, you have to maintain and be consistent in everything that you're doing. Especially when your parents are getting used to it, it gets more harder than you imagine. Proving myself to them has been one my jobs in my whole student life. It's like I do everything just to make them realize that I am a good student. As far as I could remember, I've never been out of the class Top 10 since Grade 1 (there are no Honor's Roll in my Kindergarten years) and I still continue to be an achiever 'till Freshmen year. I somehow think what's the purpose of this. Business firms won't even know that I've been on the Top 3 in my first year in highschool. I think they care more about if I'm a Cum Laude at college, that's what I'm really aiming for WHICH I am particularly sure I cannot achieve.

Oh Lord, please help my parents realize that I am not a robot or something. Say my sorry to them also for getting low grades at times. It's just so exhausting to keep on being consistent.

OKAY FINE WHATEVER, I just ranted a very spazzing-opposite topic.