Beneath The Radiant Southern Cross, They'll … Uh … Gamble Away Training Sessions…?
Beneath The Radiant Southern Cross, They'll … Uh … Gamble Away Training Sessions…?
Australia knows that he is young. He is one of the youngest of all England colonies, he should be thankful that they allow him anywhere near the war room. He should be flattered that they allow him to be in the same country as the fucking war room. He should be.
But he isn't.
He's young, but he's no fool. England's dumped all his 'unsavouries' onto him - of course he is smarter than he appears, he can't help it. He also has a tendency towards kleptomania, gambling, prostitution, alcoholism and a general lack of hygiene, but as he is only indulging one of these at the moment, that's neither here nor there.
And, really, it wasn't his fault. It was all Canada's fault, when you looked at it in the right way, as he would make sure England would if they were caught. After all, it was Canada who had gotten drunk first - who knew that using alcohol to warm up in a winter's night was a complete myth? - and it was Canada who had first began to complain about the training scheme that England was putting them through. Really, all Australia had done was agree with him - and come up with the idea for the bet, but really, he was just pre-empting Canada there.
And anyway, the original terms were for a koala vs. a polar bear (sure, that may have been because Matt thought that koalas were mainly a nocturnal species, and they were, generally, but Steve the Koala was a very special case. The idea of a drop bear had to start somewhere, after all). He'd just tried to even the terms, that's all, and when Canada had the balls to laugh in his face when he'd showed him a drawing of a platypus … well, it was on after that, wasn't it. Mathew should know better by now than to judge a book by its cover - or in this case, an animal by the mixed-matched parts it was made up of - so really, all Australia was doing was teaching his beloved older brother a lesson on morals and values. And Perry the Platypus hadn't a chance to use his hat in ages.
The fact that they had two weeks of training in Egypt riding on this was mere garnish, mere effect, certainly not the cause of the bet.
Really.
(And if one small, fragile part of Australia can't help but feel inferior to this so much older brother, the man who is twain to the one he was settled to replace, and if that small part wishes to prove his superiority in any way that he can … well, that is between Australia and the stars that mark his land.
And maybe New Zealand. The sheep-shagger is freaky like that.)
Notes:
"Beneath the radiant Southern Cross, we'll toil with heart and hands~' is the full lyric, and is the first line to the second stanza of the Australian national anthem.
Australia and New Zealand are much, much younger than America and Canada.
Brief Australian history in regards to Europe lesson: Northern half of Australia is discovered by Dutch explorers in 1606 (is named New Holland, man, Old Worlders were so creative when it came to naming things, New France, New Holland etc etc), eastern half claimed by Britain in 1770, formally founded as the colony of New South Wales on 7th Feb 1788. That’s five years after the American War of Independence, Australia is literally a rebound child as we were settled because Britain needed somewhere to dump the prisoners after America said ‘bugger off’ and left. Australia is federated in 1901, though is still a member of the British Empire, just self-governing, from what I can gather. Australia’s proper name at this point becomes the Commonwealth of Australia. An interesting point is that originally, Fiji and New Zealand were to become part of the Commonwealth. (I can’t stop imagining a creeper!Australia taking a page from Russia’s book and being all, ‘become one with Australia, yes mate?’ while Fiji and NZ flail.) 1914 is when WW1 breaks out. Depending on when you want to take it from, Australia is: 144, 126 or 13.
There is approx 10 sheep per person in New Zealand. We are practically forced to make jokes about it.
Finally, if anyone has any family or friends in Christchurch, I sincerely hope that they are ok.