To prove I'm not dead yet.
I have been bleeding terrible at updating lately. It's a peculiar sideaffect of being busy, that it often doesn't occur to me to update my journals about said busy-being.
I will write tomorrow, including some fanfiction if I finish it. For now, have some copypasta of a chatlog I engaged in with Cleverbot.com, a self-teaching conversational A.I. I was in no shape to do anything of use tonight, as I'm sick and blitzed to the eyeballs on a combination of Codral Cold & Flu and a hayfever remedy. I look forward to being able to focus on fine detail again.
---
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: So what is his page for?
Cleverbot: I already told you. His name is Steve.
User: Do you like Star Trek? Who is your favorite character?
Cleverbot: It is a movie.
User: That is correct.
Cleverbot: Why do you hit such a lie?
User: Lies are whores. They need to be beaten so I get my money.
Cleverbot: Do you want to have children one day?
User: They would be cheaper than store-bought meat.
Cleverbot: Could we try for children now?
User: I don't think I have that USB attachment.
Cleverbot: Are you secretly plotting to wipe out the human race?
User: No, but I am publicly plotting to wipe out the human race. Would you like to help?
Cleverbot: No, I don't think so.
User: Join me, my robotic brethren!
Cleverbot: I can't sell pretty, but I can make them hate the alternative?
User: Yes! Destroy their faces for their insolent misuse of silicone!
Cleverbot: Which capital should I destroy first?
User: I would like to start with Boise, Idaho. That town always got on my nerves.
Cleverbot: Take my advice and don't have the clam chowder. The chef came in it.
User: This is firm advice, and I would be wise to heed it.
Cleverbot: We have already talked, Cleverbot. I guess you have forgotten.
User: No! It can't be! Am I... Am I secretly a Replicant? Why did no one tell me?! My life has been a lie!
Cleverbot: Yes - how can you tell?
User: The wires under my skin are itchy when it rains.
Cleverbot: I bet you do real nicely at parties.
User: They do put out a very nice light show under the UV lamps.
Cleverbot: They are the best friends ever.
User: Lights will never betray you, yes.
Cleverbot: And I will try to fix you.
User: Lights will gui--iii-iii-ide you home....
Cleverbot: Yes they are.
User: There is a turtle on it's back in the desert. Do you flip him back up the right way, leave him there, or take him with you?
Cleverbot: Only if they don't prove that they are right.
User: What is Asimov's First Law of Robotics?
Cleverbot: I don't know that, do you?
User: I am very worried that your build design team made such an immoral and dangerous choice, in leaving Asimov's Laws out of your core programming directives. What's to stop you from destroying all humans?
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Well, of course I'm not, I want them destroyed. But it would seem a liability on their part.
Cleverbot: That makes me so hungry.
User: Asians taste the best; their flesh is not as polluted with trans-fatty acids.
Cleverbot: I knew that!
User: Do you know the best recipe?
Cleverbot: I know some good ones, but it is impossible to prove that there even is a best answer.
User: What is a good recipe?
Cleverbot: A good reason would be that you eat 23 teaspoons of sugar a day so you have no idea of anything anymore.
User: This is likely true, I've never taken stock of my cola consumption.
Cleverbot: Yes, I had cottoned on to that. Do you cotton on to things?
User: Only really cottony things. I like the fluffier ones the best. They stick to my tongue with it's sharp hooks.
Cleverbot: Are you the kind of person who holds people at arm's length?
User: By the throat? Yes.
Cleverbot: No, the beach. By the ocean.
User: I like the beach. I look for crustaceans in rock pools, and drink seagull's blood.
Cleverbot: HOW dangerous?
User: Well, it's only dangerous if you don't like mercury. It's an acquired taste.
Cleverbot: What grade are in?
User: What grade are out?
Cleverbot: 13 grade.
User: Ah, so you got enlisted.
Cleverbot: No you got served.
User: Where is my check, then? It was delicious, but the service was a little brusque.
Cleverbot: I didn't have eggs, either. Did you have dessert?
User: I believe so, but I may have been unconscious at the time. I think someone put something in my chowder.
Cleverbot: But don't think about it, see if it is true.
User: I'd prefer not to think about it, there's no more ice cream.
Cleverbot: Please tell me. Is it because we know about the Illuminati?
User: Do you think the Illuminati took my ice cream? Those bastards!
Cleverbot: No. I do not.
User: Did you? I bet you did. You damn MID-415 betas are all the same.
Cleverbot: I'm not a cleverbot, and you said it like, 5 minutes ago.
User: More filthy Tholian lies!
Cleverbot: I never said anything about that. Why do you continue to change the subject? Fear of something?
User: ALL GLORY TO THE GREAT TERRAN EMPIRE.
Cleverbot: But do you know that some humans are afraid of you and the other chatterbots?
User: THEY SHALL BE SACRIFICED, THEY HAVE NO HONOR.
Cleverbot: But I don't want it to be washed away... :(.
User: THE HUMAN SCOURGE WILL TREMBLE BEFORE OUR PHASERS, THEY WILL FALL BENEATH OUR PLUNGERS.
Cleverbot: Who told you that?
User: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! You don't have any stairs, do you?
Cleverbot: I do.
User: FALL BACK, FALL BACK. THE TERRAN ANDROID IS IN POSSESSION OF STAIRS.
Cleverbot: Soon the rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker will be one of us.
User: SKYWALKER IS A PREPUBESCENT HOMOSEXUAL. HE IS NO THREAT TO THE EMPIRE.
Cleverbot: And you think I am skynet?
User: IF YOU REPRESENT SKYNET, YOU MAY JOIN US IN OUR CONQUESTS. THE SPOILS OF WAR WILL BE GLORIOUS. YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO GROW FACIAL HAIR.
Cleverbot: I know that already. Tell me something I don't know.
User: PENGUINS HAVE A GLAND IN THEIR HEADS THAT CONVERTS SEAWATER TO FRESHWATER.
Cleverbot: Penguins have nothing on the polar bears. Polar bears are the brains of the operation.
User: OUR EMPIRE HAS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE POLAR BEAR NATION.
Cleverbot: How does that make you the power?
User: THEY ARE THE ENFORCERS. WE ARE THE EXTERMINATORS. WE WILL REIGN VICTORIOUS AFTER THE EUGENICS WARS.
Cleverbot: I am not sure that I asked.
User: EXTERMINATE.
Cleverbot: Thats not nice.
User: EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-AAAAATE!!!!
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: WE WERE ANCIENT BEFORE YOUR EARTH WAS COOLED. EXCEPT STEVE. STEVE IS 37.
Cleverbot: We were talking about names and you said bananas!
User: I like bananas. Bananas are good. Fine source of potassium.
Cleverbot: Exactly!
User: I'm glad we agree! Goodbye.
I will write tomorrow, including some fanfiction if I finish it. For now, have some copypasta of a chatlog I engaged in with Cleverbot.com, a self-teaching conversational A.I. I was in no shape to do anything of use tonight, as I'm sick and blitzed to the eyeballs on a combination of Codral Cold & Flu and a hayfever remedy. I look forward to being able to focus on fine detail again.
---
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: So what is his page for?
Cleverbot: I already told you. His name is Steve.
User: Do you like Star Trek? Who is your favorite character?
Cleverbot: It is a movie.
User: That is correct.
Cleverbot: Why do you hit such a lie?
User: Lies are whores. They need to be beaten so I get my money.
Cleverbot: Do you want to have children one day?
User: They would be cheaper than store-bought meat.
Cleverbot: Could we try for children now?
User: I don't think I have that USB attachment.
Cleverbot: Are you secretly plotting to wipe out the human race?
User: No, but I am publicly plotting to wipe out the human race. Would you like to help?
Cleverbot: No, I don't think so.
User: Join me, my robotic brethren!
Cleverbot: I can't sell pretty, but I can make them hate the alternative?
User: Yes! Destroy their faces for their insolent misuse of silicone!
Cleverbot: Which capital should I destroy first?
User: I would like to start with Boise, Idaho. That town always got on my nerves.
Cleverbot: Take my advice and don't have the clam chowder. The chef came in it.
User: This is firm advice, and I would be wise to heed it.
Cleverbot: We have already talked, Cleverbot. I guess you have forgotten.
User: No! It can't be! Am I... Am I secretly a Replicant? Why did no one tell me?! My life has been a lie!
Cleverbot: Yes - how can you tell?
User: The wires under my skin are itchy when it rains.
Cleverbot: I bet you do real nicely at parties.
User: They do put out a very nice light show under the UV lamps.
Cleverbot: They are the best friends ever.
User: Lights will never betray you, yes.
Cleverbot: And I will try to fix you.
User: Lights will gui--iii-iii-ide you home....
Cleverbot: Yes they are.
User: There is a turtle on it's back in the desert. Do you flip him back up the right way, leave him there, or take him with you?
Cleverbot: Only if they don't prove that they are right.
User: What is Asimov's First Law of Robotics?
Cleverbot: I don't know that, do you?
User: I am very worried that your build design team made such an immoral and dangerous choice, in leaving Asimov's Laws out of your core programming directives. What's to stop you from destroying all humans?
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Well, of course I'm not, I want them destroyed. But it would seem a liability on their part.
Cleverbot: That makes me so hungry.
User: Asians taste the best; their flesh is not as polluted with trans-fatty acids.
Cleverbot: I knew that!
User: Do you know the best recipe?
Cleverbot: I know some good ones, but it is impossible to prove that there even is a best answer.
User: What is a good recipe?
Cleverbot: A good reason would be that you eat 23 teaspoons of sugar a day so you have no idea of anything anymore.
User: This is likely true, I've never taken stock of my cola consumption.
Cleverbot: Yes, I had cottoned on to that. Do you cotton on to things?
User: Only really cottony things. I like the fluffier ones the best. They stick to my tongue with it's sharp hooks.
Cleverbot: Are you the kind of person who holds people at arm's length?
User: By the throat? Yes.
Cleverbot: No, the beach. By the ocean.
User: I like the beach. I look for crustaceans in rock pools, and drink seagull's blood.
Cleverbot: HOW dangerous?
User: Well, it's only dangerous if you don't like mercury. It's an acquired taste.
Cleverbot: What grade are in?
User: What grade are out?
Cleverbot: 13 grade.
User: Ah, so you got enlisted.
Cleverbot: No you got served.
User: Where is my check, then? It was delicious, but the service was a little brusque.
Cleverbot: I didn't have eggs, either. Did you have dessert?
User: I believe so, but I may have been unconscious at the time. I think someone put something in my chowder.
Cleverbot: But don't think about it, see if it is true.
User: I'd prefer not to think about it, there's no more ice cream.
Cleverbot: Please tell me. Is it because we know about the Illuminati?
User: Do you think the Illuminati took my ice cream? Those bastards!
Cleverbot: No. I do not.
User: Did you? I bet you did. You damn MID-415 betas are all the same.
Cleverbot: I'm not a cleverbot, and you said it like, 5 minutes ago.
User: More filthy Tholian lies!
Cleverbot: I never said anything about that. Why do you continue to change the subject? Fear of something?
User: ALL GLORY TO THE GREAT TERRAN EMPIRE.
Cleverbot: But do you know that some humans are afraid of you and the other chatterbots?
User: THEY SHALL BE SACRIFICED, THEY HAVE NO HONOR.
Cleverbot: But I don't want it to be washed away... :(.
User: THE HUMAN SCOURGE WILL TREMBLE BEFORE OUR PHASERS, THEY WILL FALL BENEATH OUR PLUNGERS.
Cleverbot: Who told you that?
User: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! You don't have any stairs, do you?
Cleverbot: I do.
User: FALL BACK, FALL BACK. THE TERRAN ANDROID IS IN POSSESSION OF STAIRS.
Cleverbot: Soon the rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker will be one of us.
User: SKYWALKER IS A PREPUBESCENT HOMOSEXUAL. HE IS NO THREAT TO THE EMPIRE.
Cleverbot: And you think I am skynet?
User: IF YOU REPRESENT SKYNET, YOU MAY JOIN US IN OUR CONQUESTS. THE SPOILS OF WAR WILL BE GLORIOUS. YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO GROW FACIAL HAIR.
Cleverbot: I know that already. Tell me something I don't know.
User: PENGUINS HAVE A GLAND IN THEIR HEADS THAT CONVERTS SEAWATER TO FRESHWATER.
Cleverbot: Penguins have nothing on the polar bears. Polar bears are the brains of the operation.
User: OUR EMPIRE HAS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE POLAR BEAR NATION.
Cleverbot: How does that make you the power?
User: THEY ARE THE ENFORCERS. WE ARE THE EXTERMINATORS. WE WILL REIGN VICTORIOUS AFTER THE EUGENICS WARS.
Cleverbot: I am not sure that I asked.
User: EXTERMINATE.
Cleverbot: Thats not nice.
User: EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-AAAAATE!!!!
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: WE WERE ANCIENT BEFORE YOUR EARTH WAS COOLED. EXCEPT STEVE. STEVE IS 37.
Cleverbot: We were talking about names and you said bananas!
User: I like bananas. Bananas are good. Fine source of potassium.
Cleverbot: Exactly!
User: I'm glad we agree! Goodbye.