(no subject)
Not much has happened since my last entry. Saw Amanda over Thanksgiving, which was fun, as it's been way too long since we hung out. I met Jon's youngest sister and mother and a couple more of his friends, all of whom were very nice and friendly. He also met my mom and grandparents, and it was a really nice week overall.
But I'm having a hard time staying focused on my work. One, I haven't had a valid break since the school year began, and with all the lessons I have to plan, this is killing me. But it's more than that. I'm beginning to squirm a bit under the routine my life has taken. I can tell you exactly what I'm going to be doing any day of the week, with only minimal variation. And it's always the same stuff. Granted, I expected that would be the case when I was an adult...but I always had that pegged for when I was like, 30 or something, and married and living in the suburbs with the 2.5 children and the dog. But not now, when I'm only 22. I figured I'd be doing something exciting when young, something challenging and thrilling, or at the very least, learning something or exploring some place new. But then again, you go to college to get a job, and once you have a job, they expect you to work and show up every day, so maybe routine is just something that happens to everyone.
I guess...I feel almost like something's missing, but I'm not sure what it is. My boyfriend is perfect for me in every way I can conceive. My life goal was to make a difference in society, and I feel like I'm doing that--and with kids who are sweet, polite, and fun if a bit rowdy. I have a lovely apartment, and aside from money to pay back loans, I'm not really lacking anything I desperately want. Most of my friends have moved, but Gina's still here and I see her often. So why am I not satisfied with things? And when did I fall so out of touch with myself that I can't answer that question on my own? Sigh.
But I'm having a hard time staying focused on my work. One, I haven't had a valid break since the school year began, and with all the lessons I have to plan, this is killing me. But it's more than that. I'm beginning to squirm a bit under the routine my life has taken. I can tell you exactly what I'm going to be doing any day of the week, with only minimal variation. And it's always the same stuff. Granted, I expected that would be the case when I was an adult...but I always had that pegged for when I was like, 30 or something, and married and living in the suburbs with the 2.5 children and the dog. But not now, when I'm only 22. I figured I'd be doing something exciting when young, something challenging and thrilling, or at the very least, learning something or exploring some place new. But then again, you go to college to get a job, and once you have a job, they expect you to work and show up every day, so maybe routine is just something that happens to everyone.
I guess...I feel almost like something's missing, but I'm not sure what it is. My boyfriend is perfect for me in every way I can conceive. My life goal was to make a difference in society, and I feel like I'm doing that--and with kids who are sweet, polite, and fun if a bit rowdy. I have a lovely apartment, and aside from money to pay back loans, I'm not really lacking anything I desperately want. Most of my friends have moved, but Gina's still here and I see her often. So why am I not satisfied with things? And when did I fall so out of touch with myself that I can't answer that question on my own? Sigh.