moving forward... letting go...
i did something today that im very proud of. i let go of some baggage that ive been meaning to release for a very long time, but didnt have enough view of the whole picture.
a lot of people think that im still healing wounds from my rship with my ex warren. it is not totally correct. the bottem line between us was that we were better off friends than lovers. and he agreed as well. we were very close friends. warren is the one person who i think knows me the best, and that is important for me to keep him as a friend. the only problem is that i didnt know if he felt the same way. i didnt know if he wanted me as a friend. i never knew what he was truly thinking. was it worth trying to make the friendship work if i didnt know if he wanted to make it work?
i accepted our break up a long time ago, but noone really knew. at the end i still cared a lot about him. people saw this as me still hanging onto old feelings. i was being seen as the 'ex', and in a bad light. which was also partly my fault because i was acting like an asshole a lot of the time. and in time i realized i was still clinging to a lot of emotional baggage that i didnt need.
but before i let it go, i needed to hear, i needed to know that he still cared. i needed to know that he still wanted to be friends. and today i heard the words ive been waiting to hear, even though it was from someone else. but i was relieved. i was happy, and i confronted him.
i told him that i missed him as a friend, and that lately ive been noticing that we have been slowly moving apart. i said the things he needed to hear and that i needed to get off my chest. it was a big relief for me. it was a big step for me. the only thing i would have done different, is to have said these things earlier.
a lot of people think that im still healing wounds from my rship with my ex warren. it is not totally correct. the bottem line between us was that we were better off friends than lovers. and he agreed as well. we were very close friends. warren is the one person who i think knows me the best, and that is important for me to keep him as a friend. the only problem is that i didnt know if he felt the same way. i didnt know if he wanted me as a friend. i never knew what he was truly thinking. was it worth trying to make the friendship work if i didnt know if he wanted to make it work?
i accepted our break up a long time ago, but noone really knew. at the end i still cared a lot about him. people saw this as me still hanging onto old feelings. i was being seen as the 'ex', and in a bad light. which was also partly my fault because i was acting like an asshole a lot of the time. and in time i realized i was still clinging to a lot of emotional baggage that i didnt need.
but before i let it go, i needed to hear, i needed to know that he still cared. i needed to know that he still wanted to be friends. and today i heard the words ive been waiting to hear, even though it was from someone else. but i was relieved. i was happy, and i confronted him.
i told him that i missed him as a friend, and that lately ive been noticing that we have been slowly moving apart. i said the things he needed to hear and that i needed to get off my chest. it was a big relief for me. it was a big step for me. the only thing i would have done different, is to have said these things earlier.