(no subject)
I had a dream, that everything was the way it used to be. I felt wrapping my arm around her. The love. The looks.
In fact, there's a song about that look.
Semisonic's "Secret Smile."
That used to be my secret song about you. Eyes half closed, a small, accidental grin. You didn't mean to, that's just the way it was.
I dreamed of that.
It wasn't really a sweet dream, though. It was a montage. A Life-before-your-eyes image, remembering everything the way it used to be. Comparing it all to today. Remembering everything I did. Admitting my own faults.
It's been a long path, and in the end, I blame myself for having to walk it. But, perhaps, it was what I had to do.
I told myself the other day that everyone deserves heartbreak. I stand by this idea. I have never written as well as I have yearning for something else. I have never been so awake to the world as I have while alone. Only in looking at what I had, what I could have had, what I would have had do I realize that I have grown.
Last night I had a dream that reminded me who I was and how I got there.