(no subject)
Erm, yes, that's the best opening I can think of. Especially for what I'm about to write.
I've been looking back a lot lately. Without even noticing it, sometimes. The mere mention of a novelty desert finally slammed the notice into my head.
I've been wrong. So very wrong.
I gaze back into what I had, then back at what I have and realize one thing is missing.
You.
I have said in the past that I am a lonely person. That I have always been. This remains true. But I never knew just how deep it would go missing that smile.
I realize now that I would fear what would kill us instead of making sure it wouldn't.
I would become paralyzed in fear of being without you. So much so that I pushed you away.
I am an idiot.
I hate what I was, but I am sad with who I am. Someday, and I swear this, I will find my happy medium.
Overall, I just want to say, I am sorry.
I will not ask for you back. I know you won't have me, even if I did. And even if you did, I'm sure I'd manage to make a mess of like it before. Besides, I am sure that your feelings have faded far more than my own.
I am scared with, I am unhappy without. But that is simply the nature of the beast, no?
Anyways, I am sorry. May I never make such mistakes again, for your sake if not mine.
-William