Drabbles of Wrongness - Omi's Little Problems
Inspired by a game of consequences at Squee Fest, and the truly giant cup of coffee the nice man in Ritazza sold me yesterday.
Omi's Little Problems
"Tell Fujimiya to stop eating his surroundings," Nagi said. "He's not planning on giving birth to a damn whale."
Omi mentally rephrased it into something resembling courteous concern and rang the flower shop. The final result sounded rather good, he thought.
"Are you sure that's what Nagi-kun said?" Aya-chan asked. "There were an awful lot of polite verbs in that sentence."
"It's what he meant," Omi said.
"Trust me, that's not what I meant," Nagi said loudly, appearing suddenly behind him.
There was a pause, then, "He's got a good heart," Aya-chan offered.
Yeah, mine, Omi thought in resigned irritation.
* * *
"Here's the deal," Yohji said. "Omi says if I'm stuck paying child support I should have some real responsibility."
"Hn," Aya said, crossing his arms suspiciously.
"So I should be named on the birth certificate. It's not like you can put the orchid down as the father, right?"
Aya looked vaguely interested.
"In fact, if you wanted me to be the custodial parent --"
It was a pity Yohji's notes on regulations about relinquishing children for adoption fell from his pocket right then.
On the other hand, it was pretty funny how easily he could evade Aya under the present circumstances.
* * *
"You are not my new best friend," Nagi said, glaring at Ken and inadvertently making his bottle of Pocari Sweat crumble to dust.
"Please, I'm not that desperate for affection," Ken said, wiping his hands on his jeans. "I'm just liaising between our introvert and Omi's."
"I'm not --"
"An introvert? Please."
" -- Omi's," Nagi said with dignity.
"You're very bad for Omi," Ken said.
"Back. Off," Nagi suggested.
"You're rude, evil and weird. Why the hell did he have to run off and break up with m--"
Too late, he remembered that stupid was not an adjective that applied to Nagi.
* * *
Nagi was sitting on a stool in the karaoke bar, and was also lurking in the shadows, knitting BabyGros.
"I guess you really were cloned," Omi said.
"It's not Yves St Laurent, but it'll have to do," Nagi said, knitting a tiny pistol cosy. "You should do something about your hair."
"And would it hurt to lose some weight?" the other Nagi butted in.
"What?" Omi cried, stung.
"You know I'm the soul of tact," the lurking Nagi said.
"But frankly you could be more sexually attractive," they chorused.
Omi woke with a fright, feeling the distinct urge to diet.
Omi's Little Problems
"Tell Fujimiya to stop eating his surroundings," Nagi said. "He's not planning on giving birth to a damn whale."
Omi mentally rephrased it into something resembling courteous concern and rang the flower shop. The final result sounded rather good, he thought.
"Are you sure that's what Nagi-kun said?" Aya-chan asked. "There were an awful lot of polite verbs in that sentence."
"It's what he meant," Omi said.
"Trust me, that's not what I meant," Nagi said loudly, appearing suddenly behind him.
There was a pause, then, "He's got a good heart," Aya-chan offered.
Yeah, mine, Omi thought in resigned irritation.
* * *
"Here's the deal," Yohji said. "Omi says if I'm stuck paying child support I should have some real responsibility."
"Hn," Aya said, crossing his arms suspiciously.
"So I should be named on the birth certificate. It's not like you can put the orchid down as the father, right?"
Aya looked vaguely interested.
"In fact, if you wanted me to be the custodial parent --"
It was a pity Yohji's notes on regulations about relinquishing children for adoption fell from his pocket right then.
On the other hand, it was pretty funny how easily he could evade Aya under the present circumstances.
* * *
"You are not my new best friend," Nagi said, glaring at Ken and inadvertently making his bottle of Pocari Sweat crumble to dust.
"Please, I'm not that desperate for affection," Ken said, wiping his hands on his jeans. "I'm just liaising between our introvert and Omi's."
"I'm not --"
"An introvert? Please."
" -- Omi's," Nagi said with dignity.
"You're very bad for Omi," Ken said.
"Back. Off," Nagi suggested.
"You're rude, evil and weird. Why the hell did he have to run off and break up with m--"
Too late, he remembered that stupid was not an adjective that applied to Nagi.
* * *
Nagi was sitting on a stool in the karaoke bar, and was also lurking in the shadows, knitting BabyGros.
"I guess you really were cloned," Omi said.
"It's not Yves St Laurent, but it'll have to do," Nagi said, knitting a tiny pistol cosy. "You should do something about your hair."
"And would it hurt to lose some weight?" the other Nagi butted in.
"What?" Omi cried, stung.
"You know I'm the soul of tact," the lurking Nagi said.
"But frankly you could be more sexually attractive," they chorused.
Omi woke with a fright, feeling the distinct urge to diet.