(no subject)
It's raining shit and blood in my mind right now.
It's never been a matter of breaking free.
I've always been free...
Nobody can keep me imprisoned...I'm too strong for them.
Sometimes I'll feel that noose around my neck, or that knife in my hand, but I'm not going to end my suffering.
I'm TOO FUCKING STRONG!
AAAAH!
I feel like a fucking nuclear bomb!
Like at any moment...everything's going to count down, boil over, I'm going to scream!
...
And everything around me will fall into the cracks of my anger. I will be left in the destruction...the crater...my body wrought into a pulp by my own paroxysm.
Despondancy.
I tried to meditate earlier. Tried to ease my mind. But my anxiety and problems were at such an abstract level...I could not purge them. They were too strongly rooted in my mind.
Despondancy...it's become all that I am...all that I feel...I've tried to fight it..to bed it back down but to no avail. It's too overwhelming. Somebody please help me...whipe these tears of fire that punish my cheeks. Clean this blood from my fingers...that penetrate my very soul...
It's never been a matter of breaking free.
I've always been free...
Nobody can keep me imprisoned...I'm too strong for them.
Sometimes I'll feel that noose around my neck, or that knife in my hand, but I'm not going to end my suffering.
I'm TOO FUCKING STRONG!
AAAAH!
I feel like a fucking nuclear bomb!
Like at any moment...everything's going to count down, boil over, I'm going to scream!
...
And everything around me will fall into the cracks of my anger. I will be left in the destruction...the crater...my body wrought into a pulp by my own paroxysm.
Despondancy.
I tried to meditate earlier. Tried to ease my mind. But my anxiety and problems were at such an abstract level...I could not purge them. They were too strongly rooted in my mind.
Despondancy...it's become all that I am...all that I feel...I've tried to fight it..to bed it back down but to no avail. It's too overwhelming. Somebody please help me...whipe these tears of fire that punish my cheeks. Clean this blood from my fingers...that penetrate my very soul...