The Difficulties of Living
Some thoughts that run through my head are a bit illusive. There are memories that flit and flow but don't seem to have a place to land. Feelings that have been experienced, but haven't really found a fair description on which to attach itself. So they zip around and are difficult to catch.
I don't know how to explain this feeling, but it seems like I know a TRUTH about life, but I just can't put it into words. Like having an " A HA" moment in my head that is gone before I can lock it down. I guess that is why journaling or just writing (even though my thoughts might not make sense) is good for me because if I write long enough, that thought might just magically appear on paper.
One of these thoughts is about some of the pain we experience in life. I suppose the physical kind of pain as well as the emotional kind, but I am fortunately more in touch with emotional pain having escaped any major physical issues. And...I had a fairly normal childhood with mostly growing pains to deal with.
But in thinking about those darker moments; like a friend's betrayal or a loss of a relationship, I have realized that these are the moments in life that give me the opportunity to learn and grow. Without the hurt, I wouldn't need to seek answers to my story. The "why did this happen to me" kinds of questions. What in me do I need to change? Why am I not good enough?
I have had glimpses of this thought or feeling during past difficulties, but (as I am probably a slow learner) I am just able to put this into words. The fog over my feelings has lifted just enough for me almost to see the truth about the darker moments of my life. To remember that teenage heartbreak that hurt so much but taught me more about myself. To realize that I still have so much to learn about relationships and how to be a good friend.
One of the best ways to do this is to give these darker feelings up to God to handle and to look at them from a greater distance and do that with love and kindness for myself.
I don't know how to explain this feeling, but it seems like I know a TRUTH about life, but I just can't put it into words. Like having an " A HA" moment in my head that is gone before I can lock it down. I guess that is why journaling or just writing (even though my thoughts might not make sense) is good for me because if I write long enough, that thought might just magically appear on paper.
One of these thoughts is about some of the pain we experience in life. I suppose the physical kind of pain as well as the emotional kind, but I am fortunately more in touch with emotional pain having escaped any major physical issues. And...I had a fairly normal childhood with mostly growing pains to deal with.
But in thinking about those darker moments; like a friend's betrayal or a loss of a relationship, I have realized that these are the moments in life that give me the opportunity to learn and grow. Without the hurt, I wouldn't need to seek answers to my story. The "why did this happen to me" kinds of questions. What in me do I need to change? Why am I not good enough?
I have had glimpses of this thought or feeling during past difficulties, but (as I am probably a slow learner) I am just able to put this into words. The fog over my feelings has lifted just enough for me almost to see the truth about the darker moments of my life. To remember that teenage heartbreak that hurt so much but taught me more about myself. To realize that I still have so much to learn about relationships and how to be a good friend.
One of the best ways to do this is to give these darker feelings up to God to handle and to look at them from a greater distance and do that with love and kindness for myself.