Who do we trust and why?
Making friends, speaks to trust I believe. For most of my life it was difficult to trust enough to feel close to a large number of people. I judged people instead of accepting them and how they were different from me. I still feel that I need proof that someone is trustworthy before I will let them see me. Try to protect from being hurt.
As in the case of my oldest child, many people trust very easily and then don't understand what happened when they realize someone was not authentic or real in what they said or did. You get hurt.
For quite a few years we ran around with a group of people we saw at school events. The more time spent with this almost inseparable group of 20+ couples showed me that their was an immature hierarchy in this group. It was modeled after junior high school, and ultimately was not a good way to make friends. My experience with junior high was that no one knew the meaning of the word trust and it was all about control of the clique. And one of the J H principles was to attack, so subordinates didn't make you seem weak.
I have since found my close relationships in my family, at work (people you interact with every day have a harder time not being authentic,) and with friends who have stuck by me for a long time. People that I can open up with and tell them who I am and they still love me.
I do have relationships with people to who I am not able to give my complete trust and those are very surface type relationships. Friendly, but not intimate. We all need those too.
So why do we trust who we trust? Is it their track record? Do they give us all the right subliminal messages, i.e. body language? Do we require proof? How does the media effect who we trust as far as the wider world? Of course they do. Do we trust someone with similar ideals and prejudices to our own and distrust someone with different motivations? We certainly, lump people into categories. Whether positively or negatively we all stereotype people. How can we not? First impressions are about the only thing we have to go on most of the time. Or, worse than that, is when someone else has colored our impression with a personal viewpoint before we form an opinion.
Trust is what I discussed with my spiritual counselor yesterday. What happened to the X that she does not trust anyone to be there for her..... and that is my therapists opinion of why the X acts like she does. Can I look at X that way? Can I really take her up on her statement and call? Am I up to that challenge? How can I prepare myself to enter that frey?
In the flow of life, sometimes you find yourself in a place where you are forced into growth that is probably needed in your life, but as human beings we try to keep things status quo, and safe by avoiding. Time to grow.
As in the case of my oldest child, many people trust very easily and then don't understand what happened when they realize someone was not authentic or real in what they said or did. You get hurt.
For quite a few years we ran around with a group of people we saw at school events. The more time spent with this almost inseparable group of 20+ couples showed me that their was an immature hierarchy in this group. It was modeled after junior high school, and ultimately was not a good way to make friends. My experience with junior high was that no one knew the meaning of the word trust and it was all about control of the clique. And one of the J H principles was to attack, so subordinates didn't make you seem weak.
I have since found my close relationships in my family, at work (people you interact with every day have a harder time not being authentic,) and with friends who have stuck by me for a long time. People that I can open up with and tell them who I am and they still love me.
I do have relationships with people to who I am not able to give my complete trust and those are very surface type relationships. Friendly, but not intimate. We all need those too.
So why do we trust who we trust? Is it their track record? Do they give us all the right subliminal messages, i.e. body language? Do we require proof? How does the media effect who we trust as far as the wider world? Of course they do. Do we trust someone with similar ideals and prejudices to our own and distrust someone with different motivations? We certainly, lump people into categories. Whether positively or negatively we all stereotype people. How can we not? First impressions are about the only thing we have to go on most of the time. Or, worse than that, is when someone else has colored our impression with a personal viewpoint before we form an opinion.
Trust is what I discussed with my spiritual counselor yesterday. What happened to the X that she does not trust anyone to be there for her..... and that is my therapists opinion of why the X acts like she does. Can I look at X that way? Can I really take her up on her statement and call? Am I up to that challenge? How can I prepare myself to enter that frey?
In the flow of life, sometimes you find yourself in a place where you are forced into growth that is probably needed in your life, but as human beings we try to keep things status quo, and safe by avoiding. Time to grow.