One of the things you might do.redbaydreamerMarch 6 2008, 11:47:58 UTC
When the kids are with you talk about your therapy and how much it has helped you to deal with "stuff" in your life. Not suggesting it for them, just comments about an experience you had or something. It might plant the seed that when it is their decision, they might look for that help. I would think especially since M is not inclined to go that route and obviously neither is R, hearing that it has been helpful to someone else of influence in their life might be good. They may not have the chance to choose that until they are in college, but if those seeds are planted it might make a difference. I talk all the time about therapy and how helpful it has been to me. I have become comfortable with it and what it has done for me. I have been surprised when someone has come to me and asked who I saw, because they thought it might be helpful to them.
There may not be much you can do right now, but if the kids see that their grandma is a normal person and maybe it was therapy that helped her stay that way, they might see it as an option for themselves. If this is something that R learned from her Dad, I would hope that there is a way to break the cycle. It sounds like L understands what is going on and is consciously coping in each situation. Makes you wonder if the others have a clue. That is even sadder, to be under that influence and not recognize it for what it is.
Children just want to be loved and will go to great lengths to do what they need to do to get love. It is my interpretation that part of the reason Mom is struggling so much now is that when she was at home with her parents and sisters she played a certain roll and Dad freed her from that roll. Now that she has lost that anchor, she is not sure who she is or how she fits in the world. I think she struggled for her mother's love and attention. It would be interesting to get her to really talk about it. She just doesn't talk about her childhood much at all. Well, I digress.
There may not be much you can do right now, but if the kids see that their grandma is a normal person and maybe it was therapy that helped her stay that way, they might see it as an option for themselves. If this is something that R learned from her Dad, I would hope that there is a way to break the cycle. It sounds like L understands what is going on and is consciously coping in each situation. Makes you wonder if the others have a clue. That is even sadder, to be under that influence and not recognize it for what it is.
Children just want to be loved and will go to great lengths to do what they need to do to get love. It is my interpretation that part of the reason Mom is struggling so much now is that when she was at home with her parents and sisters she played a certain roll and Dad freed her from that roll. Now that she has lost that anchor, she is not sure who she is or how she fits in the world. I think she struggled for her mother's love and attention. It would be interesting to get her to really talk about it. She just doesn't talk about her childhood much at all. Well, I digress.
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