On the wagon
So since the rest of the power-squad has decided to start posting here I thought I would jump on the bandwagon too. I've been meaning to get back to writing but just haven't. I feel like I have nothing to say anymore. I am unhappy about that though so now I will make it my quest to write in this at least a couple of times a week and try to come up with something to say in the mean time.
I had a thought today while driving home. I was listening to this mix cd and that Linkin Park / Jay Z song came on. It feels weird to me right now because I am happy and content. I listen to a song like that and remember how much Linkin Park used to mean to me. All those bands did. The angst and anger of teenager-hood all come back. I sometimes miss it because right now I don't seem to have strong feelings about anything. I get excited occasionally and pissed off in a mild annoyed way all too often but nothing like then. I don't know why I wish for overwhelming crippling emotion but I guess I just don't know how to be ok all the time.
I have been trying to be more connected to my life, more present, but I still feel like I take a back seat a lot of the time. I'm the person at the party taking pictures who's never in the pictures. I am trying though.
I am acting as Dana's publishing manager this summer. We are about to send a storm of paper all over the country. Little literary magazines beware! We mean business.
Dana has decided to be a locksmith. I like that she has a direction, and I think it'll be neat to never have to worry about losing my keys or whatever. Plus she can help make our house secure and make me feel safe. I like it. We'll both make about the same money( $30,000 a year). That is more money than I can imagine right now. I hope we cna stay living lean like we do now and save it up.
It is our eleven month anniversary today. I am excited about our 12 month. I have been working on her present diligently this week. I have another one in my head but we will see how it pans out. I love her so much.
Well I am off to watch a terrible movie for free. Having a theater manager fiance has its perks!
Out.
I had a thought today while driving home. I was listening to this mix cd and that Linkin Park / Jay Z song came on. It feels weird to me right now because I am happy and content. I listen to a song like that and remember how much Linkin Park used to mean to me. All those bands did. The angst and anger of teenager-hood all come back. I sometimes miss it because right now I don't seem to have strong feelings about anything. I get excited occasionally and pissed off in a mild annoyed way all too often but nothing like then. I don't know why I wish for overwhelming crippling emotion but I guess I just don't know how to be ok all the time.
I have been trying to be more connected to my life, more present, but I still feel like I take a back seat a lot of the time. I'm the person at the party taking pictures who's never in the pictures. I am trying though.
I am acting as Dana's publishing manager this summer. We are about to send a storm of paper all over the country. Little literary magazines beware! We mean business.
Dana has decided to be a locksmith. I like that she has a direction, and I think it'll be neat to never have to worry about losing my keys or whatever. Plus she can help make our house secure and make me feel safe. I like it. We'll both make about the same money( $30,000 a year). That is more money than I can imagine right now. I hope we cna stay living lean like we do now and save it up.
It is our eleven month anniversary today. I am excited about our 12 month. I have been working on her present diligently this week. I have another one in my head but we will see how it pans out. I love her so much.
Well I am off to watch a terrible movie for free. Having a theater manager fiance has its perks!
Out.