hello
So it has been a weird since my last post.
To sum it all up, I have God but my life still sucks.
I got into a huge figth with my mom, it is to the point where I hate living here. I don't fit in with my mom or my sister.
My mom said some really hurtful things to me, when she was taking me to church, and I didn't put my seat belt on, I figured if we got into a car accident I didn't want to live through it... I know sounds suicidal, and maybe it is, I am just very confused.
Mary left... It seems like now, when I need her the most, she is leaving... Sucks, but that's life I guess I have to learn to get used to it.... Or not.
The lock-in was so great, but it made me so depressed. There is so much cruelness and hurt in the world... I mean that was just our drama class with 20 people, but what about in the world... I YI I...
I have been hanging out with Mikelle a lot which is a plus! She makes me so happy.
Spit does too. And DUH Schwarz. But yeah, I miss my dad.
I just feel like crying. Today I walked around after school by myself, and it was so great. I needed to get away from people... I get anxiety and just annoyed really fast...
I like to be alone and think, especially when I am like this, because I could say things and do things I don't mean to.
Claire has been really weird too... I don't know this whole thing with "Peener" is starting to get to me... I wont say anymore, because I'd rather tell her to her face.
Also there is this boy, and I got myself into another one of those stupid things... he is really really into this other girl, but I really really like him, and he "cares" for me, and I dunno I just got myself in too deep when I knew what would happen. I always do this, why? I HAVE NO IDEA...
There is still one relationship I haven't screwed up yet with a boy and I hope that lasts... but I have a feeling it wont for very much longer.
Well I think I am going to stop being emo...
The "On the edge" retreat is this weekend! I am so excited to pass the word of god onto others! I am actually a team member! I am so excited. I talked to Ruth today about some of my emo problems. and she gives such great advice, I could listen to her all night. She made me feel better about some things.
But anywho I am tired... <3 Butts.
PS OPEN HOUSE IS GOING TO ROCK THE HIZ-OUSE!
PSS WHO IN THE HELL SINGS WISHFUL THINKING?
To sum it all up, I have God but my life still sucks.
I got into a huge figth with my mom, it is to the point where I hate living here. I don't fit in with my mom or my sister.
My mom said some really hurtful things to me, when she was taking me to church, and I didn't put my seat belt on, I figured if we got into a car accident I didn't want to live through it... I know sounds suicidal, and maybe it is, I am just very confused.
Mary left... It seems like now, when I need her the most, she is leaving... Sucks, but that's life I guess I have to learn to get used to it.... Or not.
The lock-in was so great, but it made me so depressed. There is so much cruelness and hurt in the world... I mean that was just our drama class with 20 people, but what about in the world... I YI I...
I have been hanging out with Mikelle a lot which is a plus! She makes me so happy.
Spit does too. And DUH Schwarz. But yeah, I miss my dad.
I just feel like crying. Today I walked around after school by myself, and it was so great. I needed to get away from people... I get anxiety and just annoyed really fast...
I like to be alone and think, especially when I am like this, because I could say things and do things I don't mean to.
Claire has been really weird too... I don't know this whole thing with "Peener" is starting to get to me... I wont say anymore, because I'd rather tell her to her face.
Also there is this boy, and I got myself into another one of those stupid things... he is really really into this other girl, but I really really like him, and he "cares" for me, and I dunno I just got myself in too deep when I knew what would happen. I always do this, why? I HAVE NO IDEA...
There is still one relationship I haven't screwed up yet with a boy and I hope that lasts... but I have a feeling it wont for very much longer.
Well I think I am going to stop being emo...
The "On the edge" retreat is this weekend! I am so excited to pass the word of god onto others! I am actually a team member! I am so excited. I talked to Ruth today about some of my emo problems. and she gives such great advice, I could listen to her all night. She made me feel better about some things.
But anywho I am tired... <3 Butts.
PS OPEN HOUSE IS GOING TO ROCK THE HIZ-OUSE!
PSS WHO IN THE HELL SINGS WISHFUL THINKING?