Life, the Uselessness, and Everything...
Were it not for life,I'd be able to rest...each night as i get ready for bed, my mind is bombarded with thoughts, issues, worries, jitters, and all other manners of mental plagues which infect me to no end...each night is sleep only to awaken exhausted...awakening to find myself alone in my own home...unable to connect with my blood relatives...each day more maddening than the last...
So I'm deliberating on whether or not i want to just stand by and watch my life turn to crap, because anytime i try to make a change for the better, then something sweeps right by me and leaves me for dead on the side of the road. I'm trying so very hard to keep from just exploding on people...even my best friends that i've never had a problem with...people in the choir, people at church, at work, at home...i hate involving people...but at the same time i hate being alone...so it's pretty much a catch22...i can't solve it on my own, but i can't involve my friends...
I'm constantly questioning myself...questioning why i let myself become so involved with people who are in relationships...the thing is that people gravitate to the others who possess abilities and thing that we want to have...the mistake most people make is when they become covetous...