Bonaparte Had No Friends.
In my 30 years in the workforce I have learned a few things, one of them is this. You cannot be an affective manager and be best friends with the people working under your supervision. End of freakin’ discussion! Well, not actually. I’ll ramble on for a few hundred words saying what I just stated in seventeen. It’s what I do.
Sometimes you must get tough with misbehaving employees or tell your subordinates what do when you know damn well they’ll hate you for giving them that godforsaken slave labor. You are such an asshole! You would never do this to a true friend. Napoleon could not order his army to march towards near certain death in the Russian winter if he was afraid they might not like him. Being the commander often means being unpopular even if you're really a nice guy.
The bossman started his business 30 years ago. He’s a good man, intelligent, successful, compensates his employees well and is generally a fair boss. He’s also a meddler, looks over your shoulder constantly and tends to be condescending. I hate that but taken as a whole, which is a necessary and fair caculation, he’s okay to work for and one of the better employers I’ve had.
He tries to be funny by joking with the monkeys in his employ but it never goes over well. No one likes a sarcastic comment from their boss even if they suspect he’s only kidding because they never really know for certain. I've witnessed quite a few uncomfortabe laughs at the bossman's jokes. It’s unnerving when the man sticks it to you with a poorly timed quip, right after you screwed up. You start wondering, “Was that friendly banter trying to disarm the tension of my mistake or is he fucking with my head because he's pissed?”
The boss is very lenient. I blogged about ‘Double Secret Probation’ and the misdeeds of one lousy coworker but the truth is we have several 'deadbeats' in our company who take full advantage of the bossman’s look-the-other-way policies. We have serious issues that affect our team and he does nothing. I suspect because he does not like confrontation nor does he want to be perceived as a prick.
Number 2 has been working for the bossman since he was 20 years old. He’s the Shop Manager responsible for coordinating large scale projects, dealing with inter-departmental issues and handling customer service. Number 2 is the son the bossman never had. Because he literally grew up in the shop he’s stuck between wanting to be ‘one of the boys’ and wanting the respect of being the little bossman. It doesn't work that way.
He’s a good guy, technically savvy, dedicated but not very organized. He runs around like Chicken Little screaming “The sky is falling” when most of the crisis’ are of his own making. I refer to him as the Shop Mis-manager which he really hates. We have a sometimes strained relationship because I say what’s on my mind and chaos management really brings out the worst in me. We get along okay but he does not handle my version of the truth very well.
With the big bossman trying to be the joker, not running a tight ship and Number 2 caught in limbo being the regular guy trying to supervise people he considers friends our company has all kinds of double standards, lapses in leadership, behavioral and morale issues. Sometimes you have to choose between being the boss or being a friend. You can’t be both. I don't want my boss or the shop manager to be assholes but their disorganization is making an already stressful job more difficult than it needs to be.
I suspect Napoleon occasionally rounded up a few French Army deadbeats for firing squad practice. Monkey Tech needs that kind of leadership. I have a few names I'd like to offer as cannon fodder. "Would you like a blindfold, a cigarette?"