Catching Up With Life
Tonight is going to be a tough one. I seem to alternate between having extremely busy nights and slow nights with too much time on my hands. The busy nights outnumber the slow ones by a fair margin. I find myself on my feet too many hours. My legs hurt. I rarely have a night with just the right amount of responsibility. This may be my own damn fault.
I've had a few confrontions with the Bossman regarding work issues. I mentioned in previous posts my drama with daylight people. That is mostly resolved. The disagreements with Big Daddy will not be washed away. I believe I have worn out my welcome at Monkeytech. The head honcho is simply annoyed by any problem raised by me. I say what's on my mind but he prefers Yes Men and people who go-with-the-flow regardless of how chaotic our shop can be.
I'm a can-do guy but if unnessessary shit happens making it needlessly difficult for me to do my job ..... I will not remain silent. I want to be productive, especially since I'm working this stupid shift with some delusion that I'm actually appreciated for helping 'the team' by doing so.
It's not in my nature to feel walked on and take it without standing up for myself. He sees this as complaining, I see it as an attempt to resolve problems in the workplace. For the dozenth time in the past year I will say..... "I believe it's time for me to move on."
The reason tonight will be tough is lack of sleep. Yesterday, I think that was Thursday, I woke up too early in the afternoon getting only three hours. I barely made it to 5am. I fell asleep too early this morning and woke at 11am. I'm exhausted but not sleepy. At 7pm I will arrive at work having been awake eight hours facing a ten hour shift with seven hours sleep in the past 48 hours. Yikes.
This will probably fuck my weekend, AGAIN, meaning I won't get things done that need to be done or spend enough time with my people.
One of many things I miss while working the graveyard is blogging. Today I played catch up visiting my friend's pages, replying when feeling it, and seeing what you're all up to these days. This week I don't lack writing ideas. I lack writing energy. I've started posts but never finish them.
I have a new draft about 'live music' inspired by your interest in the JT & CK tour. I have written thoughts about 'the Celtics eliminating the Cleveland Lebrons' and the media made drama the millionaire kid is dealing with. I had to wait until the series concluded as not to jinx my team. I have a blog piece about 'the words we don't say' to spare the feelings of others. That one is about my son. There's a long rambler in the works about my 'balancing the conservative, liberal and independent factions' in my politically & socially conscious brain. I have a draft about 'legalization' I started more than a month ago when this vampire life began.
It was nice to catch up with your blogs. Maybe someday I'll catch up with my own. Inspiration comes like waves crashing the shore. It's here long enough to get thoughts through my fingers, but not long enough to finish the job. Waves return to where they came. Some touch the sand again, others remain at sea.
I'm tired of being tired. I don't think it's worth it because the people I'm doing this for have ZERO appreciation for effort I'm making. I want to live my life.... work included .....and have time to do the things I love when I'm not working. I need to catch up with life instead of working and sleeping it away. When I'm awake I'm tired, not living.
There will be no proof-read-editing-rewriting-process today. Just post it.