I don't care?

[dadadadio]

About 20 hours after flinging my poo-filled email at Hermanos I relieved him at the end of his shift. Nothing was said. I could feel the tension. He was pissed. Once again I found a project had sat much of the day.

"I think it's bullshit this MTA project sits idle all day when you have help but I'm capable to keep it running at night when I'm alone

Comments

[openscarf]

Since I've been out of that world for 4 months now and can look at it from further away, I see that it's like wanting the weather to change, it ain't gonna change. Its not the way humans operate in the business world. Especially in places where no fresh ideas can squeeze thru the caulked over cracks or no new employees are hired. Everyone is just doing what they need to survive, the same way, at a mimimal level. What's the incentive to do more? What are the consequences of doing less? I just finished Revolutionary Road, this shit's been going on since the invention of the cubicle, at least.

I had a friend at my ex-work (and she's an ex-friend, fittingly) in the IT department. Of course she didn't do what you do, but she made herself very available, above and beyond the call of duty, 24/7, took great pride in it and never ceased to be pissed off that her peer slackers didn't give what she did. For as long as I've known her, she has complained bitterly about the others not pulling their weight.

I think you just have to work it out internally; what are you willing to give? You're doing "extra" work. I think it either has to give you satisfaction regardless of what the other chimps are doing or else take it down a notch and not give up 7 weeks of daylight.

Why not at least research other companies in your city? Do you have former colleagues at other places? Put a profile on LinkedIn...put some energy out there to bring in opportunites.

I know what it's like to be stuck somewhere and feel too deflated to do anything about it except want others to change. The Universe is nudging you my friend.

I'm sorry you're experiencing all of it. It sucks.

....sigh

[dadadadio]

I don't see myself as doing 'extra' work. I'm doing what I'm capable of. I resent that others do less leaving me with more to do sometimes resulting in stressful nights of running around like a retarded monkey.

I have no problem being busy. It makes the hours pass and before I know it 5 AM is here.

I know what you mean by the weather and I agree nothing will change as long as our company culture remains as it is.

Back east I worked for two companies with profit sharing programs. There were fewer deadbeats in those companies and when they popped up other employees were more willing to call them out. "Your slacking cost everyone money."

As stressful as this is .... I know I'll come out in the other side being better for doing the work and speaking up. It just won't be pretty.

I must go to bed now. This has been a wierd day. I slept from 2:30 to 6:30. I watched a movie then did 3 hours of yard and pool work I did not get done yesterday. Now I must sleep a few hours before cooking dinner.