Are people really this stupid?
There are days when working in a computer lab and being an English tutor makes me want to pull my hair out.
1. If your flash drive isn't working, and you can almost pull it apart, or it looks like it's been throuh hell and back, it's time for you to get a new flash drive instead of asking me why it won't work on the computer. The same goes for when you have to jiggle it to get the computer to recognize that there's a flash drive in the usb port you plugged it into. Oh, and if it's a keychain flash drive, TAKE IF OFF OF YOUR HEAVY KEY CHAIN before plugging it into the usb port - of course it's not going to work if it's halfway out because of gravity pulling your heavy ass keychain to the floor!
2. When something doesn't print DON'T PUSH THE DAMN PRINT BUTTON 50 TIMES. When something doesn't work, you don't keep pushing buttons until it does, you get someone to fix it! So much paper is WASTED when some stupid idiot pushes the print button a gazillion times. And for the LOVE OF GOD, check BOTH printers before coming to me and saying that your document didn't print out. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many people do this. We have TWO printers in OBVIOUS places in the lab. CHECK THEM BOTH FOR YOUR PRINTOUT!
3. Oh how I hate, hate, HATE online courses. No, wait, it's the people who decide to take online courses. Why? Because people who don't know the first thing about writing a paper or what is going on in the damn course take these courses, and I have to babystep them through the instructions they printed out, or try to interpret what the teacher wants without an assignment sheet! If you are going to take an online course that involves paper writing, be sure you can write a paper first! And OMG DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO COME INTO THE LAB AND ASK ME WHAT YOUR ONLINE ASSIGNMENT MEANS! I am not a fucking miracle worker, and you should ask your teacher on the DAY the paper was assigned EXACTLY what the teacher wanted you to do, not show up with no assignment sheet and ask me how to do a paper for a class like philosophy that I have NO FUCKING IDEA about! For God's sake, take an ACTUAL class where you can ask your professor what the assignment means IN PERSON!
4. I don't know what else we can do besides tattooing it on your eyeballs, but the print maximum is 10 PAGES A DAY PER PERSON! And no, you can't print out ten pages for you and ten pages each for six of your buddies at once. And every freaking teacher that posts a powerpoint presentation should instruct their students on how to properly print it out six slides to a page instead of leaving it up to the lab staff to do this! I so HATE THAT!
5. Another thing I can't stand is teachers with weird requirements for their papers, like no page numbers or last names on the first two pages (including the title page). You'll have to figure out how to do what the freaky teacher wants on your own, and the teacher shouldn't have weird ass requirements like that in the first place!
6. I appreciate that you're working hard doing your reading program on the computer, but bugging the fuck out of me 50 times in one day to get signatures is annoying! I don't think your teacher wanted you to read 50 books a day for your class! Even worse is that stupid teacher requires a signature, which is just nuts when the lab is busy. I HATE THAT RULE.
7. This is more of a tutor thing than anything else. Do NOT walk into the lab and ask me to revise your paper, or even worse (my fucking FAVORITE), ask if you can leave your paper with me and then come back later. I AM NOT AN EDITING SERVICE! I don't get paid to rewrite your paper. Fill out the damn yellow sheet, AND PUT YOUR TEACHER'S FULL NAME ON IT (I swear, people who don't know their teacher's name should be shot), and then we will go over the paper TOGETHER. That's how tutoring WORKS!
8. And for the love of GOD, you teachers who keep passing people into Comp I who can't put two words together that make sense, you should be SHOT too. I get MIGRAINES from helping people with papers that are nearly impossible to read because they can't make a complete sentence to save their lives. DON'T LET THEM PASS INTO AN ESSAY CLASS IF THEY CAN'T WRITE A SENTENCE!
9. I am not a computer tech. If your video won't play or a microsoft program won't save double spacing there is not a damn thing in hell I can do about it. I am an English tutor who works in a computer lab for crying out loud!
10. I swear, even at the community college level, there should be IQ requirements including knowing how to use a computer and things that go with a computer, like flash drives, before being allowed to take a class! How do you think you are going to get through a class without knowing how to do these things? Sometimes the stupidity of people simply amazes me!
Okay, I feel better now. But I swear, the past two days the stupidity level has gone through the roof! I can't wait to leave the lab today, it cannot come soon enough...
1. If your flash drive isn't working, and you can almost pull it apart, or it looks like it's been throuh hell and back, it's time for you to get a new flash drive instead of asking me why it won't work on the computer. The same goes for when you have to jiggle it to get the computer to recognize that there's a flash drive in the usb port you plugged it into. Oh, and if it's a keychain flash drive, TAKE IF OFF OF YOUR HEAVY KEY CHAIN before plugging it into the usb port - of course it's not going to work if it's halfway out because of gravity pulling your heavy ass keychain to the floor!
2. When something doesn't print DON'T PUSH THE DAMN PRINT BUTTON 50 TIMES. When something doesn't work, you don't keep pushing buttons until it does, you get someone to fix it! So much paper is WASTED when some stupid idiot pushes the print button a gazillion times. And for the LOVE OF GOD, check BOTH printers before coming to me and saying that your document didn't print out. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many people do this. We have TWO printers in OBVIOUS places in the lab. CHECK THEM BOTH FOR YOUR PRINTOUT!
3. Oh how I hate, hate, HATE online courses. No, wait, it's the people who decide to take online courses. Why? Because people who don't know the first thing about writing a paper or what is going on in the damn course take these courses, and I have to babystep them through the instructions they printed out, or try to interpret what the teacher wants without an assignment sheet! If you are going to take an online course that involves paper writing, be sure you can write a paper first! And OMG DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO COME INTO THE LAB AND ASK ME WHAT YOUR ONLINE ASSIGNMENT MEANS! I am not a fucking miracle worker, and you should ask your teacher on the DAY the paper was assigned EXACTLY what the teacher wanted you to do, not show up with no assignment sheet and ask me how to do a paper for a class like philosophy that I have NO FUCKING IDEA about! For God's sake, take an ACTUAL class where you can ask your professor what the assignment means IN PERSON!
4. I don't know what else we can do besides tattooing it on your eyeballs, but the print maximum is 10 PAGES A DAY PER PERSON! And no, you can't print out ten pages for you and ten pages each for six of your buddies at once. And every freaking teacher that posts a powerpoint presentation should instruct their students on how to properly print it out six slides to a page instead of leaving it up to the lab staff to do this! I so HATE THAT!
5. Another thing I can't stand is teachers with weird requirements for their papers, like no page numbers or last names on the first two pages (including the title page). You'll have to figure out how to do what the freaky teacher wants on your own, and the teacher shouldn't have weird ass requirements like that in the first place!
6. I appreciate that you're working hard doing your reading program on the computer, but bugging the fuck out of me 50 times in one day to get signatures is annoying! I don't think your teacher wanted you to read 50 books a day for your class! Even worse is that stupid teacher requires a signature, which is just nuts when the lab is busy. I HATE THAT RULE.
7. This is more of a tutor thing than anything else. Do NOT walk into the lab and ask me to revise your paper, or even worse (my fucking FAVORITE), ask if you can leave your paper with me and then come back later. I AM NOT AN EDITING SERVICE! I don't get paid to rewrite your paper. Fill out the damn yellow sheet, AND PUT YOUR TEACHER'S FULL NAME ON IT (I swear, people who don't know their teacher's name should be shot), and then we will go over the paper TOGETHER. That's how tutoring WORKS!
8. And for the love of GOD, you teachers who keep passing people into Comp I who can't put two words together that make sense, you should be SHOT too. I get MIGRAINES from helping people with papers that are nearly impossible to read because they can't make a complete sentence to save their lives. DON'T LET THEM PASS INTO AN ESSAY CLASS IF THEY CAN'T WRITE A SENTENCE!
9. I am not a computer tech. If your video won't play or a microsoft program won't save double spacing there is not a damn thing in hell I can do about it. I am an English tutor who works in a computer lab for crying out loud!
10. I swear, even at the community college level, there should be IQ requirements including knowing how to use a computer and things that go with a computer, like flash drives, before being allowed to take a class! How do you think you are going to get through a class without knowing how to do these things? Sometimes the stupidity of people simply amazes me!
Okay, I feel better now. But I swear, the past two days the stupidity level has gone through the roof! I can't wait to leave the lab today, it cannot come soon enough...