One of the ways you can tell you're arguing poorly about an issue is when people who have little opinion on the issue read your argument and hope things go against you just for spite. I confess to the latter with a recent post on Google+ by "Siderea B", a post which has been floating through my social circles. There are quite a lot of these posts
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So if adherents of a particular philosophy cause substantial harm to their fellow people, I don't think we are right to sit by and watch. The threshold for 'substantial harm' is, of course, a difficult one. But I think it is not unreasonable -- and here is where the concept of 'privilege' begins to earn its keep -- for me to say that, if an institution systematically harms people who are already disadvantaged relative to the average or the majority, I should recognize that I am not going to be good at judging the magnitude of that harm, because I'm not the one suffering it; and in fact evidence suggests that I'm likely to systematically underestimate it. So to compensate I ought to recognize when a particular institution, or practice, or attitude, or philosophy tends to systematically harm the already-disadvantaged, and oppose it.
As it turns out, circling back to the original topic at hand, there are good arguments that compulsory display of legal names indeed systematically harms the already-disadvantaged, which means I think I am ethically bound to oppose it.
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In the name of protecting worldview-diversity, I still want to protect and fence the idea of letting people define terms as they will (provided no malice), over that of demanding people use some framework of terms that will theoretically make everyone most comfortable (or meet unnamed other values, like some notion of freedom).
I think I see where you're coming from, and suspect this is (a big part of) the root of our differences on this matter.
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And as to what I am asking of Google, let's also be clear -- I'm not asking for a change of framework or perspective, I'm asking for a change of concrete action. We would not say -- at least I would not, and I suspect you would not -- that it is inappropriate for the government to require that commercial businesses be willing to do business with black people. I don't know whether you would call that a demand of change of framework, but if you would I'm pretty sure you'd call it one with a strong social interest. I'm not, in this case, even suggesting that anybody require or demand anything; I am just suggesting that a particular policy, enacted by a particular private enterprise, is socially harmful, in the same way -- though not to the same magnitude -- that the choice of a private enterprise not to do business with black people is socially harmful; and I'm suggesting that we should oppose that policy on those grounds, and use the tools within our power to attempt to change or prevent that policy.
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I generally see the harm of coexisting with frameworks of thought laid out by others as a necessary consequence of living in a world where not everyone thinks the same way. That, and the recognition that it's often hard/impossible to form frameworks that will please everyone, make my bar very high for the strength of argument required to do more than request a different policy.
I'll add that I think it's a necessary life lesson that we don't get to entirely shape how others see us, and that even if we really want to be seen a certain way, we must coexist with others who don't choose to validate our identity. At least moderate flexibility on this front is required in life, and people who go to great lengths to push others to recognise them as they see themselves are often being all-elbows in their demands on the worldviews of others.
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