because I shouldn't say this to anyone here

[dachelsinator]

I got scared. I got scared and ran away. Literally, I just left. Neither of us is on the same page, but we don't have the words or the courage to say what page that is. I don't think I know what I want. I don't think I can live up to what he wants. I think I'm going to break his heart, whatever I do, and last night I saw just a little bit of what that is like. I left. And that was possibly the worst thing I could have done.

This is me, stumbling around like in an idiot in a world that is totally unfamiliar to me. Why stay here? What tips the scale? How much do you overlook?

I'm a coward. I'm selfish. I'm mean.

I don't know where to go from here.