The pain in my mouth, and the warmth in my heart...
So yesterday I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out... it sucked...
but it wasnt the operation that sucked, I was knocked out and tons of novacaine... it's when the novacaine started to wear off, I thought "hey, I don't wanna get addicted to this pain medicine, so lets not take any" hahahahahahahahahaha big mistake... most painful 30 minutes or so in my life... as soon as the pain go to unbearable levels, I pretty much inhaled my pain medication... took about 30 minutes to kick in, and then I went to sleep... being bed ridden for the first few hours unable to stand after waking up, I read "1 litre of tears" and I'm almost 1/3 the way through... it's so much better than the drama, because in the drama, theres a lot of drama, and every episode or so, they have a quote from her diaries... the book is her diaries from age 14 to 21, so it's practically FILLED TO THE BRIM with deep insightful things about life... some stuff I myself have contemplated, and some new stuff she really made me think about...
starting the book, I decided to highlight any good quotes that I could use in my next speech for the speech competition when I come back from japan... but after the first 20 pages, I was practically highlighting at least one thing on each page...
when I get around to it, I'll translate some of them and post them up...
It's an amazing book, I am also reading "Last Letter" a collection of 58 letters that Aya sent to her best friends before she died... that is also a great book, and it's amazing to see what kind of person Aya was... my mom walked in on me and I was crying, and she was like "are you ok, you need another ice pack?!" and I was like "no, it's just this book"
one thing Aya says so many times throughout the book is "Even if it's a little bit, with this body of mine being so weak, I want to be useful to someone. I want to have purpose. So I have to do my best, especially studying, seeing as that is all I can do now. In order to be useful to someone, I have to do my best." and I think to my self how much of a success she was... a 16 year old girl saying so many life changing things, trying her best to scratch out her words on a notebook with a marker...
It's an amazing book, I suggest you all learn Japanese and read it... (I'd say I'm at a point where I understand 90% of it, so definitely something I will re-read as I get better at Japanese)
Other than that, lately, I've been talking to this friend of mine a lot lately, her name is "Kaori" but everyone calls her "K" so I thought her real name was "Kei". Anywho, we've been talking on AIM and doing video chats on MSN almost everyday now, even after getting my wisdom teeth out... we hung out on saturday (sunday at 1am actually) and practically spent the whole night together, and she ended up spending the night (I can now say I've slept with 4 girls and am still a virgin.) cuz she lives in Flagstaff, and I didn't want her to crash and die of tiredness... we basically ended up just talking for hours, and then we finally got some sleep at like 11am, til like 2pm... and she went home. We've been talking a lot recently, and we're already like best friends, it feels like we've known each other forever... speaking to her in Japanese also feels so natural with her... she's amazingly good at english too, so we switch back and forth when the mood hits us or when we talk about an english article or something...
She's trying to get a job in America as a Japanese teacher, which is kinda the opposite of my plans (which means we're kinda chasing after the same dream really)... but I guess that means that even if we did decide to go out or anything somewhere along the line, would it go anywhere? She might even get accepted at a charter school in Oregon...
Whenever I find someone I see myself having a happy life with, things in the future don't ever end up showing up the way I would want them... same with Genna, same with anyone I guess... I guess waiting til Japan to find a nice girl is my only option... if I want to live in Japan that is...
I learned from my mistakes though, throwing a relationship away just because you can't be together forever = a lot of heart ache for both people... and while it's too late for me and Genna I guess, I am gonna make sure to spend lots of quality time with Kaori whenever we can...
Something to shock you all, in the meantime... she's 25... 6 years older than me. although she still looks like she's about my age if not a little bit younger.
I've also been missing Hannah a lot lately, my kiseki no hana... I wonder how cali is treating her? this one singer really reminds me of Hannah, and I saw her win an award on the MTV music video awards Japan the other day, and she looked ESPECIALLY like Hannah... I miss my nee-chan...
anywho... my face is covered by a warm ice pack now... time to change it maybe...
quite the update...
but it wasnt the operation that sucked, I was knocked out and tons of novacaine... it's when the novacaine started to wear off, I thought "hey, I don't wanna get addicted to this pain medicine, so lets not take any" hahahahahahahahahaha big mistake... most painful 30 minutes or so in my life... as soon as the pain go to unbearable levels, I pretty much inhaled my pain medication... took about 30 minutes to kick in, and then I went to sleep... being bed ridden for the first few hours unable to stand after waking up, I read "1 litre of tears" and I'm almost 1/3 the way through... it's so much better than the drama, because in the drama, theres a lot of drama, and every episode or so, they have a quote from her diaries... the book is her diaries from age 14 to 21, so it's practically FILLED TO THE BRIM with deep insightful things about life... some stuff I myself have contemplated, and some new stuff she really made me think about...
starting the book, I decided to highlight any good quotes that I could use in my next speech for the speech competition when I come back from japan... but after the first 20 pages, I was practically highlighting at least one thing on each page...
when I get around to it, I'll translate some of them and post them up...
It's an amazing book, I am also reading "Last Letter" a collection of 58 letters that Aya sent to her best friends before she died... that is also a great book, and it's amazing to see what kind of person Aya was... my mom walked in on me and I was crying, and she was like "are you ok, you need another ice pack?!" and I was like "no, it's just this book"
one thing Aya says so many times throughout the book is "Even if it's a little bit, with this body of mine being so weak, I want to be useful to someone. I want to have purpose. So I have to do my best, especially studying, seeing as that is all I can do now. In order to be useful to someone, I have to do my best." and I think to my self how much of a success she was... a 16 year old girl saying so many life changing things, trying her best to scratch out her words on a notebook with a marker...
It's an amazing book, I suggest you all learn Japanese and read it... (I'd say I'm at a point where I understand 90% of it, so definitely something I will re-read as I get better at Japanese)
Other than that, lately, I've been talking to this friend of mine a lot lately, her name is "Kaori" but everyone calls her "K" so I thought her real name was "Kei". Anywho, we've been talking on AIM and doing video chats on MSN almost everyday now, even after getting my wisdom teeth out... we hung out on saturday (sunday at 1am actually) and practically spent the whole night together, and she ended up spending the night (I can now say I've slept with 4 girls and am still a virgin.) cuz she lives in Flagstaff, and I didn't want her to crash and die of tiredness... we basically ended up just talking for hours, and then we finally got some sleep at like 11am, til like 2pm... and she went home. We've been talking a lot recently, and we're already like best friends, it feels like we've known each other forever... speaking to her in Japanese also feels so natural with her... she's amazingly good at english too, so we switch back and forth when the mood hits us or when we talk about an english article or something...
She's trying to get a job in America as a Japanese teacher, which is kinda the opposite of my plans (which means we're kinda chasing after the same dream really)... but I guess that means that even if we did decide to go out or anything somewhere along the line, would it go anywhere? She might even get accepted at a charter school in Oregon...
Whenever I find someone I see myself having a happy life with, things in the future don't ever end up showing up the way I would want them... same with Genna, same with anyone I guess... I guess waiting til Japan to find a nice girl is my only option... if I want to live in Japan that is...
I learned from my mistakes though, throwing a relationship away just because you can't be together forever = a lot of heart ache for both people... and while it's too late for me and Genna I guess, I am gonna make sure to spend lots of quality time with Kaori whenever we can...
Something to shock you all, in the meantime... she's 25... 6 years older than me. although she still looks like she's about my age if not a little bit younger.
I've also been missing Hannah a lot lately, my kiseki no hana... I wonder how cali is treating her? this one singer really reminds me of Hannah, and I saw her win an award on the MTV music video awards Japan the other day, and she looked ESPECIALLY like Hannah... I miss my nee-chan...
anywho... my face is covered by a warm ice pack now... time to change it maybe...
quite the update...