(no subject)
I'm sitting in a study room in the basement of the library, the heat is too high, the lights are off and there is only the light coming from the computer and through the small window. Today one of those days that I didn't get dressed this morning, not really at least. Why wear something other than a sweatshirt? I actually had to dig to find one of my two remaining sweatshirts this morning. I used to only wear sweatshirts to class. How times change.
Its one of those times I can feel that something is changing, but I don't know what. Something is different, something is about to turn everything upsidedown, but at the present all I can do is wait for that. I wish there were something I could do to make things happen. Something is hanging in the balance. Something is about to throw me for a loop. I know it, I can sense it. Its the same feeling I had right before I made the decision to drop out of ASC and go to NZ. Not the depression or discontent feeling that was ever-present then. No, that hasn't made an appearance since I left. But this is feeling of there being something out there, waiting for me, something about to occur, this was there too.
My body hates me. I've worn myself down in the last 2 months. I've not allowed for rest, not allowed for me-time, as we called it in New Zealand. And now I can't do anything but stumble around, feeling every ounce of energy being sucked from me. Knowing I am behind in my work, knowing I could be productive if only I could find the energy to read that article and write a critique, if only I could write that bio lab report, if only I could figure out a format for the weekly newsletter for my neighborhood, if only I could walk over to StuDev and get the paperwork, if only I could go to the liquor store to get the permit. I should at least write up a newsletter for my residents.
Everclear and Tonic are playing a benefit concert here on the 29th. I don't really listen to either of them, but apparently its an impressive lineup to get on a campus of 2600.
Its one of those times I can feel that something is changing, but I don't know what. Something is different, something is about to turn everything upsidedown, but at the present all I can do is wait for that. I wish there were something I could do to make things happen. Something is hanging in the balance. Something is about to throw me for a loop. I know it, I can sense it. Its the same feeling I had right before I made the decision to drop out of ASC and go to NZ. Not the depression or discontent feeling that was ever-present then. No, that hasn't made an appearance since I left. But this is feeling of there being something out there, waiting for me, something about to occur, this was there too.
My body hates me. I've worn myself down in the last 2 months. I've not allowed for rest, not allowed for me-time, as we called it in New Zealand. And now I can't do anything but stumble around, feeling every ounce of energy being sucked from me. Knowing I am behind in my work, knowing I could be productive if only I could find the energy to read that article and write a critique, if only I could write that bio lab report, if only I could figure out a format for the weekly newsletter for my neighborhood, if only I could walk over to StuDev and get the paperwork, if only I could go to the liquor store to get the permit. I should at least write up a newsletter for my residents.
Everclear and Tonic are playing a benefit concert here on the 29th. I don't really listen to either of them, but apparently its an impressive lineup to get on a campus of 2600.