Ouch
I just got my head torn off by the most important person in my life.
I brought it on myself. I always do. Trapped in a house with nothing to do but butt heads with someone makes me a little crazy.
But I never realised how much a few short sentences could hurt. They were more or less a wake-up slap-in-the-face kind of thing, stemmed from a misunderstanding.. (the not-so-funny side of text-message miscommunication).
But holy FUCK did that hurt! I don't care what kind of shit Taralynn says to me these days - even the WORST things she says doesn't have the effect those few texts just did! My heart HURTS.. my head is reeling. And I seriously, no joke, fucking cried.. And my eyes are STIll trying to cry! Ugh.
Maybe I'm just over-sensitive lately. Or maybe that just goes to show how fucking much I care for this person. I don't know. But now I don't know where to go from here. I've never had a fight with this person before and I'm embarrassed, hurt and a little bit scared. And a little bit angry for feeling all of the above. I know this person's been through a HELL of a lot lately and maybe, just maybe they didn't mean to be as harsh as they were but what if they DID mean it?!
I feel like such a dumb fuck right now! I want to fucking bash my head against a wall! I suppose it's a little late to knock sense into myself now.
I hope you read this because I want you to know I'm sorry for being such a jackass and for upsetting you. And.. I hurt. No one's ever fucking had this effect on me so easily. No one's ever had ANY effect on me as easily as you have with ANYTHING.
It hasn't even been an hour and I feel like it's been a week. When will you talk to me next? What will you say?
Fuck. I ALWAYS fuck up. ALWAYS.
I need to leave the house. I need to smoke, think and let out some tears that are overflowing inside of me. Too much has been happening lately and it's so fucking overwhelming.
I want to be strong for you and to be someone you can lean on. We're not enemies. We're supposed to be on the same side of the fence. I'm doing the best I can, making do with what I have... Fuck.
I'm just sorry.
I brought it on myself. I always do. Trapped in a house with nothing to do but butt heads with someone makes me a little crazy.
But I never realised how much a few short sentences could hurt. They were more or less a wake-up slap-in-the-face kind of thing, stemmed from a misunderstanding.. (the not-so-funny side of text-message miscommunication).
But holy FUCK did that hurt! I don't care what kind of shit Taralynn says to me these days - even the WORST things she says doesn't have the effect those few texts just did! My heart HURTS.. my head is reeling. And I seriously, no joke, fucking cried.. And my eyes are STIll trying to cry! Ugh.
Maybe I'm just over-sensitive lately. Or maybe that just goes to show how fucking much I care for this person. I don't know. But now I don't know where to go from here. I've never had a fight with this person before and I'm embarrassed, hurt and a little bit scared. And a little bit angry for feeling all of the above. I know this person's been through a HELL of a lot lately and maybe, just maybe they didn't mean to be as harsh as they were but what if they DID mean it?!
I feel like such a dumb fuck right now! I want to fucking bash my head against a wall! I suppose it's a little late to knock sense into myself now.
I hope you read this because I want you to know I'm sorry for being such a jackass and for upsetting you. And.. I hurt. No one's ever fucking had this effect on me so easily. No one's ever had ANY effect on me as easily as you have with ANYTHING.
It hasn't even been an hour and I feel like it's been a week. When will you talk to me next? What will you say?
Fuck. I ALWAYS fuck up. ALWAYS.
I need to leave the house. I need to smoke, think and let out some tears that are overflowing inside of me. Too much has been happening lately and it's so fucking overwhelming.
I want to be strong for you and to be someone you can lean on. We're not enemies. We're supposed to be on the same side of the fence. I'm doing the best I can, making do with what I have... Fuck.
I'm just sorry.