This is my subject, here is my entry...
Okay, for the sake of everyone, I won't make you read my post, but if you dare...
Well, I feel pretty lame right now... for some reason, I felt highly inclined to drive to the beach, Beane Pointe more specificially, and take this laptop to make an entry... why, I don't know. There's some other like, foreign dude sitting here, though, so I feel really lame. Just before you begin, and for future reference, make sure you read every single word of my post(s), don't skip one or else I'll confuse you. I confuse myself enough as it is... so best of luck, chaps.
Anyway, I'll get to the point... honestly, I don't know what to say about life right now. There are so many ups and downs I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster... wow, that's an original analogy. I look before me and see a perfectly constructed ant hill, y'know, the ones that look like a stadium... to think that life exists in it, and in such a minute form, is fascinating. They don't have to worry about anything but finding food, and the occasional firecracker. Okay, pointless, but yet another part of life. So I as I sit here, birds fly over head, water tumbles to the shore, and a constant rush of air cools your senses, so it's a much different post-writing atmosphere than usual. At any rate, which is a phrase I actually haven't used in a while, I'll do my best to stay on point here.
Let's see what's been happening lately, starting with none other than Ashley... unfortunately, we rarely get to see each other due to Nazi parents and opposing schedules, but things are great and I miss her more than anything, especially when I wake up to Dave Matthews' "Dream Girl" and all sorts of other songs of that nature. It's nice to come out here to where we've been many a-time before and just enjoy it. But as soon as I get to talk to her, which isn't really all that often thanks to limited minute usage, my day is instantly better. And then there's times where I get to sit at my house and talk to her for hours. But the best thing of all is holding her in my arms after all that waiting.
And sadly, waiting is exactly what I don't need to be doing. Sure, I'll wait for the moment to come, but I can't get so caught up in waiting for her that that's all I do. As much as I care for her, my life can't revolve solely around her and I'm glad I noticed before it gets to be that way. There are other things I should be worrying about right now, like supporting myself and not my habits anymore. However, I must say that being with her is the greatest thing I could ever ask for. Miss ya, baby. =)
Hm, as far as drumline goes, anything I put here won't make it better. I'm tired of talking about it, and not doing anything about it. We've got some tension going on, and it includes two of our weakest players and three of our best players, which is quite an ordeal... oh, not to mention the two of them are black, not to play the race card. So it became quite a problem yesterday, and arguments had to be stifled by me saying, "Shut up! Shut, up! Get your drums and let's get in the band room right now!" I had had enough of the bickering... or "vickering" as Jasper uses it so often. Then I proceeded to deliver a speech, in typical Jasper fashion. To any of you who were there, those words came from the heart, and apparently some of you didn't take them to heart. You outright defied me in front of everyone, it was when you played Ditty by the way, since you probably don't know what defiance really is anymore, since we're so damned used to it. But I hope the other people saw what I was talking about.
And Austin, I appreciate the conversation we had yesterday. Yet I hope you realize that you, too, have a long way to go. Don't sit here and tell me you know because listen, man, I "knew" back then. But no, wait 'til you get to my side of the fence, and you will really see what I see. I would also like to reiterate the fact that because these kids see you guys busting out all sorts of cool shit, they either want to practice only that, or not even bother to practice at all. They see a divide, and feel they are not as integral to the drumline as they once thought. You say that when I was there, everyone knew I was badass, and they fed off of that. Well unfortunately, and I know I use that word a lot, the times of brotherhood and comraderie have changed. In this I mean yeah, we all knew we were good and that transcended, because we were brahaze and we did a lot of hard work together... and when it came time to knowing my shit as in cadences and show music I made sure I did and that everyone else did to the best of my ability. Man... my mind thinks a million miles a second, too fast for me heh. But okay, the solo stuff was just something we had fun with, and we could do, and boy was it getting old. Honestly, I'd love to see you guys go out there and rip up a solo, but we need to try to include everyone.
Those kids suck, though. That's the thing, they suck. They suck because they don't practice the basics, like eights at different heights, double beats, triplet rolls, or grids of any kind. No rudiment breakdown, in fact no rudiment practice at all. There is poison in the well and frankly I don't know what to do about it. It's too bad Jasper hasn't done much for this drumline but create tension. He said he's so sick and tired of hearing the same thing all the time. Mike Armstrong brought up a good point, whom I saw for the first time in a long time last night, and said that he's been around the area, and that's what the style is... what has Jasper done, what has HE contributed?
Nothing. The man complains about it all the time, yet misses deadline after deadline to produce something new. Sad thing is, I'm just about as pathetic as him. I think about you guys all the time, and wonder what I can do to make it better. Problem is, I just sit around and think about it. I'm not going out to your guys' houses like I wanted to. I'm as instrumental as him at this point, as you guys had a rad time yesterday without me.
I have failed. At this point in life, I would be much better off playing in a drumline. Hell, I'd love to create one. But right now, my life is in shambles. It's not utterly catastrophic or anything, which reminds me... funny how we all still sit around and watch Monday Night Football leaving thousands upon thousands to deal with their own problems. Anyway, my life consists of waking up in the afternoon, either feeling tired or like shit. I don't get to talk to my girlfriend, as she's in school, and I do nothing but wait around to go to band practice. I could be exercising during this time, I could be writing music at this time as I have before but not anymore, I could be doing anything but nothing.
After band practice, I hang out with friends and participate in illegal activities. How can I expect to be a role model for my drumline if I do this shit? Right now I am not a role model, but a pawn for Manatee's success, of which we will have very little. Manatee is in a rapid decline, and has been for the past few years, but it's more apparent now than ever. Down the tubes we go with the rest of that damn band. But I think we need to stop blaming it on the band... maybe if we stopped that, they'd actually give a shit. I actually don't think they know we hate them so much. But either way, we settle for being as much slackers as them, and this is terrible. This is partly Bruce's fault, with the "challenging drill" we spend hours on. HOURS, and it STILL looks like shit. We will spend a three-hour practice just trotting around the field over and over and over. What we could do is learn about 5 or 6 pages in an hour, and run them with instruments for two hours. But no, we are forever trapped in the Bruce Box.
Not anymore... I'm sick and tired of being trapped in a hole. I need to dig my way out of it, and if anyone wants to help me, give me your hand. By this I mean in the big picture of life, not just Manatee. Mike wants me to leave there and join him on his never-ending quest for greatness and ultimately world domination. That sounds fun and all, but I want to do it my way, where I call the shots and where I have fun.
I wish life wasn't so complex, but it's the complexity that keeps it going. I hope those who made it to the end of the entry aren't too disappointed with the waste of space and time, but thanks for reading. I would proof-read like I always do, but this one is just way too long, and the battery could probably die any second. The lady that walked by me when I was getting started with this post is walking back by... what was she doing? Wondering about life? Or just walking on the beach?
Am I the only one on Earth who thinks this way? It's possible for people to think alike, but when it comes down to it, we are all our own person. When you see everyone driving on the streets, they are living out their own lives with their own thoughts. We are the only ones with our perspectives, the only people that see what our eyes see and think what our brains think, unless we exist in parallel dimensions... and even then we would probably not be the same. We are all our own person, and we are all unique, and we all see the world differently, but as I look to the Sunshine Skyway to my right, the entry box before me, and the endless abyss to my left, I can only help but wonder... who else thinks of this stupid shit?
P.S. This is what part of the alphabet would look like if you took out Q and R.
P.P.S. Weezer's "We Are All on Drugs" is one of the best songs EVER.
P.P.P.S. Beck's "Girl" is a pretty good song and really rad video.
P.P.P.P.S. I saw a civilian delivering an HBPD truck to the island, that's interesting.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I thought of a bunch more stupid shit on the drive back, but I'll save it for another time.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm digging this morning atmosphere, it's much cooler than the afternoon atmosphere.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I'll stop now.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Bye.
[Editor's Note: I just proof-read that, of course, and it's stupid... sorry, it seemed good at the time, my apologies.]
Well, I feel pretty lame right now... for some reason, I felt highly inclined to drive to the beach, Beane Pointe more specificially, and take this laptop to make an entry... why, I don't know. There's some other like, foreign dude sitting here, though, so I feel really lame. Just before you begin, and for future reference, make sure you read every single word of my post(s), don't skip one or else I'll confuse you. I confuse myself enough as it is... so best of luck, chaps.
Anyway, I'll get to the point... honestly, I don't know what to say about life right now. There are so many ups and downs I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster... wow, that's an original analogy. I look before me and see a perfectly constructed ant hill, y'know, the ones that look like a stadium... to think that life exists in it, and in such a minute form, is fascinating. They don't have to worry about anything but finding food, and the occasional firecracker. Okay, pointless, but yet another part of life. So I as I sit here, birds fly over head, water tumbles to the shore, and a constant rush of air cools your senses, so it's a much different post-writing atmosphere than usual. At any rate, which is a phrase I actually haven't used in a while, I'll do my best to stay on point here.
Let's see what's been happening lately, starting with none other than Ashley... unfortunately, we rarely get to see each other due to Nazi parents and opposing schedules, but things are great and I miss her more than anything, especially when I wake up to Dave Matthews' "Dream Girl" and all sorts of other songs of that nature. It's nice to come out here to where we've been many a-time before and just enjoy it. But as soon as I get to talk to her, which isn't really all that often thanks to limited minute usage, my day is instantly better. And then there's times where I get to sit at my house and talk to her for hours. But the best thing of all is holding her in my arms after all that waiting.
And sadly, waiting is exactly what I don't need to be doing. Sure, I'll wait for the moment to come, but I can't get so caught up in waiting for her that that's all I do. As much as I care for her, my life can't revolve solely around her and I'm glad I noticed before it gets to be that way. There are other things I should be worrying about right now, like supporting myself and not my habits anymore. However, I must say that being with her is the greatest thing I could ever ask for. Miss ya, baby. =)
Hm, as far as drumline goes, anything I put here won't make it better. I'm tired of talking about it, and not doing anything about it. We've got some tension going on, and it includes two of our weakest players and three of our best players, which is quite an ordeal... oh, not to mention the two of them are black, not to play the race card. So it became quite a problem yesterday, and arguments had to be stifled by me saying, "Shut up! Shut, up! Get your drums and let's get in the band room right now!" I had had enough of the bickering... or "vickering" as Jasper uses it so often. Then I proceeded to deliver a speech, in typical Jasper fashion. To any of you who were there, those words came from the heart, and apparently some of you didn't take them to heart. You outright defied me in front of everyone, it was when you played Ditty by the way, since you probably don't know what defiance really is anymore, since we're so damned used to it. But I hope the other people saw what I was talking about.
And Austin, I appreciate the conversation we had yesterday. Yet I hope you realize that you, too, have a long way to go. Don't sit here and tell me you know because listen, man, I "knew" back then. But no, wait 'til you get to my side of the fence, and you will really see what I see. I would also like to reiterate the fact that because these kids see you guys busting out all sorts of cool shit, they either want to practice only that, or not even bother to practice at all. They see a divide, and feel they are not as integral to the drumline as they once thought. You say that when I was there, everyone knew I was badass, and they fed off of that. Well unfortunately, and I know I use that word a lot, the times of brotherhood and comraderie have changed. In this I mean yeah, we all knew we were good and that transcended, because we were brahaze and we did a lot of hard work together... and when it came time to knowing my shit as in cadences and show music I made sure I did and that everyone else did to the best of my ability. Man... my mind thinks a million miles a second, too fast for me heh. But okay, the solo stuff was just something we had fun with, and we could do, and boy was it getting old. Honestly, I'd love to see you guys go out there and rip up a solo, but we need to try to include everyone.
Those kids suck, though. That's the thing, they suck. They suck because they don't practice the basics, like eights at different heights, double beats, triplet rolls, or grids of any kind. No rudiment breakdown, in fact no rudiment practice at all. There is poison in the well and frankly I don't know what to do about it. It's too bad Jasper hasn't done much for this drumline but create tension. He said he's so sick and tired of hearing the same thing all the time. Mike Armstrong brought up a good point, whom I saw for the first time in a long time last night, and said that he's been around the area, and that's what the style is... what has Jasper done, what has HE contributed?
Nothing. The man complains about it all the time, yet misses deadline after deadline to produce something new. Sad thing is, I'm just about as pathetic as him. I think about you guys all the time, and wonder what I can do to make it better. Problem is, I just sit around and think about it. I'm not going out to your guys' houses like I wanted to. I'm as instrumental as him at this point, as you guys had a rad time yesterday without me.
I have failed. At this point in life, I would be much better off playing in a drumline. Hell, I'd love to create one. But right now, my life is in shambles. It's not utterly catastrophic or anything, which reminds me... funny how we all still sit around and watch Monday Night Football leaving thousands upon thousands to deal with their own problems. Anyway, my life consists of waking up in the afternoon, either feeling tired or like shit. I don't get to talk to my girlfriend, as she's in school, and I do nothing but wait around to go to band practice. I could be exercising during this time, I could be writing music at this time as I have before but not anymore, I could be doing anything but nothing.
After band practice, I hang out with friends and participate in illegal activities. How can I expect to be a role model for my drumline if I do this shit? Right now I am not a role model, but a pawn for Manatee's success, of which we will have very little. Manatee is in a rapid decline, and has been for the past few years, but it's more apparent now than ever. Down the tubes we go with the rest of that damn band. But I think we need to stop blaming it on the band... maybe if we stopped that, they'd actually give a shit. I actually don't think they know we hate them so much. But either way, we settle for being as much slackers as them, and this is terrible. This is partly Bruce's fault, with the "challenging drill" we spend hours on. HOURS, and it STILL looks like shit. We will spend a three-hour practice just trotting around the field over and over and over. What we could do is learn about 5 or 6 pages in an hour, and run them with instruments for two hours. But no, we are forever trapped in the Bruce Box.
Not anymore... I'm sick and tired of being trapped in a hole. I need to dig my way out of it, and if anyone wants to help me, give me your hand. By this I mean in the big picture of life, not just Manatee. Mike wants me to leave there and join him on his never-ending quest for greatness and ultimately world domination. That sounds fun and all, but I want to do it my way, where I call the shots and where I have fun.
I wish life wasn't so complex, but it's the complexity that keeps it going. I hope those who made it to the end of the entry aren't too disappointed with the waste of space and time, but thanks for reading. I would proof-read like I always do, but this one is just way too long, and the battery could probably die any second. The lady that walked by me when I was getting started with this post is walking back by... what was she doing? Wondering about life? Or just walking on the beach?
Am I the only one on Earth who thinks this way? It's possible for people to think alike, but when it comes down to it, we are all our own person. When you see everyone driving on the streets, they are living out their own lives with their own thoughts. We are the only ones with our perspectives, the only people that see what our eyes see and think what our brains think, unless we exist in parallel dimensions... and even then we would probably not be the same. We are all our own person, and we are all unique, and we all see the world differently, but as I look to the Sunshine Skyway to my right, the entry box before me, and the endless abyss to my left, I can only help but wonder... who else thinks of this stupid shit?
P.S. This is what part of the alphabet would look like if you took out Q and R.
P.P.S. Weezer's "We Are All on Drugs" is one of the best songs EVER.
P.P.P.S. Beck's "Girl" is a pretty good song and really rad video.
P.P.P.P.S. I saw a civilian delivering an HBPD truck to the island, that's interesting.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I thought of a bunch more stupid shit on the drive back, but I'll save it for another time.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm digging this morning atmosphere, it's much cooler than the afternoon atmosphere.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I'll stop now.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Bye.
[Editor's Note: I just proof-read that, of course, and it's stupid... sorry, it seemed good at the time, my apologies.]