Wow, it IS summer
I have recently been battling depression but it is not the sort of depression that drives one to consider and carry out any acts of suicide; I will admit to having suicidal thoughts but who doesn't at times. But anyways I have a chemical inbalance of serotonin in my system; low serotonin levels have shown to lead to depressive thoughts. I'm gonna schedule an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning and try to get in as early as possible so that I may get some anti-depressents so that I can continue living my life the way that I want to. I'm just so tired of feeling this way.
There have been things from my past that have led me to have depressive thoughts and I thought those problems had been done away with. But those problems have some how resurfaced into my thought process and at times it inhibits me from being the same Marc that everyone is used to being around. I've gone through alot in my childhood and experienced so much drama and trauma that no child should ever have to go through but I have come out stronger than ever. Or so I thought. To add on to that I have the pressure to succeed in school, but it is the pressure I put on myself, seeing as how my parents have NEVER pressured me whatsoever. I have big goals in life that I want to fulfill and I think I have put too much pressure on myself. I'll be 20 in July and I want to begin my adult life with a renewed look on life and school, leaving all the depressing stuff behind for good.
Some of you may be wondering what the hell I'm talking about; Well, I really don't know how to explain it or know even where to begin. My symptoms have included severe mood swings, from feelng like myself, to anger, to a feeling of sadness, and, quite frankly, I don't know why it is happening. I also have trouble sleeping and at times have a lack of appetite, and at times I feel as though I am not in control of myself or my own emotions, and it has led me to act "differently." But I don't display that sort of behavior in public. I don't even know why my mood swings occur so infrequently and without warning but they do. This type of behavior isn't normal and it isn't me or who I want to be.
I thought it was best to make everyone who has/reads livejournal aware of my "condition" if you will. I am thoroughly against the use of depending on any type of pills but this is the best way to overcome my problem. I have always feared that people would judge me as being crazy or even psycho if I told them that I was "depressed" but I'm not. But now I realize that if I don't let people into my world that's how they might think. I truly do care about each and everyone of my friends and I want to be myself again. I now realize that I'm not perfect and it is my imperfections that people seem to love about me. And for that I am truly greatful. I know that with the support of my family and friends I can do whatever I set my mind to. So don't worry because I'll be alright.
In other news I found the seagull that infected those penguins, and let's just say that he won't be causing anymore trouble. ^__^
There have been things from my past that have led me to have depressive thoughts and I thought those problems had been done away with. But those problems have some how resurfaced into my thought process and at times it inhibits me from being the same Marc that everyone is used to being around. I've gone through alot in my childhood and experienced so much drama and trauma that no child should ever have to go through but I have come out stronger than ever. Or so I thought. To add on to that I have the pressure to succeed in school, but it is the pressure I put on myself, seeing as how my parents have NEVER pressured me whatsoever. I have big goals in life that I want to fulfill and I think I have put too much pressure on myself. I'll be 20 in July and I want to begin my adult life with a renewed look on life and school, leaving all the depressing stuff behind for good.
Some of you may be wondering what the hell I'm talking about; Well, I really don't know how to explain it or know even where to begin. My symptoms have included severe mood swings, from feelng like myself, to anger, to a feeling of sadness, and, quite frankly, I don't know why it is happening. I also have trouble sleeping and at times have a lack of appetite, and at times I feel as though I am not in control of myself or my own emotions, and it has led me to act "differently." But I don't display that sort of behavior in public. I don't even know why my mood swings occur so infrequently and without warning but they do. This type of behavior isn't normal and it isn't me or who I want to be.
I thought it was best to make everyone who has/reads livejournal aware of my "condition" if you will. I am thoroughly against the use of depending on any type of pills but this is the best way to overcome my problem. I have always feared that people would judge me as being crazy or even psycho if I told them that I was "depressed" but I'm not. But now I realize that if I don't let people into my world that's how they might think. I truly do care about each and everyone of my friends and I want to be myself again. I now realize that I'm not perfect and it is my imperfections that people seem to love about me. And for that I am truly greatful. I know that with the support of my family and friends I can do whatever I set my mind to. So don't worry because I'll be alright.
In other news I found the seagull that infected those penguins, and let's just say that he won't be causing anymore trouble. ^__^