one more thing
i wanted to mention that the worst thing about all this is I'm such an arrogant asshole. I still believe, which is what I believed for most of our relationship, that I'm the cure for what ails her. I should correct that, I don't believe it, I just believe that I should be and I still try. I wish I could seperate myself from that. Stop bugging her, stop feeling the need to bug her would be even better. Actually, what would be even better than that is if she just started making educated, intelligent, well-thought-out, healthy decisions in her life. I think that's the circular pattern that goes on in my head that results in my being an ass. Oh well, that's all I wanted to say.