So, yeah. So much for my whole "I'm going to update regularly" deal. Oh well, at least some people are still worse at it than I am **cough** Tadd **coughcough
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I'd say you've got the right idea, but maybe put a bit more distance between you two. Cut the hanging out down to no more than once a week and keep it as brief and as casual as possible (like just hanging out at the pub for a couple hours or something). Hang out with her in groups as much as possible and talk to the other people in the group just as much as her. Also, don't make it a point to sit next to her when you're all hanging out as a group. And no physical contact whatsoever! If she asks to hang out more, tell her you've got plans or you're extremely tired. And if after a few weeks of that, she's still coming on just as strong, you may want to just have a heart-to-heart with her.
I remember that I was in her situation with a couple of guys during the time when Tadd and I were apart (and I was in your situation a couple of times too). I absolutely hated the mixed signals and mind games those guys were putting me through. And being an air sign (and a psych major!), I tended to overanalyze everything the guys I was crushing on did. If you're consistent enough with your casual indifference, while still staying cordial and friendly, she might get the idea on her own and you can silently transition into friendship without any awkward discussion of where you stand. But if after awhile she still doesn't get the hint, you just might have to tell her how you feel. Who knows, she might be understanding and you'll be able to keep your friendship! But it would probably be best to attempt to get the point across without a big discussion.
Consistency is the key! Don't give her anything to analyze and fuel her crush. Keep your plans sparse, simple, and casual. So basically do what you've been doing, just turn it up a notch and stay consistent with it. And no more all-day trips to Typhoon Lagoon! Hee hee.
yeah you're right about what needs to be done. Part that confuses me is that she already knows I'm not interested, and says that's fine... yet still wants to hang out. She didn't make any kinds of advances towards me or anything today, and, as shy as she is, I doubt she's ever going to. I just don't want her to get the wrong idea, because I do think she's cool... but I'm not going to become romantically interested in her. Not sure why, cuz she is a great chick, but I'm not gonna force anything when I'm just not feelin it.
She might think that you could still be receptive to being interested at some point in time, or maybe she's trying to change your mind. The I'm not looking for a relationship right now thing isn't a set-in-stone statement saying you aren't into HER at all, so maybe she's trying to stick it out until you are ready. Or, it could be that she already knows you don't like her in that way and she's gotten past it, but you're taking her friendliness as flirting. I've never seen you two together, so it's hard to tell. If you're sure that she's still hoping for you to change your mind about her and her flirting is genuine flirting, I'd err on the side of caution and just try to keep your distance. It's not fair to her if you know she isn't getting the idea, but you're still going the extra mile to be friendly towards her. Those mixed signals can keep her little flame for you going. After awhile of sticking with it, she's bound to get the right idea eventually.
It's a very delicate situation, I know. And you're a sweet guy to care so much about hurting her feelings. Hopefully it will all work out ok in the end. Good luck!
Yeah I agree on the "err on the side of caution" idea. Gonna wait it out and see what happens, but if she keeps it up, we're just gonna have to have a little talk. Not like we're kids or not mature enough to handle it, hell she's almost 26 lol, but it's never fun to turn someone down. (Plus I'm not used to it haha, usually I'M the one getting turned down!)
I remember that I was in her situation with a couple of guys during the time when Tadd and I were apart (and I was in your situation a couple of times too). I absolutely hated the mixed signals and mind games those guys were putting me through. And being an air sign (and a psych major!), I tended to overanalyze everything the guys I was crushing on did. If you're consistent enough with your casual indifference, while still staying cordial and friendly, she might get the idea on her own and you can silently transition into friendship without any awkward discussion of where you stand. But if after awhile she still doesn't get the hint, you just might have to tell her how you feel. Who knows, she might be understanding and you'll be able to keep your friendship! But it would probably be best to attempt to get the point across without a big discussion.
Consistency is the key! Don't give her anything to analyze and fuel her crush. Keep your plans sparse, simple, and casual. So basically do what you've been doing, just turn it up a notch and stay consistent with it. And no more all-day trips to Typhoon Lagoon! Hee hee.
Hope I've been at least semi helpful...
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It's a very delicate situation, I know. And you're a sweet guy to care so much about hurting her feelings. Hopefully it will all work out ok in the end. Good luck!
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