Dana-ism's 3
After I breathlessly explained to him a funny commercial:
Dana: You're so cute I want to do you up the butt.
Jeanine: Well, see if we can get the bedroom furniture in within the next week, we can use it next Sunday. We can sleep somewhere other than the shop! No Bugs!
Dana: I just made a hot stinky.
Jeanine: pause Do you realize what you just said?
Jeanine: Hey! If we move in on Monday, we’ll be able to have Sex in the apartment!
Dana: *funny look*
Jeanine: Yes, I said the “sex” word.
Dana: I prefer “humpa dumpa.”
Jeanine: Pookie, we can’t drive on Howard Street, it says it has a 10,000 pound limit and I’m in the car.
Dana: We’ll just have to deflate your head.
Jeanine: *BURP*
Dana: Ooh, that one had some stank to it. Ew, it’s leaving a liquid in my mouth. *smacks lips* It’s almost like a gravy.
As we were eating ice cream:
Dana ["playing with my fully dressed cooz"]: I'm trying to give you an orgasm.
Jeanine: No need, Pookie, I've got Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby.
After my ruptured cyst experience:
Jeanine: We have to be gentle, Pookie, I don’t want my insides exploding again.
Dana: Everything that comes out of your mouth just oozes sexiness.
Dana: the first time he saw me in my bathing suit: You're a sexy monkey...... And I like monkeys.
Jeanine as I was washing dishes: Pookie, I had a really bad day.
Dana as he holds me from behind and grabs my boobs: Look at these HUGE ta-ta's!
Jeanine: *smiles all big like* Thanks!
Dana: I want waffles.
Jeanine: How could you be hungry?? You ate yesterday.
Dana: Oh yeah, you’ll be a great mother.
Jeanine: My belly hurts.
Dana: Aww. Eat something.
Jeanine: No, silly! Not that belly, my baby-making belly.
Jeanine: I'm so sad, Pookie. I've been sad all day.
Dana: You know what you need?
Jeanine: What?
Dana: You need to make me something to eat.
Jeanine: *laughs for ten minutes*
Dana: No, really. I want a grilled Portobello mushroom and sun dried tomatoes on sour dough bread.
Jeanine: I'm going to go on the show Extreme Makeovers and they're going to make me taller. And make my ass smaller. And give me a new upper lip. And bigger boobs. And give me lasik surgery.... Then I'll be perfect.
Dana: You already are perfect.
Jeanine: I’m the Queen of Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt.
Dana: You’re the Queen of the Sucka. It’s not just for lemons anymore.
Jeanine: *laughs*
Dana: I tried to make a funny.
Jeanine: Oh you did.
Jeanine: My belly really hurts today. I need snuggy.
Dana: You need a good whapping.
Jeanine: NO! I need relaxing not whapping.
Jeanine: I got a new blanket. It smells a lot better.
Dana: Better.
Jeanine: It's also a lot sturdier.
Dana: Sturdier.
Jeanine: I can tell when you're not listening to me when you repeat the last word I say.
Dana: Saaaaaaaay.
Jeanine: Sadly, it can't be butt-naked snuggy as I have my period again this week.
Dana: That's OK, I'll just stick it up your fudge tunnel.
Dana: *catches me eating a piece of chocolate*
Jeanine: I wasn't eating any candy. *throws wrapper behind keyboard*
Dana: Riiiiight. You smell like a Reece's Cup.
Five minutes later:
Dana: *standing over my brother's old red and white guitar*
Jeanine: Just because it's a guitar, doesn't mean you have to touch it.
Dana: Just because it's candy, doesn't mean you have to eat it.
Dana while at the Goodwill: That man has surpassed body odor and has moved on to vinegar.
Dana: Give me rubba-dubba. [read: rub my back.]
Jeanine: Do you want me to do it like this, like this, or like this?
Dana: Both ways.
Jeanine: I gave you three options, honey.
Dana: Then do it both three ways.
Jeanine: Why don’t you go get me a paper towel from the kitchen?
Dana: *blank stare*
Jeanine: Hello? Pookie? Paper towel, please.
Dana: *another blank stare*
Jeanine: Why are you against getting up and getting me a paper towel?
Dana: See, I’ve made a commitment to this couch, and I just can’t break it.
Jeanine: Do you need to take a nap before practice?
Dana: Yes.
Jeanine: You sleep too much.
Dana: You talk too much.
While listening to You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling by The Righteous Brothers
Dana: This song makes me want to have sex with Whoopi Goldberg.
Jeanine: Why?
Dana: Wasn’t it in that movie with the ghost?
Jeanine: No. This was in Top Gun. Unchained Melody was in Ghost.
Dana: Oh. Yeah. Well, this song still makes me what to have sex with Whoopi.
Dana: You're so cute I want to do you up the butt.
Jeanine: Well, see if we can get the bedroom furniture in within the next week, we can use it next Sunday. We can sleep somewhere other than the shop! No Bugs!
Dana: I just made a hot stinky.
Jeanine: pause Do you realize what you just said?
Jeanine: Hey! If we move in on Monday, we’ll be able to have Sex in the apartment!
Dana: *funny look*
Jeanine: Yes, I said the “sex” word.
Dana: I prefer “humpa dumpa.”
Jeanine: Pookie, we can’t drive on Howard Street, it says it has a 10,000 pound limit and I’m in the car.
Dana: We’ll just have to deflate your head.
Jeanine: *BURP*
Dana: Ooh, that one had some stank to it. Ew, it’s leaving a liquid in my mouth. *smacks lips* It’s almost like a gravy.
As we were eating ice cream:
Dana ["playing with my fully dressed cooz"]: I'm trying to give you an orgasm.
Jeanine: No need, Pookie, I've got Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby.
After my ruptured cyst experience:
Jeanine: We have to be gentle, Pookie, I don’t want my insides exploding again.
Dana: Everything that comes out of your mouth just oozes sexiness.
Dana: the first time he saw me in my bathing suit: You're a sexy monkey...... And I like monkeys.
Jeanine as I was washing dishes: Pookie, I had a really bad day.
Dana as he holds me from behind and grabs my boobs: Look at these HUGE ta-ta's!
Jeanine: *smiles all big like* Thanks!
Dana: I want waffles.
Jeanine: How could you be hungry?? You ate yesterday.
Dana: Oh yeah, you’ll be a great mother.
Jeanine: My belly hurts.
Dana: Aww. Eat something.
Jeanine: No, silly! Not that belly, my baby-making belly.
Jeanine: I'm so sad, Pookie. I've been sad all day.
Dana: You know what you need?
Jeanine: What?
Dana: You need to make me something to eat.
Jeanine: *laughs for ten minutes*
Dana: No, really. I want a grilled Portobello mushroom and sun dried tomatoes on sour dough bread.
Jeanine: I'm going to go on the show Extreme Makeovers and they're going to make me taller. And make my ass smaller. And give me a new upper lip. And bigger boobs. And give me lasik surgery.... Then I'll be perfect.
Dana: You already are perfect.
Jeanine: I’m the Queen of Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt.
Dana: You’re the Queen of the Sucka. It’s not just for lemons anymore.
Jeanine: *laughs*
Dana: I tried to make a funny.
Jeanine: Oh you did.
Jeanine: My belly really hurts today. I need snuggy.
Dana: You need a good whapping.
Jeanine: NO! I need relaxing not whapping.
Jeanine: I got a new blanket. It smells a lot better.
Dana: Better.
Jeanine: It's also a lot sturdier.
Dana: Sturdier.
Jeanine: I can tell when you're not listening to me when you repeat the last word I say.
Dana: Saaaaaaaay.
Jeanine: Sadly, it can't be butt-naked snuggy as I have my period again this week.
Dana: That's OK, I'll just stick it up your fudge tunnel.
Dana: *catches me eating a piece of chocolate*
Jeanine: I wasn't eating any candy. *throws wrapper behind keyboard*
Dana: Riiiiight. You smell like a Reece's Cup.
Five minutes later:
Dana: *standing over my brother's old red and white guitar*
Jeanine: Just because it's a guitar, doesn't mean you have to touch it.
Dana: Just because it's candy, doesn't mean you have to eat it.
Dana while at the Goodwill: That man has surpassed body odor and has moved on to vinegar.
Dana: Give me rubba-dubba. [read: rub my back.]
Jeanine: Do you want me to do it like this, like this, or like this?
Dana: Both ways.
Jeanine: I gave you three options, honey.
Dana: Then do it both three ways.
Jeanine: Why don’t you go get me a paper towel from the kitchen?
Dana: *blank stare*
Jeanine: Hello? Pookie? Paper towel, please.
Dana: *another blank stare*
Jeanine: Why are you against getting up and getting me a paper towel?
Dana: See, I’ve made a commitment to this couch, and I just can’t break it.
Jeanine: Do you need to take a nap before practice?
Dana: Yes.
Jeanine: You sleep too much.
Dana: You talk too much.
While listening to You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling by The Righteous Brothers
Dana: This song makes me want to have sex with Whoopi Goldberg.
Jeanine: Why?
Dana: Wasn’t it in that movie with the ghost?
Jeanine: No. This was in Top Gun. Unchained Melody was in Ghost.
Dana: Oh. Yeah. Well, this song still makes me what to have sex with Whoopi.