life...
i have yet to understand mine and that makes me kinda mad at myself.. the whole time i can sit here and talk crap about my family friends and people.. but maybe im the imperfect one.. the one that lies.. cuz i cared about what others think.. cuz im stupid.. cuz honestly.. lately i think i dont do think i do enuf for someone.. he left everythin for me.. his friends.. his freedom.. he gets in trouble.. he will stop talkin to somone i dont like.. he gave up a scholarship to oregon.. and what do i do to him.. i have lied.. i have done stupid shit.. i tested him.. i damn.. what else should b sayd.. i dunno.. i really dont know.. honeslty last night i wanted to die.. i felt like caca.. like im being pulled away from him.. but you kno i could say this all the time.. but what if i had never met him.. what if i had never been able to see him period.. im lucky i guess.. cuz like could b locked up at home.. but its still not fair.. cuz the only reason im held back.. isnt cuz my mom.. its cuz my dad.. its stupid.. he doesnt understand.. and he wants to tell us what to do.. why you never let us into your life.. why should i let you into my life.. you dont even kno me .. my dad doesnt kno me.. but wants to control me.. damn life is hypocritical too.. i am too.. i didnt realize it.. i tell him not to do shit.. and i do what i dont want him to do.. damn i dont think i have been the best girlfriend.. yea there is more.. PLENTY.. where you could blame me.. but we dont break.. i think its called LOVE.. cuz you kno love is caring.. understanding.. pleasure.. crazy.. passive.. comforting.. trust.. belief.. couragous.. great.. hopefull.. incredible.. desirable.. optimistic.. relaxing.. rejuvinating.. sympathetic.. damn its everything.. i dont kno what i would do with out it babe i luv you and buddies aka friend i luv you guys too and well my moms i luv her too but it just hard sumtimes.. life i dont understand it.. dont kno if i will