sadness is taking over..
so i believe.. lately life has been a lil bit.. lifeless.. like my emotions have been negative i try and get up.. but i am sucked back down.. i feel untrusted.. unbelieved.. but yet i am one to always ask for my punishments someone.. its like i want to laugh.. but i have no energy.. and when i do laugh it feels good.. but like not a time to be laryuing... maybe weird .. but like when your so down you dont feel like laughin even if u kno its funny.. i have one person who bring true smiles and true laughes to me and you guys should kno who that is.. yea the MAN.. yea.. and i promised today id marry him.. how cute.. you kno i can never be mad at him.. i should never.. but hey we always let shit get in the way.. i luv the guy.. i need the guy.. and like right its hard.. no being able to see each other all the time.. its jus tough.. hopefully he can go to work wit me tomoro (cross my finger) cuz thats 3 hours of visiting time.. and i get to go to wit him to dinner on saturday.. i have to talk to his parents.. very nervous about that... EEEEKKK