(no subject)
i just got done reading Joe's entry...and that is exacly what i had been having trouble with....the selfish love or not? and what parts where and what ones werent....but yet again...Joe takes to trophy for putting it better than i eva could....
Joe gave me book to read and i was really excited to read it....but when i started to read it i wanted to stop...i thought that if i kept readin then it would get better...dont get me wrong...it was a good book...but i just didn't want to hear what it said i was thinking "ok so like i kno that this is what i am posda want and how i should deal with things...but these ppl worte this book b/c they are trying to be perfect and want other ppl to follow their lead" but i didn't want to handle things like that...and the sad thing was that i didn't feel guilty at all...so i just decided that i wasn't gunna read it any more and i would just tell Joe how i felt and that i didn't want to do things like that...and just hope that he would understand...(even tho i knew that he would find a way to get me to read it again)....then the other day i was bored and i was thinking about all the things that i could do...and then i really felt like i should start reading that book again...and as much as i didnt want to i started to...
and i read it and got to like the 3rd part...and that is the part that got me the most...it talks about 'being inpatient and not waiting for God to bring the right one into my life and so i did stuff with other guys that i regret now' type stuff....and then i started to feel guilty.....and i like that feeling alomost as much as i h8 it b/c i don't feel it often....
but the other sad part is that the guilty feeling doesn't last long...it last just as long as i am hearing/reading/listening or seeing whateva it is that is making me feel like that...some times it last longer....but not often....
but on a more "possitive" note...if i keep going at this rate i will be dead with in the next week....:-P
Friday i went to the doctor and he shot my Thumb with this stuff and then it turned into a a huge nasty blister...-yuck-...
saturday i fell on the pool and bruised my arm...
sunday i was washing cars all day and cut my feet from running everywhere
Monday i got smacked in the face with a fist....and cake
Tuesday i was walking ova to Lauras house and i fell on the cement stairs and tore open my left knee -yucker- and it was blooding everywhere and then Laura, Jeff and I were palying basket ball and jeff was gloating about how no one could get the ball away from him and i ran up and smaked the ball out of his hand and it came back and hit me in the eye and i went ot block it and i hit myslef in the eye with my finger..and i broke blood vessels..and they are telling me that they aren't going to go away!....
and today i haven't done anything to get hurt (on purpose)
lol but there is still all night left ahead of me!!! -gahhhhhhhhhhh-! lol!
well i am sooo ready to start my own clothes line.....Jessi and i have been for awhile but the y guy that we were going to go through said that we needed more items than the 30-ish that we had...so we made more and then Jessi kinda dieded out on me...and so i made a shirt today..and i am wearing it right now...its kinda cute...it has a necklace and a hair thinget too...its kewl:)
but yeah....
pray that i don't kill myself tonight k?!...lol
(oo yeah and Jeff asked me out!.....-arg- he is the second guy since i have turn 16 and that was only 2 days ago!!!!)
I <3 U KIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! U DA GURL!!!!!!:-D
Joe gave me book to read and i was really excited to read it....but when i started to read it i wanted to stop...i thought that if i kept readin then it would get better...dont get me wrong...it was a good book...but i just didn't want to hear what it said i was thinking "ok so like i kno that this is what i am posda want and how i should deal with things...but these ppl worte this book b/c they are trying to be perfect and want other ppl to follow their lead" but i didn't want to handle things like that...and the sad thing was that i didn't feel guilty at all...so i just decided that i wasn't gunna read it any more and i would just tell Joe how i felt and that i didn't want to do things like that...and just hope that he would understand...(even tho i knew that he would find a way to get me to read it again)....then the other day i was bored and i was thinking about all the things that i could do...and then i really felt like i should start reading that book again...and as much as i didnt want to i started to...
and i read it and got to like the 3rd part...and that is the part that got me the most...it talks about 'being inpatient and not waiting for God to bring the right one into my life and so i did stuff with other guys that i regret now' type stuff....and then i started to feel guilty.....and i like that feeling alomost as much as i h8 it b/c i don't feel it often....
but the other sad part is that the guilty feeling doesn't last long...it last just as long as i am hearing/reading/listening or seeing whateva it is that is making me feel like that...some times it last longer....but not often....
but on a more "possitive" note...if i keep going at this rate i will be dead with in the next week....:-P
Friday i went to the doctor and he shot my Thumb with this stuff and then it turned into a a huge nasty blister...-yuck-...
saturday i fell on the pool and bruised my arm...
sunday i was washing cars all day and cut my feet from running everywhere
Monday i got smacked in the face with a fist....and cake
Tuesday i was walking ova to Lauras house and i fell on the cement stairs and tore open my left knee -yucker- and it was blooding everywhere and then Laura, Jeff and I were palying basket ball and jeff was gloating about how no one could get the ball away from him and i ran up and smaked the ball out of his hand and it came back and hit me in the eye and i went ot block it and i hit myslef in the eye with my finger..and i broke blood vessels..and they are telling me that they aren't going to go away!....
and today i haven't done anything to get hurt (on purpose)
lol but there is still all night left ahead of me!!! -gahhhhhhhhhhh-! lol!
well i am sooo ready to start my own clothes line.....Jessi and i have been for awhile but the y guy that we were going to go through said that we needed more items than the 30-ish that we had...so we made more and then Jessi kinda dieded out on me...and so i made a shirt today..and i am wearing it right now...its kinda cute...it has a necklace and a hair thinget too...its kewl:)
but yeah....
pray that i don't kill myself tonight k?!...lol
(oo yeah and Jeff asked me out!.....-arg- he is the second guy since i have turn 16 and that was only 2 days ago!!!!)
I <3 U KIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! U DA GURL!!!!!!:-D