Hey guys!
Hey guys. This is my latest Obidala fic. If you decide to read it, please leave feedback. I'd really like to hear it. It's a really, really short one-shot from Padme's POV set during Episode III when Obi-Wan comes to find out where Anakin is. Enjoy!
Whatever's Left by Saturn T. Riddle
“Anakin’s the father, isn’t he?”
The words strike me like nothing I’ve ever felt. He might as well have ripped his lightsaber through my stomach; the words feel just as sickening. I want to sink to my knees and choke back the vomit I feel coming. I never thought it would come to this. He looks back up at me now, and I can see the pain burning in his eyes. His eyes, a different shade of the sea at any given moment… those eyes I’ve grown to love. Those eyes I have tried so hard to forget in favour of the father of my child…
Yes, Ben, Anakin is the father, is what I want to say. I’m sorry. The words don’t come, instead I choke back a sob. I’m so, so sorry. I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be ours.
The words still don’t come. He looks at me now in disgust, and those eyes I love turn on me. Those eyes that used to gaze into mine so lovingly… now can think only of how I’ve betrayed them, turned my back on them for someone far younger, far more immature. How could I?
Ben, you know what it was like for me, I want to say. You know he would’ve killed me, killed us, if he had known. You know I had to pretend, to go along with the charade to keep us from certain doom. The death of the Republic would’ve been closer at hand had he known our love.
Such a jealous, silly little boy... How could I, a woman who at fourteen was ruler of an entire planet, fall for someone years behind me in maturity? How could I betray Ben? He who was the only real lover I’ve ever known. My dearest Ben… Obi-Wan… how could I abandon you in favour of Anakin? Anakin who has never known love for me… Only a deep-seated passion that was darker than jealousy, and stronger than love. Obsession. Obsession of the worst variety.
Now I stand watching my beloved Obi-Wan stare at me in repulsion, all because I let the childish obsession consume me. I betrayed all love, all trust I had in Obi-Wan and threw it all away in favour of Anakin. Anakin, who promised me the world… how could I believe him over Obi-Wan? I suppose I was tired of the secrecy and the lies… but with Anakin I received them tenfold. All the intrusive questions I was asked, all the lies I told and secrets I kept for him.
It looks simply awful for an unmarried senator to get knocked up by an unknown source, don’t you think?
“I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan says, turning to leave.
Wait, I think. Again the words do not formulate. Ben, please come back. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to come to this.
We never do.
The words enter my brain, harsher than if I had heard them spoken. They make me want to put a blaster to my head and pull the trigger. The tears start to fall as I look up at him. He is gone.
Whatever's Left by Saturn T. Riddle
“Anakin’s the father, isn’t he?”
The words strike me like nothing I’ve ever felt. He might as well have ripped his lightsaber through my stomach; the words feel just as sickening. I want to sink to my knees and choke back the vomit I feel coming. I never thought it would come to this. He looks back up at me now, and I can see the pain burning in his eyes. His eyes, a different shade of the sea at any given moment… those eyes I’ve grown to love. Those eyes I have tried so hard to forget in favour of the father of my child…
Yes, Ben, Anakin is the father, is what I want to say. I’m sorry. The words don’t come, instead I choke back a sob. I’m so, so sorry. I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be ours.
The words still don’t come. He looks at me now in disgust, and those eyes I love turn on me. Those eyes that used to gaze into mine so lovingly… now can think only of how I’ve betrayed them, turned my back on them for someone far younger, far more immature. How could I?
Ben, you know what it was like for me, I want to say. You know he would’ve killed me, killed us, if he had known. You know I had to pretend, to go along with the charade to keep us from certain doom. The death of the Republic would’ve been closer at hand had he known our love.
Such a jealous, silly little boy... How could I, a woman who at fourteen was ruler of an entire planet, fall for someone years behind me in maturity? How could I betray Ben? He who was the only real lover I’ve ever known. My dearest Ben… Obi-Wan… how could I abandon you in favour of Anakin? Anakin who has never known love for me… Only a deep-seated passion that was darker than jealousy, and stronger than love. Obsession. Obsession of the worst variety.
Now I stand watching my beloved Obi-Wan stare at me in repulsion, all because I let the childish obsession consume me. I betrayed all love, all trust I had in Obi-Wan and threw it all away in favour of Anakin. Anakin, who promised me the world… how could I believe him over Obi-Wan? I suppose I was tired of the secrecy and the lies… but with Anakin I received them tenfold. All the intrusive questions I was asked, all the lies I told and secrets I kept for him.
It looks simply awful for an unmarried senator to get knocked up by an unknown source, don’t you think?
“I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan says, turning to leave.
Wait, I think. Again the words do not formulate. Ben, please come back. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to come to this.
We never do.
The words enter my brain, harsher than if I had heard them spoken. They make me want to put a blaster to my head and pull the trigger. The tears start to fall as I look up at him. He is gone.