Brush-strokes in rust.
School is back, and I just made it. This meant refreshing the registration page every ten or so minutes with my class selections, since they were closed classes, and emailing the teachers, but I did it. The classes? In order, starting at eight in the morning, Ethics, Psychology II, Child Development, and Introduction to Literature. So, all writing-essay classes and lots of reading. I'm completely alright with that, though may end up even missing math. Balance in your activities is a wonderful thing...Homework shall keep me very busy.
So that's Tuesdays and Thursdays; Monday my little gaming crew generally has me kidnapped. I've really come to appreciate all of them during the summer, though funny Nic I sometimes have conflicts with. Our way of thinking is so horrifically different and the things we are willing to say...I become cruelly, honestly blunt around him and it's so not good for him, but I can't help it. He inspires feelings in me that aren't anywhere near positive, from the things he says. Especially when I know he's lying, though I adore him as a friend anyway.
Going to move on to nicknames. I think this is mostly to remind myself and to sort people out in my mind. It's so different, having become so quickly close with a group of people just because we all problem solve together, and I can see how they think and act.
Marna - Minor self esteem issues, but it's so cool that she takes psych classes too for her nursing degree. I like her, and she's actually a really stable, important part of the group. So cheerfully evil at times, too. She delights in domination, which always makes me smile to watch. When she's got a chance to kill your character? There are glittery sparkles in the air and I have to admire her wit and political mind.
Dymer - Not so sure about him sometimes. Intricately tied together with Marna's life and well-being, it's his all-too-perfect smile and way of acting, and then the quick and nearly painful comments he can make that have me offset with him. He's one of the two people that don't get a hug when the night is over, as I just can't warm up to him. A friend, but not a friend like the others. I'm trying to figure out how I can acclimate myself to him. Still trying to figure out in what way he isn't perfect, or what he's trying so hard to suppress.
Ohhei - He's so funny. Brilliant mind that comes up with beautifully and complexly twisted pieces of art for all of us to see. The things he writes, thinks, articulates, and then his tastes in general I so dearly approve of. Gentle, amusing, conscious, and just generally so aware and knowledgeable. Not necessarily a leader among the group, he's the most thoughtful by far, in every sense, meaning, and context of the word. I'm not sure where the group would go without him. Sometimes I wonder what makes him sad, as it's something there and near, but not in a place I can see.
Augo - The most book smart of the group. Well rounded sense of humor, modest, careful, creative, thoughtful too in his own ways...Sometimes I perceive him as sleepy, as he'll have his silent, passive moments...That's generally when he's plotting, I find. Sometimes he talks about things I don't understand at all, in the realm of math and science. He also brings up the most amazing videos, comical pictures and pieces, and generally tries to maintain group balance. He'll be running the next game, so I'll get to understand much more about him through what he does.
Wenve - Though everyone in this group has social quirks that you don't normally find, and their own problems and true places they excel, Wenve is in a difficult position, as far as describing him. I'm thinking he had a lot of trouble in the other grades, and he has a lot of similarities to me. Shy at times, physically powerful in the way that he can't sense pressure well, a little awkward, and with an altered sense of understanding and humor. We tend to relate each other, and wherever the plot goes or what ensues, our characters tend to pull together. He and I are on confusing terms right now. I'm not exactly sure what that means, and everyone's reactions, but we're definitely going to spend more time outside the group together. I think he needs someone to cling to that will take the time to understand him and actually care. Not that I'm a caring person, which I tried to explain to him. I'm really awful, and I'm worried that this boy who I perceive as delicate may see it sometime. Then again, he's got his dangerous side too. I really can't properly begin to explain how alike I sense us to be, outwardly and inwardly. Sort of makes me think our histories may be similar in some ways I would not wish on anyone.
Eohns - Police jokes abound, he's someone you can be really open with. When we all went to waterworld, I usually was hanging onto him for dear life in the wave pool, as even in the waves he's taller then it all...I place the supposition it might be criminal to actually dislike him. Despite the fact everyone, myself included, are so comfortable around him and his jokes, his indignation, his deep laughter, and his local color (I do mean literary, darn it!)...I know him so little. He doesn't let a lot on, though I know he's a good person. I know less about him then I do others (though not as little as Dymer and Parli). I'd like for him to be open sometime, so I can understand better. But I have no doubts about him, which equalizes things.
Speaking of Parli - I can't put a finger on him, but I'm disturbed by something. I couldn't actually tell whether he was a he or a her at first, but that's really not it. His characters show something about him that I do not sit well with. I know so little about him, though I am making an attempt. It's just how he thinks...it's...something is wrong. He is part of the group and I respect him and what he does, but I just can't describe why I'm bothered by him. I wasn't ever uneasy about anything in the group at all until he came in. His ideas are really good, but I think it will take a long while for me to properly warm up to him.
There are a few others here and there who haven't ever stayed, but are friends and colleagues of the others. They may come for later games. Seem to be good sorts of folk. The best thing to underline about everyone is that they are so accepting, and generally put the best foot forward to understanding and cooperating with people. I want to try hard to do that too, part of why I guess after so long it's time for me to map out my perceptions and see what I'm most drawn to or see most about folks.
So much going on with Wenve that I should write about later, when I see more and understand more. But I think this satisfies the need to write a journal entry, as people so rarely hear from me. My apologies about that. I just don't think to tell others about my life as much anymore, or interact quite so frequently.
Another upcoming thing that shall be addressed is my current family matters, including the impending visit from SS. The doom I feel is incomparable...
So that's Tuesdays and Thursdays; Monday my little gaming crew generally has me kidnapped. I've really come to appreciate all of them during the summer, though funny Nic I sometimes have conflicts with. Our way of thinking is so horrifically different and the things we are willing to say...I become cruelly, honestly blunt around him and it's so not good for him, but I can't help it. He inspires feelings in me that aren't anywhere near positive, from the things he says. Especially when I know he's lying, though I adore him as a friend anyway.
Going to move on to nicknames. I think this is mostly to remind myself and to sort people out in my mind. It's so different, having become so quickly close with a group of people just because we all problem solve together, and I can see how they think and act.
Marna - Minor self esteem issues, but it's so cool that she takes psych classes too for her nursing degree. I like her, and she's actually a really stable, important part of the group. So cheerfully evil at times, too. She delights in domination, which always makes me smile to watch. When she's got a chance to kill your character? There are glittery sparkles in the air and I have to admire her wit and political mind.
Dymer - Not so sure about him sometimes. Intricately tied together with Marna's life and well-being, it's his all-too-perfect smile and way of acting, and then the quick and nearly painful comments he can make that have me offset with him. He's one of the two people that don't get a hug when the night is over, as I just can't warm up to him. A friend, but not a friend like the others. I'm trying to figure out how I can acclimate myself to him. Still trying to figure out in what way he isn't perfect, or what he's trying so hard to suppress.
Ohhei - He's so funny. Brilliant mind that comes up with beautifully and complexly twisted pieces of art for all of us to see. The things he writes, thinks, articulates, and then his tastes in general I so dearly approve of. Gentle, amusing, conscious, and just generally so aware and knowledgeable. Not necessarily a leader among the group, he's the most thoughtful by far, in every sense, meaning, and context of the word. I'm not sure where the group would go without him. Sometimes I wonder what makes him sad, as it's something there and near, but not in a place I can see.
Augo - The most book smart of the group. Well rounded sense of humor, modest, careful, creative, thoughtful too in his own ways...Sometimes I perceive him as sleepy, as he'll have his silent, passive moments...That's generally when he's plotting, I find. Sometimes he talks about things I don't understand at all, in the realm of math and science. He also brings up the most amazing videos, comical pictures and pieces, and generally tries to maintain group balance. He'll be running the next game, so I'll get to understand much more about him through what he does.
Wenve - Though everyone in this group has social quirks that you don't normally find, and their own problems and true places they excel, Wenve is in a difficult position, as far as describing him. I'm thinking he had a lot of trouble in the other grades, and he has a lot of similarities to me. Shy at times, physically powerful in the way that he can't sense pressure well, a little awkward, and with an altered sense of understanding and humor. We tend to relate each other, and wherever the plot goes or what ensues, our characters tend to pull together. He and I are on confusing terms right now. I'm not exactly sure what that means, and everyone's reactions, but we're definitely going to spend more time outside the group together. I think he needs someone to cling to that will take the time to understand him and actually care. Not that I'm a caring person, which I tried to explain to him. I'm really awful, and I'm worried that this boy who I perceive as delicate may see it sometime. Then again, he's got his dangerous side too. I really can't properly begin to explain how alike I sense us to be, outwardly and inwardly. Sort of makes me think our histories may be similar in some ways I would not wish on anyone.
Eohns - Police jokes abound, he's someone you can be really open with. When we all went to waterworld, I usually was hanging onto him for dear life in the wave pool, as even in the waves he's taller then it all...I place the supposition it might be criminal to actually dislike him. Despite the fact everyone, myself included, are so comfortable around him and his jokes, his indignation, his deep laughter, and his local color (I do mean literary, darn it!)...I know him so little. He doesn't let a lot on, though I know he's a good person. I know less about him then I do others (though not as little as Dymer and Parli). I'd like for him to be open sometime, so I can understand better. But I have no doubts about him, which equalizes things.
Speaking of Parli - I can't put a finger on him, but I'm disturbed by something. I couldn't actually tell whether he was a he or a her at first, but that's really not it. His characters show something about him that I do not sit well with. I know so little about him, though I am making an attempt. It's just how he thinks...it's...something is wrong. He is part of the group and I respect him and what he does, but I just can't describe why I'm bothered by him. I wasn't ever uneasy about anything in the group at all until he came in. His ideas are really good, but I think it will take a long while for me to properly warm up to him.
There are a few others here and there who haven't ever stayed, but are friends and colleagues of the others. They may come for later games. Seem to be good sorts of folk. The best thing to underline about everyone is that they are so accepting, and generally put the best foot forward to understanding and cooperating with people. I want to try hard to do that too, part of why I guess after so long it's time for me to map out my perceptions and see what I'm most drawn to or see most about folks.
So much going on with Wenve that I should write about later, when I see more and understand more. But I think this satisfies the need to write a journal entry, as people so rarely hear from me. My apologies about that. I just don't think to tell others about my life as much anymore, or interact quite so frequently.
Another upcoming thing that shall be addressed is my current family matters, including the impending visit from SS. The doom I feel is incomparable...