Fic: Proof (1/1) Barney/Ted
Fandom: HIMYM
Pairing: Barney/Ted
Rating: NC-17 for M/M sex! Don't like, don't read.
Word Count: 3500, lol what.
Spoilers: Set post-6.19.
Summary: After meeting his real father, Barney's devastated. It's up to Ted to cheer him up.
Author's Note: I... I don't even know. This was friendship h/c that turned smutty. I'm sorry, but then, I'm not. (Also, first solo smut piece, first HIMYM fic in... um, forever. So concrit would be greatly appreciated!)
Barney can’t stop staring at the hoop.
He’s sitting on the newly finished floor of Ted’s future house, knees pulled up to his chest, as he has an intense stare-off with the stolen basketball hoop that leans innocuously against the half-finished wall. The place still reeks of drywall and spackle, two-by-fours and tarps and other mysterious tool-items strewn all over, left behind by the construction crew. But Barney just kind of soaks it all in, staring at the hoop as though trying to burn a hole in it, as though it’ll make the memories and goddamn feelings from tonight disappear.
“It’s not gonna blink, dude,” Ted says mildly from across the room, making Barney jump nonetheless. He has the blueprints for this dump pulled out, pencil out as he squints at the drawings in the inadequate light. Ever since Barney came back from his place, basketball hoop clenched in his hand, Ted’s been scouring those plans, trying to find the best place in his yard to build his nonexistent kids a basketball court. Barney scowls at him.
“I know that,” he grumps before letting out his breath in a huff. Ted looks over at him, setting his pencil down.
“Are you okay?” he asks gently, turning toward him.
Barney ignores him, intent on keeping the subject as far away from him as possible. “You know, I said it before, but you’re really missing out on a prime opportunity here, bro.” Jumping to his feet, he waves his arm at the far corner of what Ted was insisting would one day be the den, proclaiming, “Right over there, you could build your own bed big enough for a twelve-way! A twelve-way! Hell, you could probably even just convert this dump into your own strip club for the bros in the neighborhood. God knows this place could use a little excitement...”
But Ted, of course, is unmoved, instead looking at him with those brown eyes so full of goddamn pity that it actually hurts for Barney to keep looking at him, that acute gaze making him squirm. And as Barney turns away, of course his eyes land right back on the basketball hoop, so he stalks over to it, grabbing it by the top and saying “You know, we should just throw this out. Your quote-unquote ‘kids’ probably need a new one anyway...”
“Barney.” Ted’s voice is in his ear now, right behind him as a gentle hand rests on Barney’s shoulder. It’s supposed to be comforting, but it just makes Barney more tense. “I’m... sorry,” Ted goes on, a little more awkwardly. “I wish meeting your dad had gone better...”
At the sound of Jerry’s name, Barney shakes his head irritably, shrugging Ted’s hand off. “It’s not your fault,” he mumbles, dropping the damn backboard with a clatter that makes them both flinch. “It’s whatever, dude. So Jerry’s a lame... a lame suburban dad. Whatev.” He has to swallow the stupid lump that sprung up in his throat before he turns to face Ted. “Ain’t the end of the world, I’ll be fine, I’ll just go home and nail a chick or five and it’ll be awesome. Speaking of, are you done with your doodling yet or what? If we leave now maybe we can make it back to MacLaren’s before last call.”
But Ted just looks down at his lame sneakers, clearly struggling to form words. And it’s weird, because he’s never known Professor Motormouth to shut up about anything. But there he is, silent, clearly trying to find the right thing to say. “It’s just...” Ted says, shuffling his feet, “I don’t think you should write him off that easy. It’s gonna take a while for you two to really connect after thirty years, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Barney says bitterly, knocking Ted’s shoulder as he brushes past him. Somehow he’d known Ted would say something like that. His voice goes mockingly sing-song as he continues “Yeah, yeah, it’s gotta be hard for him too, meeting your long-lost kid, whatever, but you know Ted? I don’t care what he’s feeling right now. Hell, I barely know how I feel about all this shit. And right now, I just want to get out of here, knock back a few drinks with my best friends and forget for a little while.” Something warm and wet leaks out of the corner of his eye, and he brushes it away irritably before saying, in a voice that’s far too thick for his liking, “So... you know! Can we... forget?”
There’s a tiny part of him, that little spark of humanity he’s always trying to snuff, that feels guilty for shutting Ted down now when he’s trying to help, to comfort like he always does. But the words won’t come, feelings too busy tumbling around inside him like some kind of insane spin cycle to let his brain make words, so he keeps his mouth shut, staring Ted down, spending what little energy he has left trying to somehow will Ted to obey him, trying to keep himself from breaking down like a little girl.
But damn him, Ted keeps standing there, not caving right away but instead taking a few steps forward until he’s right in Barney’s space. He rests his hand on Barney’s shoulder once again before pulling him into a tight hug. “We can,” he murmurs, a hand running down Barney’s back, “but... before we do, are you sure you’re okay?”
He’s taken aback, because he’s never been this close to Ted before. Oh sure, they’ve hugged, but they’ve always been bro-hugs, chests bumping together for a brief second before releasing. But this, this is visceral, real, Ted’s arms wrapping around and soothing his body, holding him together right when Barney feels like he’s about to explode. And when he thinks back on his life, how many people have actually held him close like this, he clings even tighter, not wanting to be let go.
Ted’s his anchor right now, and damn it, he needs him.
He gulps. “No,” he admits in a small voice. “Hell, I don’t know, Ted...” What can you even say after being abandoned for thirty years? But Ted smells nice, clean and sort of strong, and he closes his eyes, turning so he can breathe in the smell of his neck. “I just... I wish this never happened. Writing him was... was s-stupid.”
His life had really been so much simpler when he’d been convinced his father was Bob Barker, before he knew about Jerry or JJ or the lame life in the suburbs that had been stolen from him. It was so much easier to think his dad was too busy supervising games of Plinko to come play catch with him after school, or maybe that his dad was off being some kind of fighter pilot-slash-rock star when Barney was trying to learn which end of the hammer to hold as he and James attempted to build a birdhouse.
Knowing the truth, that his dad is just some lame driving instructor from New Jersey who left him when he was six, is just too much.
Ted still hasn’t let go, one hand wandering up to smooth Barney’s hair. “Barney... that really sucks,” he says quietly, so sincere that it hurts. “I- I don’t know what to say. I haven’t been through anything like what you’ve been, but... you know that Jerry doesn’t have to be part of your family if you don’t want him to be, you know? At least now that you’ve met him, you have a choice to include him in your life.”
Barney gives a quiet snort of laughter. “Believe me, dude. The only way I’m ever coming back up here is to celebrate the opening of your strip club.” He pulls back just enough to give Ted a meaningful look.
Ted laughs first, then pulls a face. “It's not gonna be a strip club. But you are going to come visit me, right?”
He says it so casually, like it’s a given, but Barney’s stricken, the implications of that hitting him all at once. Crap, one day Ted’s actually going to live in this dump. He’s actually going to be married to some chick, going to spawn with her, going to leave Manhattan to come to the middle of nowhere so his spawn can learn to shoot hoops with the backboard he stole from his father...
He’s tightened his grip on Ted without even realizing it. But Ted’s noticed, and he ventures, “Um... Barney?”
He shakes his head. The world’s gone all swirly again, as he thinks about Ted moving out here and Lily and Marshall having kids and Robin moving to Morocco with some new guy while he stays in Manhattan for the rest of his life, going to the same bars, picking up bimbos, doing the same things when he’s 80 and trying to forget the friends that left him behind.
“Don’t... don’t just s-say that,” he says shakily, head bowing as he tries not to think about the future, of everything that’s gone beyond his control. “Not now...”
“Barney, we’ll still be friends,” Ted says, and even though it’s with that same kind of certainty he looks worried. “You know...” He offers Barney a grin. “Best friends?” But Barney just pulls him close again, clinging to him, afraid that if he lets go Ted might slip through his fingers.
Jeez, he’s never been this emotional, this weak. At least it’s only Ted here to see him like this.
“You don’t know that,” he finally says, his voice muffled by Ted’s blazer.
Ted’s fingers weave their way through his hair once more, sending tingles through him. “Yes,” he says firmly, “I do. Because, sure, one day I’m gonna do the whole ‘lame suburban dad’ thing, maybe swap gardening tips with your bio-dad. But the difference between me and Jerry is, I won’t ever abandon you like he did.”
Barney pulls back sharply at that, still holding onto Ted but looking into his eyes, needing to know that he’s telling the truth. Because he wants to trust Ted, but he feels so burned after Jerry, after everything. And he’s never been a trusting man, not even with his closest friends. Especially not with Ted. He knows, he just knows that one day, Ted could decide to de-bro him all over again. And hell, moving out here might as well be de-broing.
Ted can’t promise he won’t abandon Barney when it’s already happened.
“Prove it,” Barney whispers.
For a moment, Ted just blinks, clearly shocked. “W-what?”
“Prove it,” Barney repeats more clearly. “You... you cut me loose once before, dude. And you’re telling me that won’t happen again? Prove. It.”
He sees Ted bite his lip, wide-eyed and blinking, and he can practically see the cogs running beneath Ted’s thick black hair. He sees Ted’s eyes flutter closed, feels his grip tighten on the small of his back.
But he’s not prepared when Ted’s mouth comes crashing into his in a firm, steady kiss.
Barney gasps into Ted’s mouth as it covers his own, Ted’s teeth pressing gently into his lower lip. The kiss steals his breath, makes his head reel, and when Ted’s fingers press into the small of his back and pull him closer, he can’t help but reach out and curve a hand against his cheek. But after a moment or two, Barney pulls away.
“What are you doing?” he asks breathlessly, hoarsely.
Ted’s gasping for breath, seemingly afraid to meet Barney’s eyes. “You-you said you needed proof...” he murmurs, cheeks coloring before he looks up at Barney. “Right?” There’s real fear in those big brown eyes of his, Barney can see it. Like some kind of curtain’s just pulled back, exposing him. So even though Barney has no clue what the hell’s happening, he offers Ted a lopsided, hesitant smile.
“Well, I’m not asking you to stop...” he mumbles, fingers tightening in the front of Ted’s blazer like he’s clinging to a lifeline. Ted nods imperceptibly, tongue swiping across his lip before he moves back in. It’s more aggressive this time, more insistent, and it makes Barney’s toes curl and his fingertips dig into Ted’s waist, because this is exactly how he likes to be kissed, all cool seduction and hot mouth. And it’s a little weird because he can feel Ted’s stubble scrape across his chin, and, well, it’s Ted, but he’s doing things with his tongue that the bimbos at MacLaren’s don’t even know how to spell, and it feels good -- god it feels so good -- that Barney can’t help but moan into his best friend’s mouth, all thoughts of weirdness forgotten.
“You really think I’d leave you?” Ted murmurs, trailing wet kisses along his jawline, head dipping as he sucks at his pulse point. “You know I’m hopeless without my wingman.” That clever tongue darts out to swipe across Barney’s skin, and he actually shudders. He wants so badly to believe what Ted’s saying, but he doesn’t know if he can.
“You l-left b-before,” he ventures, gasping as Ted nibbles at his Adam’s apple, a breathy groan escaping from him. “And you just s-said you’re gonna do it again...” His eyes fill with tears, because he knows once he loses Ted, that’s it for him. He’ll lose his in with the group, all his friends drifting out of his life and leaving him alone.
And Ted’s certainly not going to have any qualms about leaving him. He’s never needed Barney the way he needs him.
“I said I was going to move here, but... not for a very long time,” Ted says with a slow kind of zen, laying gentle kisses on his cheek, brushing his fingers through Barney’s hair. It sends a weird calm through him, and Ted goes on, “Dude... don’t think about it now,” before swooping in to kiss him again, stealing his breath, his tongue slipping between Barney’s lips to swirl around inside his mouth. God, Ted’s really into it, which kind of surprises him, because he never imagined his bro might be into dudes. But he falls into it, doesn’t even dream of resisting, because Ted’s always had that way of being able to worm past his defenses, get right to his heart.
And the way Ted kisses, the dirty feel of his bro’s tongue sliding against his, feels so forbidden, so secret, that he’s hard within minutes. They move together until Barney’s back is pressed against the wall, and he grinds his hips hard against Ted’s, desperate, needing to connect with him, to hold him and never let him go. Hands tangle in each other’s hair, slide along one another’s bodies as they kiss urgently, hips bucking frantically, Ted just as hard as he is. And Barney’s so caught up in it that he doesn’t realize Ted’s fingers are worming their way under his shirt, slowly undoing his buttons, until his shirt’s already hanging open and Ted’s fingertips are digging hard into his sides, sliding down over the front of his pants.
Barney almost chokes as he feels Ted’s fingers, nimble, sensitive, dance over his groin, trace his aching erection. “God- Ted!” he bursts, desperate for more, unable to make coherent words. And before he really knows what’s happening, Ted’s fingers are fumbling with Barney’s belt, pulling down his zipper with a harsh rasp, while he mouths his way down Barney’s neck, along his shoulder, kissing the skin directly over his heart. There’s a sound halfway between a shout and a sob caught in Barney’s throat, but when Ted sinks to his knees, tugging Barney’s pants and underwear down and wrapping his lips around the head of his cock, it all comes out as a stream of expletives instead.
Ted’s lips slide along his shaft, wrapping a hand around Barney as he sucks with all his might, the dark head bobbing over Barney’s groin, and the sight makes his knees buckle. “Fuck!” he breathes, eyes rolling back in his head as the waves of pleasure wash over him until all he knows is the feel of Ted’s tongue sliding along his shaft, the heat of his mouth drawing him in. And the sight of Ted kneeling before him, worshiping his body like this, is so damn hot, something he never thought he’d see outside of his wildest fantasies.
Because for crying out loud, this is Ted, that most forbidden of targets. He could screw this up and lose Ted forever.
Blindly, he reaches out to tangle a hand in Ted’s hair, all the damn product he uses making it stiff and sticky, not sure if he means to push Ted away or not. But his touch only seems to encourage Ted, to make him suck harder, faster, pinning Barney’s hips against the wall with his hands and making all thought of stopping this fly right out of Barney’s head. And when Ted hums, the sound traveling from his throat all the way into Barney’s balls, he lets out a strangled cry that echoes all around the room, hips rocking as he thrusts into Ted’s mouth.
He comes in a flash of brilliant pleasure, ecstasy and security as Ted holds onto him through his orgasm, continuing to suck him off until he’s left boneless and panting, held up by the sturdy yet rough wall and by Ted’s strong fingers still pressed into his hips. He’s vaguely aware of Ted grunting, panting, and as he looks down he sees Ted has his jeans down around his knees, one hand wrapped around his erection as he pumps furiously. Barney rests a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.
“Let me, dude,” he murmurs, pulling Ted to his feet, and before Ted can really protest Barney’s standing behind him, one hand working its way under the hem of his T-shirt while the other wraps around his bro’s cock. It’s thicker than his own, a little differently shaped, but hey, Ted just had him in his mouth and he’s not going to let himself get left behind. He tightens his fist, pumping Ted’s erection fast and furious, and Ted moans loudly, his head falling back against Barney’s shoulder, murmuring half-bitten off words as he reaches his own completion, come spilling over Barney’s fingers and spraying all over the wall.
He lets go of Ted with shaky fingers, both of them slumping to the dusty floor. Barney’s arm is still wrapped protectively around his bro’s torso as they breathe together, Ted draped across Barney’s lap. Ted’s skin is so warm beneath his fingers, a lazy, contented smile drifting across his bro’s face... but it feels tainted somehow because it’s like Barney just seduced his best friend into staying with him, guilting him out of moving into this house with the family he’s so desperately wanted for years.
“I’m s-sorry,” he mutters, still holding Ted in his arms. Ted just looks at him in surprise before chuckling.
“Dude, never apologize for amazing sex.” Ted reaches around, cupping Barney’s face in his hand before kissing him softly on the lips, chaste but lingering. “Look, you... you needed this. You’ve kind of had a rough night.”
Barney just nods numbly in agreement. Jeez, is it really possible that this all started by having dinner with his dad? Wrapped up in Ted’s half-naked body now, Ted’s hand gently combing through his hair, it’s kind of hard to fathom.
“Yeah,” he says, looking away, embarrassed. Because the truth is, the weirdest part of this isn’t that Ted’s a dude. It’s that he knows him, actually knows him in the way that none of his previous sexual partners, except maybe Robin, ever did. He’s never felt anywhere near this vulnerable, like Ted’s just stripped away all his armor in a single blow and he has nowhere to hide. And maybe Ted senses that, so he pulls his hand away, sitting up a little.
“Look,” he says softly, but when Barney looks at him he can see Ted’s hand outstretched, reaching to the wall that’s still streaked white with Ted’s come. Barney watches, transfixed, as Ted runs two of his fingers through it, slowly but surely drawing the outline of a B onto the wall, etching the stain of their indiscretion forever into the plaster. His wife will see it every time she comes in here, his kids will run by it as they play.
“There,” says Ted with some satisfaction, turning back to him. “You see? You were here first.”
He smiles at him, those big brown eyes crinkling at the corners, and it’s soft, gentle, yet so assured that Barney finally lets go of his doubts and trusts him. He can’t help but hang onto that hope that Ted won’t forget him. And as he pulls Ted close once more, leaning back on a folded tarp so Ted can rest his head on Barney’s chest, he just hopes Ted doesn’t notice that, when he grabs his fingers and holds onto them, he’s secretly tracing a T onto his stomach.
Pairing: Barney/Ted
Rating: NC-17 for M/M sex! Don't like, don't read.
Word Count: 3500, lol what.
Spoilers: Set post-6.19.
Summary: After meeting his real father, Barney's devastated. It's up to Ted to cheer him up.
Author's Note: I... I don't even know. This was friendship h/c that turned smutty. I'm sorry, but then, I'm not. (Also, first solo smut piece, first HIMYM fic in... um, forever. So concrit would be greatly appreciated!)
Barney can’t stop staring at the hoop.
He’s sitting on the newly finished floor of Ted’s future house, knees pulled up to his chest, as he has an intense stare-off with the stolen basketball hoop that leans innocuously against the half-finished wall. The place still reeks of drywall and spackle, two-by-fours and tarps and other mysterious tool-items strewn all over, left behind by the construction crew. But Barney just kind of soaks it all in, staring at the hoop as though trying to burn a hole in it, as though it’ll make the memories and goddamn feelings from tonight disappear.
“It’s not gonna blink, dude,” Ted says mildly from across the room, making Barney jump nonetheless. He has the blueprints for this dump pulled out, pencil out as he squints at the drawings in the inadequate light. Ever since Barney came back from his place, basketball hoop clenched in his hand, Ted’s been scouring those plans, trying to find the best place in his yard to build his nonexistent kids a basketball court. Barney scowls at him.
“I know that,” he grumps before letting out his breath in a huff. Ted looks over at him, setting his pencil down.
“Are you okay?” he asks gently, turning toward him.
Barney ignores him, intent on keeping the subject as far away from him as possible. “You know, I said it before, but you’re really missing out on a prime opportunity here, bro.” Jumping to his feet, he waves his arm at the far corner of what Ted was insisting would one day be the den, proclaiming, “Right over there, you could build your own bed big enough for a twelve-way! A twelve-way! Hell, you could probably even just convert this dump into your own strip club for the bros in the neighborhood. God knows this place could use a little excitement...”
But Ted, of course, is unmoved, instead looking at him with those brown eyes so full of goddamn pity that it actually hurts for Barney to keep looking at him, that acute gaze making him squirm. And as Barney turns away, of course his eyes land right back on the basketball hoop, so he stalks over to it, grabbing it by the top and saying “You know, we should just throw this out. Your quote-unquote ‘kids’ probably need a new one anyway...”
“Barney.” Ted’s voice is in his ear now, right behind him as a gentle hand rests on Barney’s shoulder. It’s supposed to be comforting, but it just makes Barney more tense. “I’m... sorry,” Ted goes on, a little more awkwardly. “I wish meeting your dad had gone better...”
At the sound of Jerry’s name, Barney shakes his head irritably, shrugging Ted’s hand off. “It’s not your fault,” he mumbles, dropping the damn backboard with a clatter that makes them both flinch. “It’s whatever, dude. So Jerry’s a lame... a lame suburban dad. Whatev.” He has to swallow the stupid lump that sprung up in his throat before he turns to face Ted. “Ain’t the end of the world, I’ll be fine, I’ll just go home and nail a chick or five and it’ll be awesome. Speaking of, are you done with your doodling yet or what? If we leave now maybe we can make it back to MacLaren’s before last call.”
But Ted just looks down at his lame sneakers, clearly struggling to form words. And it’s weird, because he’s never known Professor Motormouth to shut up about anything. But there he is, silent, clearly trying to find the right thing to say. “It’s just...” Ted says, shuffling his feet, “I don’t think you should write him off that easy. It’s gonna take a while for you two to really connect after thirty years, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Barney says bitterly, knocking Ted’s shoulder as he brushes past him. Somehow he’d known Ted would say something like that. His voice goes mockingly sing-song as he continues “Yeah, yeah, it’s gotta be hard for him too, meeting your long-lost kid, whatever, but you know Ted? I don’t care what he’s feeling right now. Hell, I barely know how I feel about all this shit. And right now, I just want to get out of here, knock back a few drinks with my best friends and forget for a little while.” Something warm and wet leaks out of the corner of his eye, and he brushes it away irritably before saying, in a voice that’s far too thick for his liking, “So... you know! Can we... forget?”
There’s a tiny part of him, that little spark of humanity he’s always trying to snuff, that feels guilty for shutting Ted down now when he’s trying to help, to comfort like he always does. But the words won’t come, feelings too busy tumbling around inside him like some kind of insane spin cycle to let his brain make words, so he keeps his mouth shut, staring Ted down, spending what little energy he has left trying to somehow will Ted to obey him, trying to keep himself from breaking down like a little girl.
But damn him, Ted keeps standing there, not caving right away but instead taking a few steps forward until he’s right in Barney’s space. He rests his hand on Barney’s shoulder once again before pulling him into a tight hug. “We can,” he murmurs, a hand running down Barney’s back, “but... before we do, are you sure you’re okay?”
He’s taken aback, because he’s never been this close to Ted before. Oh sure, they’ve hugged, but they’ve always been bro-hugs, chests bumping together for a brief second before releasing. But this, this is visceral, real, Ted’s arms wrapping around and soothing his body, holding him together right when Barney feels like he’s about to explode. And when he thinks back on his life, how many people have actually held him close like this, he clings even tighter, not wanting to be let go.
Ted’s his anchor right now, and damn it, he needs him.
He gulps. “No,” he admits in a small voice. “Hell, I don’t know, Ted...” What can you even say after being abandoned for thirty years? But Ted smells nice, clean and sort of strong, and he closes his eyes, turning so he can breathe in the smell of his neck. “I just... I wish this never happened. Writing him was... was s-stupid.”
His life had really been so much simpler when he’d been convinced his father was Bob Barker, before he knew about Jerry or JJ or the lame life in the suburbs that had been stolen from him. It was so much easier to think his dad was too busy supervising games of Plinko to come play catch with him after school, or maybe that his dad was off being some kind of fighter pilot-slash-rock star when Barney was trying to learn which end of the hammer to hold as he and James attempted to build a birdhouse.
Knowing the truth, that his dad is just some lame driving instructor from New Jersey who left him when he was six, is just too much.
Ted still hasn’t let go, one hand wandering up to smooth Barney’s hair. “Barney... that really sucks,” he says quietly, so sincere that it hurts. “I- I don’t know what to say. I haven’t been through anything like what you’ve been, but... you know that Jerry doesn’t have to be part of your family if you don’t want him to be, you know? At least now that you’ve met him, you have a choice to include him in your life.”
Barney gives a quiet snort of laughter. “Believe me, dude. The only way I’m ever coming back up here is to celebrate the opening of your strip club.” He pulls back just enough to give Ted a meaningful look.
Ted laughs first, then pulls a face. “It's not gonna be a strip club. But you are going to come visit me, right?”
He says it so casually, like it’s a given, but Barney’s stricken, the implications of that hitting him all at once. Crap, one day Ted’s actually going to live in this dump. He’s actually going to be married to some chick, going to spawn with her, going to leave Manhattan to come to the middle of nowhere so his spawn can learn to shoot hoops with the backboard he stole from his father...
He’s tightened his grip on Ted without even realizing it. But Ted’s noticed, and he ventures, “Um... Barney?”
He shakes his head. The world’s gone all swirly again, as he thinks about Ted moving out here and Lily and Marshall having kids and Robin moving to Morocco with some new guy while he stays in Manhattan for the rest of his life, going to the same bars, picking up bimbos, doing the same things when he’s 80 and trying to forget the friends that left him behind.
“Don’t... don’t just s-say that,” he says shakily, head bowing as he tries not to think about the future, of everything that’s gone beyond his control. “Not now...”
“Barney, we’ll still be friends,” Ted says, and even though it’s with that same kind of certainty he looks worried. “You know...” He offers Barney a grin. “Best friends?” But Barney just pulls him close again, clinging to him, afraid that if he lets go Ted might slip through his fingers.
Jeez, he’s never been this emotional, this weak. At least it’s only Ted here to see him like this.
“You don’t know that,” he finally says, his voice muffled by Ted’s blazer.
Ted’s fingers weave their way through his hair once more, sending tingles through him. “Yes,” he says firmly, “I do. Because, sure, one day I’m gonna do the whole ‘lame suburban dad’ thing, maybe swap gardening tips with your bio-dad. But the difference between me and Jerry is, I won’t ever abandon you like he did.”
Barney pulls back sharply at that, still holding onto Ted but looking into his eyes, needing to know that he’s telling the truth. Because he wants to trust Ted, but he feels so burned after Jerry, after everything. And he’s never been a trusting man, not even with his closest friends. Especially not with Ted. He knows, he just knows that one day, Ted could decide to de-bro him all over again. And hell, moving out here might as well be de-broing.
Ted can’t promise he won’t abandon Barney when it’s already happened.
“Prove it,” Barney whispers.
For a moment, Ted just blinks, clearly shocked. “W-what?”
“Prove it,” Barney repeats more clearly. “You... you cut me loose once before, dude. And you’re telling me that won’t happen again? Prove. It.”
He sees Ted bite his lip, wide-eyed and blinking, and he can practically see the cogs running beneath Ted’s thick black hair. He sees Ted’s eyes flutter closed, feels his grip tighten on the small of his back.
But he’s not prepared when Ted’s mouth comes crashing into his in a firm, steady kiss.
Barney gasps into Ted’s mouth as it covers his own, Ted’s teeth pressing gently into his lower lip. The kiss steals his breath, makes his head reel, and when Ted’s fingers press into the small of his back and pull him closer, he can’t help but reach out and curve a hand against his cheek. But after a moment or two, Barney pulls away.
“What are you doing?” he asks breathlessly, hoarsely.
Ted’s gasping for breath, seemingly afraid to meet Barney’s eyes. “You-you said you needed proof...” he murmurs, cheeks coloring before he looks up at Barney. “Right?” There’s real fear in those big brown eyes of his, Barney can see it. Like some kind of curtain’s just pulled back, exposing him. So even though Barney has no clue what the hell’s happening, he offers Ted a lopsided, hesitant smile.
“Well, I’m not asking you to stop...” he mumbles, fingers tightening in the front of Ted’s blazer like he’s clinging to a lifeline. Ted nods imperceptibly, tongue swiping across his lip before he moves back in. It’s more aggressive this time, more insistent, and it makes Barney’s toes curl and his fingertips dig into Ted’s waist, because this is exactly how he likes to be kissed, all cool seduction and hot mouth. And it’s a little weird because he can feel Ted’s stubble scrape across his chin, and, well, it’s Ted, but he’s doing things with his tongue that the bimbos at MacLaren’s don’t even know how to spell, and it feels good -- god it feels so good -- that Barney can’t help but moan into his best friend’s mouth, all thoughts of weirdness forgotten.
“You really think I’d leave you?” Ted murmurs, trailing wet kisses along his jawline, head dipping as he sucks at his pulse point. “You know I’m hopeless without my wingman.” That clever tongue darts out to swipe across Barney’s skin, and he actually shudders. He wants so badly to believe what Ted’s saying, but he doesn’t know if he can.
“You l-left b-before,” he ventures, gasping as Ted nibbles at his Adam’s apple, a breathy groan escaping from him. “And you just s-said you’re gonna do it again...” His eyes fill with tears, because he knows once he loses Ted, that’s it for him. He’ll lose his in with the group, all his friends drifting out of his life and leaving him alone.
And Ted’s certainly not going to have any qualms about leaving him. He’s never needed Barney the way he needs him.
“I said I was going to move here, but... not for a very long time,” Ted says with a slow kind of zen, laying gentle kisses on his cheek, brushing his fingers through Barney’s hair. It sends a weird calm through him, and Ted goes on, “Dude... don’t think about it now,” before swooping in to kiss him again, stealing his breath, his tongue slipping between Barney’s lips to swirl around inside his mouth. God, Ted’s really into it, which kind of surprises him, because he never imagined his bro might be into dudes. But he falls into it, doesn’t even dream of resisting, because Ted’s always had that way of being able to worm past his defenses, get right to his heart.
And the way Ted kisses, the dirty feel of his bro’s tongue sliding against his, feels so forbidden, so secret, that he’s hard within minutes. They move together until Barney’s back is pressed against the wall, and he grinds his hips hard against Ted’s, desperate, needing to connect with him, to hold him and never let him go. Hands tangle in each other’s hair, slide along one another’s bodies as they kiss urgently, hips bucking frantically, Ted just as hard as he is. And Barney’s so caught up in it that he doesn’t realize Ted’s fingers are worming their way under his shirt, slowly undoing his buttons, until his shirt’s already hanging open and Ted’s fingertips are digging hard into his sides, sliding down over the front of his pants.
Barney almost chokes as he feels Ted’s fingers, nimble, sensitive, dance over his groin, trace his aching erection. “God- Ted!” he bursts, desperate for more, unable to make coherent words. And before he really knows what’s happening, Ted’s fingers are fumbling with Barney’s belt, pulling down his zipper with a harsh rasp, while he mouths his way down Barney’s neck, along his shoulder, kissing the skin directly over his heart. There’s a sound halfway between a shout and a sob caught in Barney’s throat, but when Ted sinks to his knees, tugging Barney’s pants and underwear down and wrapping his lips around the head of his cock, it all comes out as a stream of expletives instead.
Ted’s lips slide along his shaft, wrapping a hand around Barney as he sucks with all his might, the dark head bobbing over Barney’s groin, and the sight makes his knees buckle. “Fuck!” he breathes, eyes rolling back in his head as the waves of pleasure wash over him until all he knows is the feel of Ted’s tongue sliding along his shaft, the heat of his mouth drawing him in. And the sight of Ted kneeling before him, worshiping his body like this, is so damn hot, something he never thought he’d see outside of his wildest fantasies.
Because for crying out loud, this is Ted, that most forbidden of targets. He could screw this up and lose Ted forever.
Blindly, he reaches out to tangle a hand in Ted’s hair, all the damn product he uses making it stiff and sticky, not sure if he means to push Ted away or not. But his touch only seems to encourage Ted, to make him suck harder, faster, pinning Barney’s hips against the wall with his hands and making all thought of stopping this fly right out of Barney’s head. And when Ted hums, the sound traveling from his throat all the way into Barney’s balls, he lets out a strangled cry that echoes all around the room, hips rocking as he thrusts into Ted’s mouth.
He comes in a flash of brilliant pleasure, ecstasy and security as Ted holds onto him through his orgasm, continuing to suck him off until he’s left boneless and panting, held up by the sturdy yet rough wall and by Ted’s strong fingers still pressed into his hips. He’s vaguely aware of Ted grunting, panting, and as he looks down he sees Ted has his jeans down around his knees, one hand wrapped around his erection as he pumps furiously. Barney rests a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.
“Let me, dude,” he murmurs, pulling Ted to his feet, and before Ted can really protest Barney’s standing behind him, one hand working its way under the hem of his T-shirt while the other wraps around his bro’s cock. It’s thicker than his own, a little differently shaped, but hey, Ted just had him in his mouth and he’s not going to let himself get left behind. He tightens his fist, pumping Ted’s erection fast and furious, and Ted moans loudly, his head falling back against Barney’s shoulder, murmuring half-bitten off words as he reaches his own completion, come spilling over Barney’s fingers and spraying all over the wall.
He lets go of Ted with shaky fingers, both of them slumping to the dusty floor. Barney’s arm is still wrapped protectively around his bro’s torso as they breathe together, Ted draped across Barney’s lap. Ted’s skin is so warm beneath his fingers, a lazy, contented smile drifting across his bro’s face... but it feels tainted somehow because it’s like Barney just seduced his best friend into staying with him, guilting him out of moving into this house with the family he’s so desperately wanted for years.
“I’m s-sorry,” he mutters, still holding Ted in his arms. Ted just looks at him in surprise before chuckling.
“Dude, never apologize for amazing sex.” Ted reaches around, cupping Barney’s face in his hand before kissing him softly on the lips, chaste but lingering. “Look, you... you needed this. You’ve kind of had a rough night.”
Barney just nods numbly in agreement. Jeez, is it really possible that this all started by having dinner with his dad? Wrapped up in Ted’s half-naked body now, Ted’s hand gently combing through his hair, it’s kind of hard to fathom.
“Yeah,” he says, looking away, embarrassed. Because the truth is, the weirdest part of this isn’t that Ted’s a dude. It’s that he knows him, actually knows him in the way that none of his previous sexual partners, except maybe Robin, ever did. He’s never felt anywhere near this vulnerable, like Ted’s just stripped away all his armor in a single blow and he has nowhere to hide. And maybe Ted senses that, so he pulls his hand away, sitting up a little.
“Look,” he says softly, but when Barney looks at him he can see Ted’s hand outstretched, reaching to the wall that’s still streaked white with Ted’s come. Barney watches, transfixed, as Ted runs two of his fingers through it, slowly but surely drawing the outline of a B onto the wall, etching the stain of their indiscretion forever into the plaster. His wife will see it every time she comes in here, his kids will run by it as they play.
“There,” says Ted with some satisfaction, turning back to him. “You see? You were here first.”
He smiles at him, those big brown eyes crinkling at the corners, and it’s soft, gentle, yet so assured that Barney finally lets go of his doubts and trusts him. He can’t help but hang onto that hope that Ted won’t forget him. And as he pulls Ted close once more, leaning back on a folded tarp so Ted can rest his head on Barney’s chest, he just hopes Ted doesn’t notice that, when he grabs his fingers and holds onto them, he’s secretly tracing a T onto his stomach.