A twisted soul, the mortar- despair, the bricks- to build a temple to sadness
Well, for those of you who hacven't seen me being all depressed, more-so than usual, today, to explain why, the person I loved has told me that they in fact like some-one else. I shall still not name that person, so I don't cause any unnecessary gossip. As usual with my Lj, I shall use a song to show my feelings better than I ever could. So here's 'Swimming Upstream', by Ra:
The sun disappeared right before my eyes
My heart turned and walked away
I gave you the keys to an open door
And you threw them right back at me
Once again I'm alone with a pain in my chest
So sad, so sad, so alone
The clouds start to gather, here comes the rain
You meant more than you could know
I can't say I miss you
You're always around
I can't say I love you
'Cause you'll cut me down
I'm wounded and hurt
And that's my fault
But I made my decision with my back to the wall
And I gotta move on from here
I've done all that I can do
Yeah I gotta move on from here
I've been swimming upstream for you
As time passes by, I can't explain
It's hard to be next to you
Is it my face or is it everything
That you're not attracted to?
I'm so lost and confused when I look at you
Your eyes, your lips, so soft
And then when you see me, I turn away
'Cause I know that I turn you off
I can't say I miss you
You're always around
I can't say I love you
'Cause you'll cut me down
I'm wounded and hurt
And that's my fault
But I made my decision with my back to the wall
And I gotta move on from here
I've done all that I can do
Yeah I gotta move on from here
I've been swimming upstream for you
I've been swimming upstream for you
I've been swimming upstream for you
Yeah, I've been swimming upstream for you
I've been swimming upstream for you
And also, 'And Love Said No', by H.I.M.
And loves light blue
Led me to you
Through all the emptiness that had become my home
Love's lies cruel
Introduced me to you
And that moment I knew I was out of hope
kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
For dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Love's icy tomb
Dug open for you
Lies in a cemetery that bares my name
Love's violent tune
From me to you
Rips your heart out and leaves you
Bleeding with a smile on your face
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
For dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Loves light blue
Took me from you
And that moment I knew I was out of hope
Again
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
For dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Love said no
And love said no
And lastly, quotes from the Crow, the best guide to sadness there is:
"In the city, where angels fear to hover and devils come to croon, the sex of the night lets down her black narcotic hair under a yellow opium moon. Here a shadow of a shadow, an earth-bound ghost shivers, not from October chill, but from pain. He says to his dead lover, "we should never have come here, with flesh so soft, and hearts so unwise, but like tigers in tall, tall grass, like Christ in the gardens of Gethsemane, we sucked in our fear and we came here. "Now all the atrocoties are replayed like a late, late show. "We came here but we never should have stayed. Though we had inertia and radius and depth, we took the last train with velocity and passed our own deaths." So the Crow spirals down through a collapsed dream, and the only sound he makes is like a concave scream."
Yes, that is how the last part is written.
"My Valentine has hollow eyes."
"There is more than one way to purify the soul...There is absolution and redemption, salvation and a means to an end... And if some of these axioms are of opposing polarities... there is, at least, some consolation in the fact that they have a common ground."
And finally, a poem from it, entitled Despair:
"Here dwells a snake, one thousand miles long
Coiled, one thousand miles deep
Eyes like candy, it has eyes like candy
Hard and blue, but soft as kittens feet
Out of sight, or in the element of light
It could be a devil, it could be an angel
With spiders inside, a vision from Hell
Its spine is a vertical scream
Slow as concrete, blurred as a dream
It spins round and down on an axis of atrocity
Fuelled by inertia, depth, radius, and velocity,
It's soul - a twisted wreckage of despair and pain
And the spiders inside are praying for rain
Killing time, killing time
And praying for rain
One thousand miles deep"
The most annoying thing about this loss, is I merely feel numb. Sadness you can get rid of, you can let it out, but numbness, you can't do anything with... Just let it die off, which looks like it will take a long time...
The sun disappeared right before my eyes
My heart turned and walked away
I gave you the keys to an open door
And you threw them right back at me
Once again I'm alone with a pain in my chest
So sad, so sad, so alone
The clouds start to gather, here comes the rain
You meant more than you could know
I can't say I miss you
You're always around
I can't say I love you
'Cause you'll cut me down
I'm wounded and hurt
And that's my fault
But I made my decision with my back to the wall
And I gotta move on from here
I've done all that I can do
Yeah I gotta move on from here
I've been swimming upstream for you
As time passes by, I can't explain
It's hard to be next to you
Is it my face or is it everything
That you're not attracted to?
I'm so lost and confused when I look at you
Your eyes, your lips, so soft
And then when you see me, I turn away
'Cause I know that I turn you off
I can't say I miss you
You're always around
I can't say I love you
'Cause you'll cut me down
I'm wounded and hurt
And that's my fault
But I made my decision with my back to the wall
And I gotta move on from here
I've done all that I can do
Yeah I gotta move on from here
I've been swimming upstream for you
I've been swimming upstream for you
I've been swimming upstream for you
Yeah, I've been swimming upstream for you
I've been swimming upstream for you
And also, 'And Love Said No', by H.I.M.
And loves light blue
Led me to you
Through all the emptiness that had become my home
Love's lies cruel
Introduced me to you
And that moment I knew I was out of hope
kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
For dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Love's icy tomb
Dug open for you
Lies in a cemetery that bares my name
Love's violent tune
From me to you
Rips your heart out and leaves you
Bleeding with a smile on your face
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
For dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Loves light blue
Took me from you
And that moment I knew I was out of hope
Again
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
For dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Love said no
And love said no
And lastly, quotes from the Crow, the best guide to sadness there is:
"In the city, where angels fear to hover and devils come to croon, the sex of the night lets down her black narcotic hair under a yellow opium moon. Here a shadow of a shadow, an earth-bound ghost shivers, not from October chill, but from pain. He says to his dead lover, "we should never have come here, with flesh so soft, and hearts so unwise, but like tigers in tall, tall grass, like Christ in the gardens of Gethsemane, we sucked in our fear and we came here. "Now all the atrocoties are replayed like a late, late show. "We came here but we never should have stayed. Though we had inertia and radius and depth, we took the last train with velocity and passed our own deaths." So the Crow spirals down through a collapsed dream, and the only sound he makes is like a concave scream."
Yes, that is how the last part is written.
"My Valentine has hollow eyes."
"There is more than one way to purify the soul...There is absolution and redemption, salvation and a means to an end... And if some of these axioms are of opposing polarities... there is, at least, some consolation in the fact that they have a common ground."
And finally, a poem from it, entitled Despair:
"Here dwells a snake, one thousand miles long
Coiled, one thousand miles deep
Eyes like candy, it has eyes like candy
Hard and blue, but soft as kittens feet
Out of sight, or in the element of light
It could be a devil, it could be an angel
With spiders inside, a vision from Hell
Its spine is a vertical scream
Slow as concrete, blurred as a dream
It spins round and down on an axis of atrocity
Fuelled by inertia, depth, radius, and velocity,
It's soul - a twisted wreckage of despair and pain
And the spiders inside are praying for rain
Killing time, killing time
And praying for rain
One thousand miles deep"
The most annoying thing about this loss, is I merely feel numb. Sadness you can get rid of, you can let it out, but numbness, you can't do anything with... Just let it die off, which looks like it will take a long time...