[audio] backdated to approx. a day after Pogo's post

[not_aquaman]

[have a fairly muffled voice post, folks.]

Alright, someone had better get the fuck over here and dig me up, yeah? Preferably before I run out of air or choke to death on the soil! And while you're at it, go tell the little mute cuntkicker with the horse that he owes me big-time now--at least 500 quid!

Comments

[xinshanquangal]

Okay, I don't know how th' fuck you're alive if yer buried like that or what, but if yer talkin' about who I think you are, that "little mute cuntkicker" comes from a time period where they don't eve have a fuckin' concept of money yet, so tryin' to charge him is fuckin' useless.

[not_aquaman]

Immortality, my friend! Very useful power. Would be a lot more useful if people would stop fucking burying me every time I died, but what are you gonna do, eh?

And I guess that just means he'll have to be my slave until he works off the money he owes me. And the first thing I, as his slavemaster, demand is for him to dig me up. He buries me, he gets to...un-bury me.

[xinshanquangal]

Immortality, huh? Don't sound all it's cracked up to be.

Well, I suppose I can tell th' little guy to unbury you, but good fuckin' luck getting him to be a slave. He's a fiesty bastard who could probably level a house with his head.

[not_aquaman]

Pfft, you're just jealous. You wish you could get your brains blown out and get back up in time for dinner! [y'know. Despite the repeated burials. And the pain--both during death and after he gets back up.]

Well, what do you propose, then? You can't just let the fucker go free after he killed me, there's a law about it! ...somewhere! I deserve some sort of compensation for having my organs reduced to the consistency of lumpy oatmeal!

[xinshanquangal]

Yeah, sure, sounds like a great time. Pfft.

I think he's th' sort who comes from a time where th' only way to compensate is to beat th' offender th' fuck up. Good luck with that. Pfft ha ha ha.

[not_aquaman]

Oh, you mock immortality now, but let's see what you say after you realise all the possibilities! That Kill Bill guy who died by wanking himself off and choking himself at the same time? I can do it all I want and not have to worry about dying with my pants down. I'd like to see you try and do the same!

Naaah, fighting's not really my style. Hey, you seem to know him pretty well. How's about you go introduce him to the concept of karma? You know, 'do right by the person you've wronged,' or something like that. That's a much better solution.

[xinshanquangal]

Yeah, you know, when I die, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be so pathetic.

He barely understands th' concept of bathing for public appearances and you want me to explain philosophy to him?

[not_aquaman]

Pffft, who cares about dying a heroic death when you can die a thousand times over? Just wait for the right opportunity! Besides, I already had my heroic death, so I think I've earned the right to die however I want.

All right then. Tell him I'm God, and he needs to repent for his sins by being my slave! It's close enough to the truth, isn't it?

[xinshanquangal]

You're a loser and an asshat, anybody ever tell you that?

[not_aquaman]

So? Will you do a dead man a favour and get your little buddy to dig me up and pay me back one way or another? If that's not enough incentive for ya, my bed's always got extra space for one more!

[xinshanquangal]

PFFFT ha ha ha are you fuckin' kidding me?! Man, you are so fuckin' full of yourself it's hilarious! What would I want with your tiny dick anyway? And deal with him yerself. I'm lookin' forward to hearing you whine about gettin' brained to death.

[not_aquaman]

Hey, there's no need to have a go at my dick, those are some very hurtful words! And I'll have you know, I've ruptured some girl's fannies for life with the size of this lovely cock!

Oh, I'd love to deal with him myself, but as you might've noticed, I'm six feet under, and the little arsehole's too retarded to understand anything I'd tell him.

[xinshanquangal]

Pfft, yeah, sure, probably from them laughin' their asses off. Heh heh.

He's not retarded, he's prehistoric. YER the retarded one. Learn th' difference.

[not_aquaman]

Well, I do like to woo the girls with my humour and wit.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. You speak prehistoric, right? Just tell the dope to dig me up already!

[xinshanquangal]

Keep tellin' yerself it's yer wit if it helps you sleep at night, man.

Fine, fine. Fuckin' hell you're obnoxious. I'll see what I can do.

[not_aquaman]

Thank you. Now was that so hard?