Fic: Ron Weasley And A Litter Of Trouble (1/1)
Title: Ron Weasley And A Litter Of Trouble
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Coarse language and possibly disturbing mental images depending on your kinks
Summary: The Joy Of New Life, and why you should read the fine print on spells and potions. Long awaited sequel to Ron Weasley And The Purrfect Girl
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own sick disturbing imagination.
Author Notes: I hope you'll forgive me. A snippet of dialogue and action is taken from the amazing television show "Coupling" and is used as a tribute there to. An amazingly big thanks to BastardSnow for beta'ing and making this thing a multitude or more better (yes, it used to be worse). Thank you, my friend, for proving the Mythbusters right, a turd can be polished.
- - - - -
Ron Weasley went flying through the doors of the birthing suites in the Birthing Ward at St. Mungos to land at the feet of a surprised mediwitch as Harry Potter quickly followed him out.
The mediwitch helped Ron to his feet and asked him what happened. "She wanted to try natural Muggle childbirth and made me promise to ask her three times before letting her have a Birthing Draught. I still have to ask her two more times."
Harry shook his head as Ron stood up. "She said 'you can't.'"
"Mate I don't think she said 'can't,'" Ron said as he shook his head and ventured once more unto the breach.
Ron brushed Hermione's hair away from her face as he knelt down to be closer to her. "You made me promise to ask you three times 'Mione. Are you sure you want the Birthing Draught?"
Hermione pulled Ron even closer to her face and practically growled, "I know what I made you promise and yes I want the bloody Birthing Draught and yes to the next time you ask. Now get me the draught before I hex your bits off!"
"Ginny?" Harry started as he stood next to his wife in their support giving, birth-adjacent place in Hermione's birthing suite.
"Yes Harry?"
"You're going to take the draught when it's our time, right?"
"Of course I am, I'd decided that before I'd even seen this insanity."
"Can I stay in the waiting area with the rest of your family?" Harry asked hopefully.
Ginny turned a playful glare on her husband. "Coward."
"I'm just leaving my foolhardy hero days behind me like you wanted me to dear," Harry said, not even bothering to move out of the way as his wife's elbow hit his stomach.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Weasley but we're past the point a birthing draught would be effective," the mediwitch told Hermione. "I'm afraid you'll just have to hold firm and be ready to push."
Hermione's hand went around Ron's neck and she screamed at him. "You did this to me!"
Ron managed to pry his wife's hand away and squeak out, "How could I have known your full body self-transfiguration charm negated the anti-conception charms?"
Hermione went unnaturally still despite her labor and gave Ron a look that had him backing away and Harry moving to put Ginny in front of him. "Are you saying it's my fault?"
"No no, of course not dear. I just meant that with your transfiguration-" Ron didn't get any further in trying to ease himself out of trouble he was again flung through the suites' doors by a burst of "accidental" wandless magic by Hermione.
Harry decided it was safer to hide behind his wife and let Ron return on his own.
Ron was back at Hermione's side as she screamed, cursed and pushed her way to giving birth to their first... kitten. A shake of the mediwitch's head and a muttered "finite incantatem" and a lovely pink baby girl took it's place. Then another kitten, another mutter and a baby boy. This continued until their were three blue swaddled bundles and three pink swaddled bundles in the room.
As Ron and Hermione coo'd in joy at their instant ready large family, Harry whispered to his wife. "Ginny did-"
"Don't say it."
"But that one looked-"
"I said don't say it Harry."
"I -"
Ginny whirled on her husband and glared at him. "Dammit Harry, we are not telling my brother that one of his newborns looks like..."
"Like?" Harry asked.
Ginny deflated, and whispered, "Like Crookshanks."
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Coarse language and possibly disturbing mental images depending on your kinks
Summary: The Joy Of New Life, and why you should read the fine print on spells and potions. Long awaited sequel to Ron Weasley And The Purrfect Girl
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own sick disturbing imagination.
Author Notes: I hope you'll forgive me. A snippet of dialogue and action is taken from the amazing television show "Coupling" and is used as a tribute there to. An amazingly big thanks to BastardSnow for beta'ing and making this thing a multitude or more better (yes, it used to be worse). Thank you, my friend, for proving the Mythbusters right, a turd can be polished.
- - - - -
Ron Weasley went flying through the doors of the birthing suites in the Birthing Ward at St. Mungos to land at the feet of a surprised mediwitch as Harry Potter quickly followed him out.
The mediwitch helped Ron to his feet and asked him what happened. "She wanted to try natural Muggle childbirth and made me promise to ask her three times before letting her have a Birthing Draught. I still have to ask her two more times."
Harry shook his head as Ron stood up. "She said 'you can't.'"
"Mate I don't think she said 'can't,'" Ron said as he shook his head and ventured once more unto the breach.
Ron brushed Hermione's hair away from her face as he knelt down to be closer to her. "You made me promise to ask you three times 'Mione. Are you sure you want the Birthing Draught?"
Hermione pulled Ron even closer to her face and practically growled, "I know what I made you promise and yes I want the bloody Birthing Draught and yes to the next time you ask. Now get me the draught before I hex your bits off!"
"Ginny?" Harry started as he stood next to his wife in their support giving, birth-adjacent place in Hermione's birthing suite.
"Yes Harry?"
"You're going to take the draught when it's our time, right?"
"Of course I am, I'd decided that before I'd even seen this insanity."
"Can I stay in the waiting area with the rest of your family?" Harry asked hopefully.
Ginny turned a playful glare on her husband. "Coward."
"I'm just leaving my foolhardy hero days behind me like you wanted me to dear," Harry said, not even bothering to move out of the way as his wife's elbow hit his stomach.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Weasley but we're past the point a birthing draught would be effective," the mediwitch told Hermione. "I'm afraid you'll just have to hold firm and be ready to push."
Hermione's hand went around Ron's neck and she screamed at him. "You did this to me!"
Ron managed to pry his wife's hand away and squeak out, "How could I have known your full body self-transfiguration charm negated the anti-conception charms?"
Hermione went unnaturally still despite her labor and gave Ron a look that had him backing away and Harry moving to put Ginny in front of him. "Are you saying it's my fault?"
"No no, of course not dear. I just meant that with your transfiguration-" Ron didn't get any further in trying to ease himself out of trouble he was again flung through the suites' doors by a burst of "accidental" wandless magic by Hermione.
Harry decided it was safer to hide behind his wife and let Ron return on his own.
Ron was back at Hermione's side as she screamed, cursed and pushed her way to giving birth to their first... kitten. A shake of the mediwitch's head and a muttered "finite incantatem" and a lovely pink baby girl took it's place. Then another kitten, another mutter and a baby boy. This continued until their were three blue swaddled bundles and three pink swaddled bundles in the room.
As Ron and Hermione coo'd in joy at their instant ready large family, Harry whispered to his wife. "Ginny did-"
"Don't say it."
"But that one looked-"
"I said don't say it Harry."
"I -"
Ginny whirled on her husband and glared at him. "Dammit Harry, we are not telling my brother that one of his newborns looks like..."
"Like?" Harry asked.
Ginny deflated, and whispered, "Like Crookshanks."