FUCKING CONFUSED!!!
So, last night I sat up at the park and talked to this guy for an hour and a half. He flirted so much, and he acted like we were dating...but we arent. In fact he recently got out of a HORRIBLE relationship and he now hates the girl. He told me so much personal stuff and so many secrets. I felt like we re-connected...but I don't know if we did? before he left, he thanked me for the support I gave him for his dad and he gave me the best hug EVER!! (30 seconds of a tight hug with back-rubbage and I could definitley feel the package...) Tonight he was gonna come hang out with me and Van and Ryan. He was really excited and so were we...but he never showed. Van called him around 10:30 and he said that he was going to bed. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HE WANTS FROM ME!!! All I know is that it is obvious how I feel about him and he knows how I feel about him. My friends want me to tell him exactly how I feel, straight forward. I don't think I can do that. I can't put myself out there with him again and be shot down and crushed AGAIN. It has happened too many times. I wish I could read his mind or something. Oh, wait...what if he told me what he was thinking? or what he wanted from me? or how he felt about me? THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!! ugh...I hate this. I wish I could go back to last year and have things with him be the way they used to be...