(no subject)

May 12, 2009 21:58

i kinda feel lost when not organizing something.

i'm beginning to realize this.
and tonight i went to the library to hear about the, 'beloved community'.
which i have heard so many speeches about community change and involvement.
i have organized conferences and picked the 'inspirational/motivational' speakers for goodness sake.

and now what do i do?
i plan everyday in my job.
i get paid and health insurance to work at a non-profit that i can radicalize through advocating for my clients who deal with fucked up mental health industry, government control over their life because they are developmentally disabled, as well as, holding myself and my co-workers accountable for truly supporting our clients in their lives.

Im totally thankful for this experience and job security!
but i still have to sensor myself and i'm not really networking with the larger community. (yes mostly queer is what i thrive on and enjoy)

this is what i miss!

does it mean gathering other homo/radical folks in social services?
or more community workshops on issues in our communities.

something...

i learned my LIFE card and SOUL tarot card is the Hierophant, which means i'm meant to be instructing/teaching and keeping with customs. i see this so much for my life so far and am really curious about its future. i don't want to get in a comfortable bubble here in portland where i don't have to defend myself as much as i did in the south.

and yes reading words from major organizers on a powerpoint slide made me remember the inspiration for change that i have felt in my life.
and i'm very wanting and curious about my journey in keeping this passion and idealism for change and human/community growth.

very curious indeed.
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