Lifting Stories
Unlike some people, I don't go to the gym to attend a social event. I'm not one of those guys who will do one set, then stand around and talk for 15 minutes about how much they can bench and how awesome they think they are.
That being said, it doesn't mean that I don't get my moments of fun and entertainment while at said lifting facility. I've accumulated a few incidents of the something-really-funny-happened-while-I-was-in-the-middle-of-a-set nature, and I figured I'd share them with you here.
First off, the radio: Now, Ron and I would much rather bring in a good Bonkers CD or a hardstyle nonstop than listen to whatever the radio has to offer. I find that sort of stuff to be a lot more energizing than generic radio programming, but house rules say "radio". So the radio's fine; it caters to a larger audience and offers some familiar tunes, but with that comes something else that is always disappointing, and sometimes very distracting: commercials.
It's happened a couple times: a commercial will come on while I'm in the middle of a set, and the circumstances are so hilarious that I need to quite like 4 reps in because I can't stop laughing. And the worst part is, it always seems to happen while we're at the bicep curl machine, which is right next to the radio! The first incident happened right while I was working on that bicep curl machine. Right when I started my set, a commercial came on asking or donations for some sort of cancer society. Sounds harmless, but this commercial was really graphic. It was like "children and babies everywhere are DYING because we don't have enough money" (guilt card much?). Anyways, this commercial comes on while I'm lifting, and Ron's like "man, don't these dead baby commercials give you a huge pump?" and I started laughing and eventually had to quit my set.
Something similar happened a week or two later at the same machine. I just started my set, and coming from next next to me I hear "try our new MALE ENHANCEMENT pills! You'll enjoy LIVING LARGE with a new HUUGE REPUTATION!". You can imagine that I didn't survive many more reps before I broke down laughing.
Now, I suppose the radio can be forgiven; they probably don't give to much consideration to gym-goers with questionable senses of humour. On the other hand, the people who are actually at the gym should probably be a little more considerate about the things they say/do when someone is lifting.
Ron is one culprit of this. One time he farted while he was spotting me on incline bench press (so I was definitely in the radius of his fart aura). Now, Ron isnt the kind of guy who could be like "maybe this fart won't stink too bad". No. His farts always smell like dingus. It didn't take very long for said fart to permeate my nostrils. It was horrible and distracting in and of itself, but I also started lauging because it was totally inconsiderate of him to do. And it wasn't like he farted while he was in the middle of spotting me, because he really wouldn'tv'e had a choice in that situation. He farted right before I started lifting.
And finally, this is probably the funniest incident that happened. Ron and I are doing modified cable flyes, which are rather difficult, such that you do them with a much lower weight than normal flyes. Anyways, before I start my set, one of Ron's friends Tyler just arrived, so they're talking about whatever. Tyler starts telling a story about when he went to the club, so I didn't pay much attention, and started my set, but once I got started the story got really graphic. He started talking about this really fat chick rockin' out on the dance floor, so fat that she had frass (frass = front ass). The story gets worse as Tyler's like "so there's this huge chick, and this other guy comes up from behind and starts grinding her ass hardcore, and then he reaches around and like, starts fingering her underneath her frass!" And he's speaking so fast too, so I'm like laughing my ass off while I'm trying to do this motherfucker exercise, and just end up quitting and giving him a humoured "what the hell, man?!"
---
Thank you very much for reading. I hope you found these little memoirs at least mildly entertaining. I know this isn't really the kind of thing people post in LJ, but I thought it was fun. Lemme know what you think.
Later~
That being said, it doesn't mean that I don't get my moments of fun and entertainment while at said lifting facility. I've accumulated a few incidents of the something-really-funny-happened-while-I-was-in-the-middle-of-a-set nature, and I figured I'd share them with you here.
First off, the radio: Now, Ron and I would much rather bring in a good Bonkers CD or a hardstyle nonstop than listen to whatever the radio has to offer. I find that sort of stuff to be a lot more energizing than generic radio programming, but house rules say "radio". So the radio's fine; it caters to a larger audience and offers some familiar tunes, but with that comes something else that is always disappointing, and sometimes very distracting: commercials.
It's happened a couple times: a commercial will come on while I'm in the middle of a set, and the circumstances are so hilarious that I need to quite like 4 reps in because I can't stop laughing. And the worst part is, it always seems to happen while we're at the bicep curl machine, which is right next to the radio! The first incident happened right while I was working on that bicep curl machine. Right when I started my set, a commercial came on asking or donations for some sort of cancer society. Sounds harmless, but this commercial was really graphic. It was like "children and babies everywhere are DYING because we don't have enough money" (guilt card much?). Anyways, this commercial comes on while I'm lifting, and Ron's like "man, don't these dead baby commercials give you a huge pump?" and I started laughing and eventually had to quit my set.
Something similar happened a week or two later at the same machine. I just started my set, and coming from next next to me I hear "try our new MALE ENHANCEMENT pills! You'll enjoy LIVING LARGE with a new HUUGE REPUTATION!". You can imagine that I didn't survive many more reps before I broke down laughing.
Now, I suppose the radio can be forgiven; they probably don't give to much consideration to gym-goers with questionable senses of humour. On the other hand, the people who are actually at the gym should probably be a little more considerate about the things they say/do when someone is lifting.
Ron is one culprit of this. One time he farted while he was spotting me on incline bench press (so I was definitely in the radius of his fart aura). Now, Ron isnt the kind of guy who could be like "maybe this fart won't stink too bad". No. His farts always smell like dingus. It didn't take very long for said fart to permeate my nostrils. It was horrible and distracting in and of itself, but I also started lauging because it was totally inconsiderate of him to do. And it wasn't like he farted while he was in the middle of spotting me, because he really wouldn'tv'e had a choice in that situation. He farted right before I started lifting.
And finally, this is probably the funniest incident that happened. Ron and I are doing modified cable flyes, which are rather difficult, such that you do them with a much lower weight than normal flyes. Anyways, before I start my set, one of Ron's friends Tyler just arrived, so they're talking about whatever. Tyler starts telling a story about when he went to the club, so I didn't pay much attention, and started my set, but once I got started the story got really graphic. He started talking about this really fat chick rockin' out on the dance floor, so fat that she had frass (frass = front ass). The story gets worse as Tyler's like "so there's this huge chick, and this other guy comes up from behind and starts grinding her ass hardcore, and then he reaches around and like, starts fingering her underneath her frass!" And he's speaking so fast too, so I'm like laughing my ass off while I'm trying to do this motherfucker exercise, and just end up quitting and giving him a humoured "what the hell, man?!"
---
Thank you very much for reading. I hope you found these little memoirs at least mildly entertaining. I know this isn't really the kind of thing people post in LJ, but I thought it was fun. Lemme know what you think.
Later~