A Revelation
So yesterday I was discussing with my room mate this abusve relationship I underwent while living under my mom's roof. he let me read a chapter in some sociology book that he had laying around, and it basically shed light on my predicament. it wasn't so much exposing what she had done wrong, but also how I internalized the abuse to the point in which it manifested itself in shot relationships, low self esteem and a deprecatory nature.
I now understood why I let a couple of women walk all over me because I had seen the same characteristics in my mom, and I transferred that skewed view onto my relationships. I found myself being the same way I was with her, with them. Wow.
So I think I am going to get counseling and really clean up my act. I think I am ready to be in a commited relationship again, but I need to first uproot the malignant bitterness that has taken a hold in my mental and emotional states. until that happens, I am good for nothing.
I now understood why I let a couple of women walk all over me because I had seen the same characteristics in my mom, and I transferred that skewed view onto my relationships. I found myself being the same way I was with her, with them. Wow.
So I think I am going to get counseling and really clean up my act. I think I am ready to be in a commited relationship again, but I need to first uproot the malignant bitterness that has taken a hold in my mental and emotional states. until that happens, I am good for nothing.