Thinking about it...
I told you I would be back.
And then I was thinking about my relationship with my dad.
I need my dad.
I miss him like crazy and I really wish I knew what happened to the relationship he and I once had.
I am very eager to get this letter he wrote me.
I need my dad.
There are so many things that I need him for physically and emotionally.
Well, for one, I used to be "Daddy's little girl" and I'm not really anymore.
I don't want to meet his new girlfriend but if that's what is tearing my dad and I appart, I'll meet her. I just won't like her.
If I don't have a relationship with my dad, then who's my boyfriend supposed to ask permission to marry me from? I know that's a long time away, but just stuff I think about.
Who is going to me walk down the isle when I get married? I know thats even longer away but I'm a girl I worry about that stuff. And I know I said that Dave can walk me down the isle, but still...
I miss my daddy!!!
I still don't like his new girlfriend. But it all seems so complicated, I'm not saying she doesn't exist, I've accepted that much, I just don't like that my dad has let her come in so far into his life that he has actually chosen her over me.
I am sick of crying myself to sleep night after night. I'm sick of being so upset because once again what he said fell through, and wondering when it will happen.
Tonight is my sister's birthday dinner, and If my dad shows up with Karena I will be mucho upset. And I know my mom will too.
I am now stressing about my dad acting like a jerk wad!
UGH! Okay well yeah...
Xoxo.
Ashley