"See You at the Bitter End" - A Saul/Ellen Mix
Theme 005 - Saul/Ellen - See You at the Bitter End
Made for Theme 005 over at fanmix, which was one character's mixtape to another. Since my brain's been eaten by BSG recently, and it's sort of difficult for them to have mixtapes, this is my attempt at that. Forgive the possible canon twisting and taking liberties with characterization.
So this is my mix for the Tighs, taking them from pre-series to "Crossroads, Part Two". Spoilers for all major plot points from the mini to the end of S3.
~*~*~*~
Saul finds the recording on the floor, fallen between his (their) bed and the dresser. He'd never have known it was there if he weren't crazy enough to chase the music in the ship and sober enough to know the laugh he hears is only in his head.
Hasn't heard it in a while - it's been months since New Caprica and she only laughs at him when he's sober. When ambrosia's just a memory of her tongue slick and hot against his, and the last bottle of whiskey is safely stowed in Bill's quarters where he knows they won't touch it. He'd say he likes the feeling of sobriety, but if it means hearing that laugh, smelling her perfume - he'll stick to drinking, thanks.
And really, if the day you find out you're a toaster isn't an occasion to drink, Saul doesn't know what the frak is.
So he cracks open the jug of hooch - nice to see the deck crew's still is as active as ever - and picks up the tape from the desk. He doesn't know what makes him dig out that old player Chief built out of spare parts, but he switches the tape on before his sense gets the better of him.
Her voice is the first thing he hears, and it hits him like one of Bill's left hooks.
"Took you long enough to find this, Saul. That is, I assume it's been ages since - since New Caprica - and you've just now gotten drunk enough to go through my things."
Woman would laugh herself sick if she knew he was mostly-sober.
"I made this for you for, oh, gods, so many reasons. So you'd have some happy memories of me instead of all the baggage I left you with. So you'd finally hear some decent music that's not those pub songs from Aerelon you sing when you're toasted."
He has good memories involving her, quite a few pints of good Aerelon beer, the alley behind the Blue Horizon, and those aforementioned "pub songs". And he doesn't recall her complaining then.
"And mostly, my love, so you remember that I did - and still do - love you."
His chest aches, and he wonders if the pain is real or just a glitch in his programming. Software doesn't hurt, right? Sure, the toasters bleed well enough - Boomer and Sharon and that blonde bitch down in the cell - and they make pain noises, but it's because humans told them they should. The feelings aren't there, are they?
"I won't ask you to listen any further. I've told you what I needed to tell you, and hopefully, you're still listening. But if you do keep this on . . . thank you."
Her voice fades - it always does - and he doesn't switch off the player.
~*~*~*~*~
I. Down to Nowhere - Thea Gilmore
(Yeah, I am going down to nowhere, it's steeped in history/This is high-rise living for a joke like me . . .)
You know me, Saul - small-town living just couldn't hold me. I was meant for better things, and so were you.
II. Dolly Dagger - Jimi Hendrix
(She's got a bullwhip just as long as your life/Her tongue can even scratch the soul of the Devil's wife . . .)
My mother didn't raise me to be a meek little girl, and really - would you have wanted me if I was?
III. Drought - Vienna Teng
(Summer, move forward and leave your heat anchored in dust/Forgotten him, cheated him, painted illusions of lust . . .)
We were never ones for hearts and flowers. I would never be tied down, and Bill captured your loyalty long before I ever came along.
IV. Evening on the Ground" - Iron & Wine
(Garden born of Eden, and the spider bites on all your lovers/We were, we were born to fuck each other one way or another . . .)
It was the worst in the months before the attacks. We've always fought - oh, and how - but the fighting wasn't fun, or easy. It got vicious.
V. A Thousand Kisses Deep - Leonard Cohen
(I'm turning tricks, I'm getting fixed, I'm back on Boogie Street/You lose your grip and then you slip into the masterpiece . . .)
Getting my interest was easy, sweetheart. Watching you learn how to keep it was the tough part.
VI. Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin
(Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man?/Yeah, and didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?)
You won't believe me, but you were my first. No, not in that way. You were the first man I ever loved enough to want to come back to.
VII. Devil Do - Holly Golightly and the Brokeoffs
(You got me drunk on whiskey, drunk on wine/Lord don't like it, but the Devil don't mind/Ain't nobody gonna love you like the Devil do . . .)
To us, Saul - two frakked-up alcoholics who couldn't leave each other if we tried.
VIII. Wild Waste and Welter - Jeffrey Foucault
(Honey leave the lights down, there’s killers on the road/Going door to door with lamp-black eyes and the number on your soul . . .)
It got scary as hell on that planet. When the Cylons came, and you and your resistance had to get as heartless as they were.
IX. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
(I'll make the most of all the sadness/You'll be a bitch because you can/You'll try to hit me just to hurt me so you'll leave me feeling dirty/Cause you can't understand . . .)
It was only a matter of time. I knew when they gave you back that one of us wasn't going to make it, and it wasn't going to be you. You gave them your pound of flesh. I hadn't given them enough.
X. The Bitter End - Placebo
(We're running out of alibis from the second of May/Reminds me of the summertime on this winter's day/See you at the bitter end . . .)
It was a good death, my love. It had honor, and neither the Cylons nor those resistance boys would have given me that. I don't know how many more times I should have to tell you that before you believe me.
~*~*~*~*~
As the last song ends, he reaches over and presses the rewind button. The sharp drumbeats and synth rhythms fill his cabin, and - thank the gods - sound nothing like that other music.
And really - it's nice to hear music that's not just in his head.
*Final track is "All Along the Watchtower", by BT4, which played over the final scenes in "Crossroads, Part Two" and contains the dialogue from the show.
Let me know if you're downloading, thanks.
Made for Theme 005 over at fanmix, which was one character's mixtape to another. Since my brain's been eaten by BSG recently, and it's sort of difficult for them to have mixtapes, this is my attempt at that. Forgive the possible canon twisting and taking liberties with characterization.
So this is my mix for the Tighs, taking them from pre-series to "Crossroads, Part Two". Spoilers for all major plot points from the mini to the end of S3.
~*~*~*~
Saul finds the recording on the floor, fallen between his (their) bed and the dresser. He'd never have known it was there if he weren't crazy enough to chase the music in the ship and sober enough to know the laugh he hears is only in his head.
Hasn't heard it in a while - it's been months since New Caprica and she only laughs at him when he's sober. When ambrosia's just a memory of her tongue slick and hot against his, and the last bottle of whiskey is safely stowed in Bill's quarters where he knows they won't touch it. He'd say he likes the feeling of sobriety, but if it means hearing that laugh, smelling her perfume - he'll stick to drinking, thanks.
And really, if the day you find out you're a toaster isn't an occasion to drink, Saul doesn't know what the frak is.
So he cracks open the jug of hooch - nice to see the deck crew's still is as active as ever - and picks up the tape from the desk. He doesn't know what makes him dig out that old player Chief built out of spare parts, but he switches the tape on before his sense gets the better of him.
Her voice is the first thing he hears, and it hits him like one of Bill's left hooks.
"Took you long enough to find this, Saul. That is, I assume it's been ages since - since New Caprica - and you've just now gotten drunk enough to go through my things."
Woman would laugh herself sick if she knew he was mostly-sober.
"I made this for you for, oh, gods, so many reasons. So you'd have some happy memories of me instead of all the baggage I left you with. So you'd finally hear some decent music that's not those pub songs from Aerelon you sing when you're toasted."
He has good memories involving her, quite a few pints of good Aerelon beer, the alley behind the Blue Horizon, and those aforementioned "pub songs". And he doesn't recall her complaining then.
"And mostly, my love, so you remember that I did - and still do - love you."
His chest aches, and he wonders if the pain is real or just a glitch in his programming. Software doesn't hurt, right? Sure, the toasters bleed well enough - Boomer and Sharon and that blonde bitch down in the cell - and they make pain noises, but it's because humans told them they should. The feelings aren't there, are they?
"I won't ask you to listen any further. I've told you what I needed to tell you, and hopefully, you're still listening. But if you do keep this on . . . thank you."
Her voice fades - it always does - and he doesn't switch off the player.
~*~*~*~*~
I. Down to Nowhere - Thea Gilmore
(Yeah, I am going down to nowhere, it's steeped in history/This is high-rise living for a joke like me . . .)
You know me, Saul - small-town living just couldn't hold me. I was meant for better things, and so were you.
II. Dolly Dagger - Jimi Hendrix
(She's got a bullwhip just as long as your life/Her tongue can even scratch the soul of the Devil's wife . . .)
My mother didn't raise me to be a meek little girl, and really - would you have wanted me if I was?
III. Drought - Vienna Teng
(Summer, move forward and leave your heat anchored in dust/Forgotten him, cheated him, painted illusions of lust . . .)
We were never ones for hearts and flowers. I would never be tied down, and Bill captured your loyalty long before I ever came along.
IV. Evening on the Ground" - Iron & Wine
(Garden born of Eden, and the spider bites on all your lovers/We were, we were born to fuck each other one way or another . . .)
It was the worst in the months before the attacks. We've always fought - oh, and how - but the fighting wasn't fun, or easy. It got vicious.
V. A Thousand Kisses Deep - Leonard Cohen
(I'm turning tricks, I'm getting fixed, I'm back on Boogie Street/You lose your grip and then you slip into the masterpiece . . .)
Getting my interest was easy, sweetheart. Watching you learn how to keep it was the tough part.
VI. Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin
(Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man?/Yeah, and didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?)
You won't believe me, but you were my first. No, not in that way. You were the first man I ever loved enough to want to come back to.
VII. Devil Do - Holly Golightly and the Brokeoffs
(You got me drunk on whiskey, drunk on wine/Lord don't like it, but the Devil don't mind/Ain't nobody gonna love you like the Devil do . . .)
To us, Saul - two frakked-up alcoholics who couldn't leave each other if we tried.
VIII. Wild Waste and Welter - Jeffrey Foucault
(Honey leave the lights down, there’s killers on the road/Going door to door with lamp-black eyes and the number on your soul . . .)
It got scary as hell on that planet. When the Cylons came, and you and your resistance had to get as heartless as they were.
IX. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
(I'll make the most of all the sadness/You'll be a bitch because you can/You'll try to hit me just to hurt me so you'll leave me feeling dirty/Cause you can't understand . . .)
It was only a matter of time. I knew when they gave you back that one of us wasn't going to make it, and it wasn't going to be you. You gave them your pound of flesh. I hadn't given them enough.
X. The Bitter End - Placebo
(We're running out of alibis from the second of May/Reminds me of the summertime on this winter's day/See you at the bitter end . . .)
It was a good death, my love. It had honor, and neither the Cylons nor those resistance boys would have given me that. I don't know how many more times I should have to tell you that before you believe me.
~*~*~*~*~
As the last song ends, he reaches over and presses the rewind button. The sharp drumbeats and synth rhythms fill his cabin, and - thank the gods - sound nothing like that other music.
And really - it's nice to hear music that's not just in his head.
*Final track is "All Along the Watchtower", by BT4, which played over the final scenes in "Crossroads, Part Two" and contains the dialogue from the show.
Let me know if you're downloading, thanks.