wtf? who's that?
So, I'm starting out with a whole lot to say, but not a fucking clue how to actually sit here and say it. On the bright side, I have ample time to say it seeing as how there is NOTHING to do right now. On the down side I'm typing this shit on a friend's little tiny ass laptop. (eh, who gives a flying fuck, am i right?) Here is the real question... why the hell am I really updating this damn thing? I'll tell you the story, then you tell me the answer...
Ive been up here for almost a month and a half now... and i'm feeling the first wave of homesickness that I, in a million fucking years, never would have thought i would. I mean after all I was the one that was all MR COLLEGE. I'm leaving. See ya later, aren't i cool? But yes, I'm homesick. At first it was just Des Moines. But then it got worse I missed my long ass fucking drive to school in the morning, miss knowing where i was and what i was doing... a sense of, even though boring, comforting ritual. I missed a real sense knowing where i belong. It's been like starting over. I MISS MY FUCKING CAR. Of course I've been missing my friends like crazy... But not only do I miss my friends, I'm starting to miss WHO i was friends with... Yeah, thats right... you know what, and who im talking about. Maybe thats the real reason i logged on to this site today... Reading past entries, back to summer when things were so much different. Don't know. The hardest thing is missing something, but not really knowing if you're being missed as well... I would hope I am, but one's never too sure of where exactly they stand. It's odd, because no one could have ever prepared me for whats going on.
I'm not saying that college sucks... In fact, it is the complete opposite of sucking. (heh heh... it blows? heh heh? huh?) fuck off. haha.. No, college is fun, no lie... more fun than i ever thought it could be. but then again, sometimes things cloud our vision of what is fun and what isnt. but being here is definatly tougher than i thought it would be. I tried coming back to des moines, ended up coming back too much and being counterproductive while i was there. heh. yeah, about that... I feel completely different now. Living here in FIJI i feel like i can honestly be who i really am, and who i've never been able to be. Ive always been afraid that if i were just plain and simply the nice guy, and the gentleman that i would always get screwed over. But here i can be that person. Then the question arrises: if you're such a nice guy, why did you do what you did? You say you're this new nice guy yet you still hurt people. To this I can only offer appology to the people I've hurt. Recently and in the past. I hate the fact that I used to be such a complete fucking ass, and now i'm trying to change that. unfortunatly in order to do that ive had to isolate myself from the comfortable past. Adam, Kevin, Troy, and all of my friends that have moved up here to isu with me. I'm sorry for that. For everyone thats back at home... too many to list... I haven't forgotten about you. Not by any means. You're missed so much.
I cant wait for thanksgiving. A month and a half untill I can see you all again, 'till i can be home again... Haha, this has gone on far too long... Thank you to all that have read the whole thing... I needed to put all this shit down to writing so bad. Expect more soon, I'll keep in touch, it's nice to know how shits going.
much love.
Ive been up here for almost a month and a half now... and i'm feeling the first wave of homesickness that I, in a million fucking years, never would have thought i would. I mean after all I was the one that was all MR COLLEGE. I'm leaving. See ya later, aren't i cool? But yes, I'm homesick. At first it was just Des Moines. But then it got worse I missed my long ass fucking drive to school in the morning, miss knowing where i was and what i was doing... a sense of, even though boring, comforting ritual. I missed a real sense knowing where i belong. It's been like starting over. I MISS MY FUCKING CAR. Of course I've been missing my friends like crazy... But not only do I miss my friends, I'm starting to miss WHO i was friends with... Yeah, thats right... you know what, and who im talking about. Maybe thats the real reason i logged on to this site today... Reading past entries, back to summer when things were so much different. Don't know. The hardest thing is missing something, but not really knowing if you're being missed as well... I would hope I am, but one's never too sure of where exactly they stand. It's odd, because no one could have ever prepared me for whats going on.
I'm not saying that college sucks... In fact, it is the complete opposite of sucking. (heh heh... it blows? heh heh? huh?) fuck off. haha.. No, college is fun, no lie... more fun than i ever thought it could be. but then again, sometimes things cloud our vision of what is fun and what isnt. but being here is definatly tougher than i thought it would be. I tried coming back to des moines, ended up coming back too much and being counterproductive while i was there. heh. yeah, about that... I feel completely different now. Living here in FIJI i feel like i can honestly be who i really am, and who i've never been able to be. Ive always been afraid that if i were just plain and simply the nice guy, and the gentleman that i would always get screwed over. But here i can be that person. Then the question arrises: if you're such a nice guy, why did you do what you did? You say you're this new nice guy yet you still hurt people. To this I can only offer appology to the people I've hurt. Recently and in the past. I hate the fact that I used to be such a complete fucking ass, and now i'm trying to change that. unfortunatly in order to do that ive had to isolate myself from the comfortable past. Adam, Kevin, Troy, and all of my friends that have moved up here to isu with me. I'm sorry for that. For everyone thats back at home... too many to list... I haven't forgotten about you. Not by any means. You're missed so much.
I cant wait for thanksgiving. A month and a half untill I can see you all again, 'till i can be home again... Haha, this has gone on far too long... Thank you to all that have read the whole thing... I needed to put all this shit down to writing so bad. Expect more soon, I'll keep in touch, it's nice to know how shits going.
much love.