So yeah
So yeah i'm doing better then before. Still feel like shit but whatever it doesn't really matter, as long as she is happy then I geuss everything is fine. I really don't care about myself enough to push anything on anyone and thats what I did so I feel like shit because of that. I went for a drive tonight, it was hard to get onto 520 and come home, very tempted to just leave for a while. Drive to oregon or something just to get away from this place and all the people in this place.
Its sad cuz I always think about what it'd be like without me here. Without people ever knowing I existed. Yes they wouldn't have the delite of my company (HAH what a joke) or the peace I bring into there lives (ANOTHER HUGE LIE) thats what people tell me when i'm depressed but I really thought about it. I wouldn't be causing the drama I have. I wouldn't be falling to get hurt and have the other person hurt because of how hurt I am. I wouldn't be screwing over my mom's life. I wouldn't be ruining some good friend's day by some comment I make. Well i'm gonna go i've been ranting for just a bit.
Its sad cuz I always think about what it'd be like without me here. Without people ever knowing I existed. Yes they wouldn't have the delite of my company (HAH what a joke) or the peace I bring into there lives (ANOTHER HUGE LIE) thats what people tell me when i'm depressed but I really thought about it. I wouldn't be causing the drama I have. I wouldn't be falling to get hurt and have the other person hurt because of how hurt I am. I wouldn't be screwing over my mom's life. I wouldn't be ruining some good friend's day by some comment I make. Well i'm gonna go i've been ranting for just a bit.