025.Hello,Im terrible
Im unraveling and everyone is telling me that its just an illusion.
This last week has not been terrible by any slight chance,I did the things that I love with the people that I love,But right now I cant help but succumb to the guilt.
Today is my daddies birthday.
Im a terrible daughter.
I always have been.
and I honestly never cared till recently.
I think Im mainly afraid of the reality that mortality can silence anything unsaid and seal the lid of everything unfelt( thats not a word.wow.).This fear has made my emotions skitish and fiendish for these unknown somethings. I dont know where I got all these phobias.
Its so not cute.
So many avenues I've strutted and crawled down but I end up feeling these same infantile urges that I should be able to,logically, pass up.
I dont think Im sad and this isnt self serving,I just need to tell everyone Im a terror but I try really hard.
I dont even know what I want and I feel too much,
I want to help but I dont know what to give or what I have to give.
So I get fucked up.
When the fuck did I become so longwinded?
also:
Liza,Tony,Jamira and I were really close to colliding with another car the other day.
This last week has not been terrible by any slight chance,I did the things that I love with the people that I love,But right now I cant help but succumb to the guilt.
Today is my daddies birthday.
Im a terrible daughter.
I always have been.
and I honestly never cared till recently.
I think Im mainly afraid of the reality that mortality can silence anything unsaid and seal the lid of everything unfelt( thats not a word.wow.).This fear has made my emotions skitish and fiendish for these unknown somethings. I dont know where I got all these phobias.
Its so not cute.
So many avenues I've strutted and crawled down but I end up feeling these same infantile urges that I should be able to,logically, pass up.
I dont think Im sad and this isnt self serving,I just need to tell everyone Im a terror but I try really hard.
I dont even know what I want and I feel too much,
I want to help but I dont know what to give or what I have to give.
So I get fucked up.
When the fuck did I become so longwinded?
also:
Liza,Tony,Jamira and I were really close to colliding with another car the other day.