(no subject)
I skipped school today. I told mum that I had cramps, but really, I was just suffering from lack of sleep. I woke up at four in the morning, then called Jessie in Taiwan and we ended up talking for like two and something hours. It was actually quite pleasant because we hadn't talk in a while, apart from online.
Anyway, after talking with her I went to sleep and woke up around eleven, and saw four txts from people asking me where I was and if I was okay.
... I don't know, seeing those messages made me grin like a stupid idiot. It's nice to know that people care, yeah? I don't know, for a while, it seemed like people didn't care anymore. I guess I have myself to blame, because often I just close up and refuse to talk about it, and in consequence it frustrated people and eventually they just gave up on trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
I think during the past two years, the three people who have changed my life drastically are: Jessie, Jason* and Celia. (* Wow, and we've only started becoming friends in like the past month.) They have actually made me consider changing my way of thinking, and how I should handle and deal with my personal problems and feelings. I don't know, it's going to be difficult to change. Like I said, I'm used to dealing with them by myself. It works, so why I should I try a different approach...
I think I need to go through all my history and just sit down and have a long hard think about how I want to deal with my friends. I'm already getting annoyed at people (or a certain someone) more and more frequently, and I'm tired of it. I'm just... fucking sick and tired of it. I want to change. For them, and for myself.
I want my final year of high school to be worry-free everyday. I want every day to be filled with happiness and carelessness. I don't want to waste anymore of my time in life being depressed.
Anyway, after talking with her I went to sleep and woke up around eleven, and saw four txts from people asking me where I was and if I was okay.
... I don't know, seeing those messages made me grin like a stupid idiot. It's nice to know that people care, yeah? I don't know, for a while, it seemed like people didn't care anymore. I guess I have myself to blame, because often I just close up and refuse to talk about it, and in consequence it frustrated people and eventually they just gave up on trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
I think during the past two years, the three people who have changed my life drastically are: Jessie, Jason* and Celia. (* Wow, and we've only started becoming friends in like the past month.) They have actually made me consider changing my way of thinking, and how I should handle and deal with my personal problems and feelings. I don't know, it's going to be difficult to change. Like I said, I'm used to dealing with them by myself. It works, so why I should I try a different approach...
I think I need to go through all my history and just sit down and have a long hard think about how I want to deal with my friends. I'm already getting annoyed at people (or a certain someone) more and more frequently, and I'm tired of it. I'm just... fucking sick and tired of it. I want to change. For them, and for myself.
I want my final year of high school to be worry-free everyday. I want every day to be filled with happiness and carelessness. I don't want to waste anymore of my time in life being depressed.