Yawns
I'm so wacked out tired. Only had about 4 hours sleep in total coz I couldn't fall asleep and also because I was busy with the business proposal for a major meeting next Tuesday and a preliminary one today with another company.
I burst into tears as I fell asleep, remembering some things in the past and a distinct heart-wrenching reminder that once again another Christmas will be arriving, one without her. Watching abit of the Fann Wong show on TCS 8 did nothing to cheer me up as she pins for her dead bf. I dunno if people ever turn into bees when they die to visit their loved ones, as the saying goes in the serial. But sometimes when a moth flies into my room dead into the night, remembering what my friend once told me about a moth appearing after her dad has passed on and my aunts telling me moths are spirits of your loved ones as a child so don't kill them, I find comfort in telling myself she's there watching over me, somewhere out there. Sometimes when it gets really bad, I can convince myself I hardly see her because....it's not that she's gone, just that we're very busy with our lives. It just makes that painful memory fade away and subside. *wipes tears determinedly away*.
Got the email I badly am banking all hopes on of returning home today. *beams* While it's not a 100% guarantee, I'm one step closer to achieving something I need to do for my family, not for myself.
I think my medication is sending me into deeper depression, than relieving it. Anyhow, I was told I can only see results in a few months but I may become worse from it. *sigh* As if I'm not a monster already as it is at times.
Help me succeed and give me your blessings and your support, ah yee....I'm gonna need it very much right now to get through this testing period of my life.
I burst into tears as I fell asleep, remembering some things in the past and a distinct heart-wrenching reminder that once again another Christmas will be arriving, one without her. Watching abit of the Fann Wong show on TCS 8 did nothing to cheer me up as she pins for her dead bf. I dunno if people ever turn into bees when they die to visit their loved ones, as the saying goes in the serial. But sometimes when a moth flies into my room dead into the night, remembering what my friend once told me about a moth appearing after her dad has passed on and my aunts telling me moths are spirits of your loved ones as a child so don't kill them, I find comfort in telling myself she's there watching over me, somewhere out there. Sometimes when it gets really bad, I can convince myself I hardly see her because....it's not that she's gone, just that we're very busy with our lives. It just makes that painful memory fade away and subside. *wipes tears determinedly away*.
Got the email I badly am banking all hopes on of returning home today. *beams* While it's not a 100% guarantee, I'm one step closer to achieving something I need to do for my family, not for myself.
I think my medication is sending me into deeper depression, than relieving it. Anyhow, I was told I can only see results in a few months but I may become worse from it. *sigh* As if I'm not a monster already as it is at times.
Help me succeed and give me your blessings and your support, ah yee....I'm gonna need it very much right now to get through this testing period of my life.